Judge — July 30, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

L A * ANS y Egyptian Deities “The Utmost in Cigarettes” Before the feast, after thefcast always:- Cork Tips or Plain “Transcripts.” By GEORGE FITCH. (Peoria Herald-Trannript) FAMOUS THOROUGHFARES. STATE STREET IN CHICAGO. STATE STREET is Chicago's greatest His ear he scratches with his southward thoroughfare. Its real name is Fren- zied State Street, but they call it State Street for short. It is a double-track mob, divided in the middle by two rows And as with awe we watch him—hully | of trolley cars, all ringing their bells. These bells, mingled with automobile toots, make State Street a little more u restful than the ordinary theater pa: State Street is to ordinary streets what a racing automobile is to an ice wagon. It is the speediest street in America, Every one is in a tearing hurry, because the faster they hurry the sooner they will be able to get off the street. Six miles an hour is the usual walking gait. Strangers on this street may be distinguished by the fact that their trousers—if they are that kind— are worn off at the heels. A native in Chicago doesn’t go around a stranger. He walks over him. State Street begins to get violent at the Chicago River and continues in eruption until the Union loop crosses it a mile to the south. After that it ceases to be a city street and becomes a sort of exaggerated back alley. The union loop does this to most Chicago streets. It isn’t a loop at all, but a corset which is gradually squeezing the city todeath. All the elevated trains in Chieago run around this celebrated contrivance and it is very badly con- gested. The passengers are not con- Mothers will find Mrs, Winslow's Soothing Syrup the 7 best remedy for their children. 25e a bottle, JUD gested, however. They are apoplectic. To ride on the loop, walk around a street crossing four times until you find an entrance. Then climb a flight of stairs, turn six corners, go back two corners, turn two more corners, pay your fare, discover that you are on the wrong platform, go back and pay an- other fare, turn three more corners, | and there you are. Some of the citizens do it right three times out of four. State Street is sixteen miles long and one hundred feet wide. It is also three hundred feet high in one place. It) beats the world in noise, department stores, crowds, hustle, signboards, weeds, and cornfields. The piquancy of a Sherbet is attained by using a dash of Abbott's Bitter, Sample by mail, 25 ets. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. BASEBALL SONNETS. THE PITCHER. Gripping the ball with grim and threatening air, The pitcher stands,defiant, in the sun, Red-necked and streaked by rivulets which run Down through the soil just underneath his hair. The trembling batter with his baleful glare He hypnotizes, then with sudden zeal He seems to writhe from out his under- wear And playfully attempts to bite his eel. Now with his toes his neck he seems to feel, knee. A shiver shakes his frame from stem to keel, ee! We see a flash of arm and scarlet | 5, tl hose, And o'er the pan another big strike goes! THE CATCHER. Knobby and squat, with legs that spread ‘apart Like two oak barrel staves, the catcher stands—- An honest soul, with huge and gnarly hands, Whose fingers look like spokes in some old cart. Nervy he is and likewise stout of heart. Waiting, he crouches for the hurtling pill, Hurled by the pitcher with ademon’s art To foil, deceive, upset—perhaps to kill. "Tis not for him the gusping fans to thrill By feats of daring and by nimble wi For him the battered thumb and, sadder still! The swift projectile in his stomach’s pit. The man behind the gun has but a snap; The man bebind the bat’s the nervy chap. ® Pinch, use ALLENS FOOT-EASE. RUSHED. ‘riend—'* Are you very busy these days?” ; Very busy. Iam painting the portraits of my creditors,"* In answering advestisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. for an improved sons and quit sendin’ them to public school.’” GE EVERY MAN needs rest, recreation and relief from the worry and care of business in the good old Summer time, when a judicious use of HUNTER WHISKEY in the FRAGRANT JULEP or the cool, sparkling HIGH-BALL will refresh, strengthen and restore. a CaS USS OS OBS OBS CRS OPS ORS ODS IN THE PERFECTLY PROPER WAY. “T trust,” said the new minister, “‘ that you are bringing your children up he way they should go.”” “Oh, yes,”” lied the wife of the man who had just got one million dollars raper we've hired a teacher to give them dancin’ les- _ WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD. The groom (to his master, who is not in a position to kick) —‘* My lord, I should like to take this opportunity to hinform you that I married your daughter last wee'."" —London Sketch. comicbooks.com