Judge — July 23, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH LIFE MILWAUKEES LEADING BOTTLED BEER RE The Old Maid. THE HUMANITAR!I AEROPLANING FUTURE SUPERFLUOUS RUBBER.—Londoa Punch. Songs of Oh, young William Jones is come out of the west; Of all the bright engines, his engine's the best! ‘And, save his grim stoker, he helper had none; He drove all unhelp’d, and he drove all alone, So dauntless he rush'd midst his en- gine’s loud moa: Did you e’er hear of driver like young William Jones? He stopp'd not for water, he stopp’d e And he skimm’d o'er the streams ren- | der'd black by his smoke; But when at the station he slacken'd his in had started, the down train And a laggard in travel, a luggage-train guard, Was to wed the fair Polly of Jones's re- gard, “T long woo'd your daughter, my suit you denied; Love 81 ls like a steam valve and bursts when it's tied. And now I am come, with my lost Polly B., To walk once the platform, drink one cup of tea. There are maidens who'd gladly give body and bones To jump at the tender of young William Jones." | The bride stirred the Congou, the spoon | took it up, | He quaff'd off the tea, and he put down the cup; She stoop’d on the pavement her sandal to tie, An Eye for Business, Johnny asked his grandmother why she wore glasses, and she explained that it was to make things look bigger. I'm the last rose of summer, And wither alone; All my lovely companions Are wedded and gone. No soul of my kindred, No maiden is nigh, To reflect back my wrinkles heave sigh for sigh. Yet peaceful I rest me Upon my lone bed; No tyrant molests me, THE ANIMALS WENT DOWN TWO BY TWO: MR. ROOSEVELT AS THE MODERN NOAH. —Landon Sketch. I mourn no babe dead. Thus cheerful I scatter Regrets to the air, And rejoice in my freedom From discord and care. Alone must I perish, Alone I decay; No daughter to cherish, No son for a stay. I sink to the slumber Of death’s calm repose, Till the Bridegroom, rejoicing, Shall claim his last rose. —Maids', Wives’, and Widows’ Penny | Magazine, 183: NT OF ARCHITECTURE IN THE —A POSSIBLE USE FOR Every lover of ocktail should call for food, Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best. Humor in the Bible. One does not ordinarily turn to i is Holy Writ for examples of humor. In Now walk on the platform, proof of the assertion that inferential young William J, humor is of Hebraic origin, the follow- i ing has been quoted from the sixteenth So stately his form, and so beauteous) oe iter of 2 Chronicles: ‘And Asa in That never a plank such a couple did the thirty and ninth year of his reign grace: was diseased. Yet in his disease he : sought not to the Lord, but to the phy- bale iy ela tretand theengine| ros. And Asa slept with bis ‘ . | fathers. tion clerk wink’d in bie lit-| 7 sii—except M. D.'s—there is cer- tainly an element of humor in the last sentence quoted above. Those Scotch Hotels. the Rail. And she show'd her neat foot, with a tear in her eye. He took her soft hand, ere her mother said nay. I1_whisper’d, “Ay, | 'ye say? They'd make a ni and young J.”” yt | eat couple, that gal One tone of her hand and one word in Fach tourist of their robberies tells. er ear, My pocket to its bottom thrills, Those Scotch hotels! those Scotch hotels ! | = ted Street, New Y And they open’d a carriage that by them | When I reflect upon its bills So light o’er the cushions the fair lady |Some pleasant hours soon pass’d away; sprung— But when I learned what was to pay, So light the policeman the bright brass | I wish'’d the devil had those swell: bell rung— The landlords of the Scotch hotels. “She is won! We are off! There's no! And go ‘twill be when I am gone— Traber Slseane VARICOSE VEINS, "23265 completely cared with Inexpensive home treatment iy removes the pain. swelling. tiredness and ‘ate. Pall particulars on reesipt of stamp. W.F. Young. 1. D. P--8 Temple St, Springdeld, Mass train in the way, The greed: il . ly race will still rob on. And the next does not stop here!” said And other tourists through these dells | young William J. Shall rail upon the Scotch hotels. There was laughing and roaring with —Diogenes, 1853. GET MARRIED—! able Protest Matrimonial paper with ad- vertisements of marriage- people from all sections, rich, poor, old, young, tants, Catholics, ete, malied, sealed. B. P. GUNNELS, Toledo, Obio. every man; | They laugh’d and they roar’d till their eyes briny ran. They must get a new maiden to hand out the tea, | For the fair Mrs. Jones there they never will se And each one that knows her will laugh- ingly say, “That's a deuced cute fellow, that young William J." Kentucky —Punch, 1848, “Well, grandma,” he said, “will you | put them on next time you cut me | piece of pie?” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. I. W. HARPER Whiskey "THE KIND YOUR GRANDFATHER USED* STILL THE "BEST'* BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO. Incorporated LOUISVILLE