Judge — September 3, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Chew Your Cud.” You never see a slow ol’ cow Git into trouble, hey? So long ez she stayed in the lot ‘An’ never run away? She never got run down by cars, Or mired in the mud, Ez long ez she stayed close to home An’ et an’ chewed her cud. Thed a great ambition once To sail financial I thought Wall Street would bow to me Ez purty ez you please. An’ so I took my satchel bag An’ tried to stem the flood, While Brother Bill he stayed to home An’ et an’ chewed his cud. I walked frum New York back to home; I've be'n here ever sence. I started in to work ag’in, But stayed inside the fence. I've let the other fellers try To clip finance’s bud I've stayed right here an’ worked an’ saved, An’ et an’ chewed my cud. —Joe Cone in Boston Herald. WORKING THE CLUBS OVERTIME. 1, Mr Puttingreen could not find his golf clubs upon his arrival home. A Young Theologian. Minister—“And how did Noah spend his time in the ark? Small boy—"* Fishin Minister—“A vera reasonable sug- gestion, my laddie. Small boy (guardedly) —““But he wouldna catch muckle Minister (surprised) ye think that?”” Small boy (knowingly) —“‘ Because, ye see, he had only two wir-r-ms!""—Lon- don Sketch, “*What makes “The Call of the Stations.” A woman recognized an old, long- missing sweetheart by his voice as he called out the names of stations in the Hudson tube. —Milwaukee Sentinel. She may have recognized the voice but never did the names of the stations. Same Thing. “City people don’t buy gold bricks, you Know,"? said the summer young man, " replied Farmer Corntoss “they jes" Keep pikin’ along, buyin Relons an’ such that look good on the citide. "— Washington Star. A Very Good Reason. “Tommy Tuff,”’ cried the teacher se- verely, “why did you chalk your name | on this new desk?”” \y | “I had ter,” replied Tommy. “I ain’t got no penknife ter carve it wid.”” —Cathotic Times. Where Are the Brides? The maids who in June and July Their wedding togs are rumpling, In August thumb the berry pie And bake the apple dumpling. —Youngstown Telegram. Out of Reach. | Bietiy little chorus girl sitting on the beach; Along come! chappie, and says, HIGH LIFE | “et BEER Mitcer ar Maw “You're a peach. “I may be what you say,’ | putting on a frown, “But don’t think for a minute that you'll ever shake tne down.”* —The Quince. People in glass houses should pull | .down the blinds.— Blue Bull. OF THE N He's ) . 2. It was no wonder, for Mary was using | 04 that’s them in the garden. London Opinion | Corrected. First woman—‘‘Look here! Did you say I stole that tenner you lost?” ‘Second woman—'*No, I didn't, only said that if you hadn't 'elped me to look for it I might have found it.’ Tit-Bits. | Are minglin Because IS for Niles, as you know . His work for the * He covers much pround in the field, And few are the hits he lets pass handy” In action be 's certainly quick ; But there is one place that he 's weak Why Father Digs. While wife and Jack and pretty Pearl, Resplendent in th Their father stays at home and digs. I But father doesn’t care a rip — He much prefers a fishing trip— And what he's digging for is bait. she speaks, JUDGES ALPHABET FOR BASEBALL! HALF THE COST OF IMPORTED Of the Six Ameri can Champagnes Exhibited, Creat Western was the Only OneAwarded the Gold Medal at Paris Exposition, 1900. <== Your Grocer or Dealer Can Supply You Sold Everywhere Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Rheims, N. Y. Oldest and Largest mpagne House HARRY NILES CLEVELAND AMERICANS Naps "shows some class. | tor most aay place, when he handles the “' stick.'” ROMEIKE’S Pres Cutting Boreaa will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be "cp to date." | Every per and periodical of importance in the Uni- ted Stat 100 note Street, N VARICOSE VEIN: is, gladdest rigs, 1 with the seaside whirl, they left him to his fate. ete BAD LEGS, Youngstown Telegram. Every lover of a rood cocktail should eall for —————___ Abbott's Bitters. Males the best wi The Summer Boarder’s Dream. A bowl of milk-toast steaming on the LOMBARI 113 Monroe St, 1GS and TOUPEES 6 Towser tn the 1D BAMBINA CO. Lynn, Mass. sink, A fresh-brewed cup of fragrant tea to drink, And: you beside me in a kitchen chair— Ah! home were almost paradise, I think. —Newark News. Stupid People. | Traveler —‘*Huven’t you a time table?” Station agent—‘We used to have one until the people began to think the| . | trains were supposed to keep to it.”’— Fliegende Blaetter. | APO | pill tind Airs, Winslow's Soothing Syrup the | best recedy for their Children ‘bse bette For Liquor « and Drug Using A scientific remedy which has been skilfully and successfully administered by medical specialists for the past 30 year, At the following Keeley Institutes: Kansas City. Mo. St. Loats, Mo. 01 Locust St. Manchester. N. H. Baftalo, N. ¥. Dwtent. 1, Marton. Ind. Lexington, Mase Portiand. 4e Grand Rapids Mich. Poiiadelpbta, Pa RN, Broad St In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com