Judge — September 10, 1910 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Above Him. By WILBUR D. NESBIT. HE HELD herself above him, But it didn’t fease the chap; For he knew that she must love him When she sat upon his lap. The Domestic Band. ATHER is an adept at blow- ing his own trumpet, while mother is equally expert at harping on one string. Mother- in-law has to play second fid- dle, and Aunt Kate leads a hum- drumexistence. Grandpa gives every night a solo on his nasal organ, without stops; uncle spends his time in wetting his whistle, John is fond of his pipe, and Emily is forever ring- . ing the changes on her lovers— and I'm a bit of a lyre myself. ONE OF THOSE PLEASANT HOME TALKS: If Lever get out of it, you 'll never catch me in matri- Husbana—"' You can pat this down as settled : You bet you won't, if you depend on a reference from me."" JUDGE'S ALPHABET FOR BASEBALL FANS. ORVAL OVERALL, OF THE CHICAGO NATIONALS. IS for Overall, Husky and tall, Who twirls for the ‘* Cubs" from Spring till the fall. His curves are real wonders, His speed is immense, ‘And sometimes he bats ‘em *Way out to the fence. ‘At home be 's an idol— ‘The fans his work cheer, For when he is pitching Victory is near. But the Donkey Won't. MUCH traveling may come about, Much moving of established junk; If but the Donkey gets a grip, The Elephant will pack its trunk. Another Phrase Modernized. HEN the aeroplanist jilted her, She murmured with “There's just as good birds As e’er were caught, I think.’ | 1 counsel indignantly, when Judge Brewer | stopped him with a gesture. Leaning ever the bench, he said, in his Kindly | orMr, Attorney, you must be patient lwith the doctor. He eannot help it. parently made speaking | low a second nature with him.” —Green Bag. Name Wanted. James Albery, the dramatist, was descending the steps of his club when a stranger ad- A Legal Tender. me witty man of the Middle Temple dents said at a city chop . ‘won't pay for steaks ay tough No law can compel me. legal tender.” They're not A Cure for the Gout. Abernethy was once consulted by & gourmand as to the best cure for the | gout. and earn it!’’ Hen, “Live upon sixpence a day— was the answer.—Red “Time.” The learned counsel was annoyed at dressed him thus, “I beg your being interrupted, so warmly exclaimed, pardon, but is there a gentle- “I shall speak, sir, as man in this club with one eye of the name of X——? Albery answered the question at once by another, ‘Stop a moment. What's the name of his other eye When the Scales of long as I please!” “You have already spoken, sir, longer I"" retorted the other JUST SENSIBLE FOOD CURED HIM. Sometimes a good, healthy commer- , cial traveler suffers from poorly se- Justice Tipped a Little. | jected food and is lucky if he learns The late M. Barboux was|that Grape-Nuts food will put him one of the ablest lawyers in, right. France. Among other things) A Cincinnati traveler says: “About he possessed a remarkably |a year ago my stomach got in a bad large stock of law stories. One| way. I had a headache most of the of his best he claimed to have time and suffered misery. For several overheard in a lobby just out-| months I ran down until I lost about 70 side the portals of a divorce | pounds in weight, and finally had to court. give up a good position and go home. “Well, old fellow, how did Any food that I might use seemed to you get on with your suit?’’ | nauseate me. “Splendidly. Along with! ‘‘My wife, hardly knowing what to VY FoR NIGHT HAWKS. An invention that will do away with family jars for all time to come. You may come home at nig! the club, and be shot right down into your little bunk without disturbing wifey’s slumbers. Stories about People. “Teannot tell how the truth may be; Teay the tale as ‘twas told to me.” A Habit Acquired in the Sick Room. The late Justice Brewer was presid- ing, years ago, over a civil case in hich one of the important witnesses was a horse doctor named Williams. | The doctor was a small man with a weak little voice, and the counsel on both sides, as well as the court and jury, had great difficulty in hearing his testimony. |. During cross-examination the counsel for the plaintiff became exasperated and began to prod and harry the little man. “Dr. Williams,’ he shouted, “if we | are ever going to get anywhere with this case, you must speak up so the court will hear you. Speak up loud and strong, sir The smail-sized veterinary tried, but | it was evidently nouse. Whether from embarrassment or inability, the sound would not come. “Well, your PACKER’S TAR SOAP The cleansing, sc and tonic properties of its pure pine-tar, glycerine and sweet vege- table oils have given it an exclusive character, with unvarying results, for over 35 year. ‘THE PACKER MFG. CO., New York Honor’—began the my divorce the judge gave do, one day brought home a package of h me the custody of The judge was on my “A friend of yours “Not exactly; but he | my wife's first husband, you know bt from “ Brevity is the soul of wi Grape-Nuts food it. I told her it w: to humor her, I tried a little and they 3 just struck my taste. food that I had eaten in nearly a year that did not cause any suffering. d coaxed me to try no use, but finally, It was the first “Well, to make a long story short, I Levity is the heart of it. began to improve and stuck to Grape- | Nuts. I went up from 135 pounds in December to 194 pounds the following October. “My brain is clear, blood all right, and appetite too much for any man’s | pocketbook. In fact, I am thoroughly | made over andowe it all to Grape-Nuts. T talk so much about what Grape-Nuts will do that some of the men on the road have nicknamed me ‘Grape-Nut: but I stand to-day a healthy, rosy: cheeked man—a pretty good example of what the right kind of food will do. You can publish this if you want to. jIt is a true statement, without any frills."” Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to = |Wellville,”” in packages. ‘‘There’s 8 | Reason.”” Ever read the above letter? A mew one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human intere: Fewarereare THE ULTIMATE CONSUMER. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated.