Judge — September 24, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DECOY, Little by Little. fy ESTELLE MAY NOLTE 46] ITTLE by little,’ the white soap said, As it slowly sank in its round, tin bed, “My life is ebbing itself away— Wasting surely every da: Little by little each day it shrank, Feverishly the water it drank; Rainbows played in its bubbles so fair; Sweetest perfumes were waft on the air. ‘What though I pass entirely away, Moment by moment and day by day? ife, perhaps you'll see That the world will be the cleaner for me!"’ Conservation Wanted. Candidate—** What a fine bal Baby—‘Aw, kiss me likes it and I don't. Meaning of Red, White, and Blue. Teacher—"What beautiful sentiment is behind the idea of our national colors—red, white, and blue?” Willie (whose father is a barber)— “‘Hair-cut, twenty-five cents; shave, fifteen. You're next!"* MAN may have the faith that moves mountains, and not enough to move a woman six inches in a street-car seat. A SURE FOOZLE ** See here, caddy, if you don’t stop laughing at me I'll take a swing at that bullet-head of yours.” * You couldn't hit it, sir."* JUDGE Whiskers. By ELLIS 0. JONES. HISKERS are all right in their place, but they should not be allowed to upset the per- spective. Whiskers, structed, denote dignity; by being neglected, they may denote almost anything but dignity. If, for instance, they are allowed to droop, they denote lack of initiative; but, on the other hand, if allowed to rise, they denote either a fop or a deep- dyed villain. If allowed to become discolored, they denote slovenliness; or, if used to es- cape the wearing of neckties, they denote miserliness. The average man—if the average man can be said to wear whiskers at all—usually starts upon this thorny tonsorial path with the best of inten- tions. He wants to look old enough to make people think he is mature in his ideas and experience, but not old enough to make him set in his wa: But when a man starts whisk- ers, he is at the turning point in his life. If he keeps his whiskers subordinated, all well and good; but if he com- mences to depend on them too much, he is lost. Whiskers cannot do every- thing. They have their limita- tions. Many a young doctor has made the mistake of think- ing they could be substituted for study and knowledge. It may be that whiskers help in attracting patients, but it takes brains, in addition to the whisk- ers, to keep patients from getting well and therefore continuously lucrative. Lean on whiskers if you like, but do not lean too heavily. properly con- but Pat—"* a NW Rock Me to Sleep. ACKWARD, turn backward, oh, Time, in your flight! Make me a child again just for to-night. Mother, come back with the soap as of old, Dig in my ears while my chin you still hold, Rub from my forehead the traces of mud, Scrub my thick, curly locks with the white sud; Then o'er my slumbers your loving watch keep— Rock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep! HE good loser at the club is often the poor provider at the home. pare no expinse at me funeral, Bridget an autymobile, an’ if yez kin git a few flyin’ machines, git thim.”” FINAL INSTRUCTIONS. Let every hack be No More Pining for Him. “es HY, John,’* she said, when she had returned from the seaside after having been absent for nearly three months, ‘* how well you look! And you wrote that you were pining away.” “Well, I was pining away for awhile,” he absent-mind- edly replied; ‘ but the stenog- rapher who left me last spring to get married got tired of her husband, and returned to me a few weeks ago."” Sharing Honors. First oyster—*‘ People are talking of the Colonel's speech.” Second oyster -—"* Well, we are in every one's mouth, too."’ When the Summer Days Are Over. ANY summer sweethearts— Promises to wed Quickly made and broken, Keep the lawyers fed. HE difference between a pair of women and a pair of shears—the latter shut up.