Judge — August 6, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Ragged Old Hammock. By ESTELLE MAY NOLTE. S DEAR to the heart of the Irish is shamrock, So thoughts of the games that we played come to me; But best of them all was’ the ragged old hammock That swung ‘neath the shade of the old apple tree. The big apple tree, with its wide- spreading branches, Was just the best place for a hammock to swing; The ropes were so strong they al- lowed of no chances To tumble us out or disasters to bring— The ragged old hammock, the faded old hammock, The ‘comfy’? old hammock where we used to swing. ’ Twixt the Cup and the Lip. By RM. WINANS, ARRIAGES have woefully de- creased in New York State within the last two years and the critics blame the new marringe-license law. Here is one unconsuminated tie-up, however, which is not due to this handicap. Into the marriage-license bureau there strode the other day a tall, gaunt woman, with a lantern jaw, rope- LATEST FROM RENO. Gentleman (seeking divorce at Reno) —"* Can you inform me where I may find the court house ?"" Nanve—" That 1 kin, sonny: but if you ‘re lookin’ fer a di- vorce you 'd better go back home fer a spell. Thar’s a Mormon elder just driv in which has upperds uv fifty wives, an’ be 's goin’ ter pry hisself loose tram the bull bunch, an’ I ‘low it'll be about brand- in’ time afore the job ‘s did." colored hair, and an expression of shrewish and terrible fierceness. “Be you the feller what keeps the marriage books, young man?"” she demanded of the license clerk in charge. ‘Iam, madam. the polite reply. I want to know if you kin find out if Sam Struth- ers is married.” What book do you wish to see?’’ After a long search of the records the fact was disclosed that a license had been issued to him nearly two years before. “*Sam married Matilda Caro- line Smith, didn’t he?’ asked the woman. “* Well,”’ replied the clerk, “the license was issued for a marriage with Miss Matilda Caroline Smith; but there isno record of the marriage having been performed.” “Well, all right, then, young man. I'm Matilda. I thought T oughter come in and tell you that Sam escaped.” A Strong Preacher. HE MINISTER'S eight-year- old daughter was returning with her parents from church, where the district superintend- ent had that morning occupied the pulpit. “Oh, father,”” asked the lit- tle girl, her face alive with en- thusiasm, ‘‘don’t you think Brother C. is a very strong preacher? Id IT WORKED ALL RIGHT. That must be one of those flying-machines Let's see if we can “Hello! we have heard so much about. work it."* Gratified by this evidence of unusual in- telligence on the part of his offspring, the minister eagerly inquired into her reasons for her statement. “Oh,” replied the little miss artlessly, “didn’t you see how the dust rose when he stamped his feet?”” The Pessimist. PESSIMIST is he whose rose Bears no sweet fragrance for the nose, But is a lure by grace forsworn To prick him with its hidden thorn. PRESSING WILD FLOWERS. Important. Teacher—Now, what little boy can tell me what is the most important canal in the world?’ Pupil— T kin, mum."" Teacher—'‘ Very well, Willie; you may tell me what is the most impor- tant canal in the world.”” ‘9 Pupil—Th’ alimentary Pd canal, mum.” 8 THE MOTHS AND THE FLAME, comicbooks.com