Judge — July 23, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bantam—Oh, Chantecler! Gnost—Revenge, or, Bantam, this foul and most unnatural murder! BantaM—Murder! Guost—Yes murder most fowl! For old Shanghai realizes that Chantecler hats d mand as many fowls as can be procured. Revenge me and the others he would betray! Bantam —It shall be done! I swear it! Guost—Swear! BANTAM AND PLymoutH Rock—D— ! Act Il. A room in the coop. Bantam enters alone and takes a place upon his perch. —To keep my oath or not to keep Whether Bantas my oath; that is the question. A QUESTION * Is life worth living ?"* Jones Jinks— ‘tis nobler to avenge my father’s death or yield to the vanity of decorating a pretty woman's hat myself. To die, to sleep, and by doing this to reach the goal of my ambi- tious pride; ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep; perchance to dream of the adoration that awaits me. For in that sleep of death may come a thousand worshiping women round me, with folded, reverent hands and envious eyes, showing the respect that makes a joy of such a death. For who would bear the housewives’ “Shoo!” the farmers’ contumely, the pangs of flippant hens who will not lay, the inso- lence of poultry dealers, and the spurns of folks who plant garden seeds that they don’t want dug up, when he might exalt himself, into an idol of feminine adoration with a long hatpin, but that the dread of something after fashion has had its fling, the undiscov- ered country of the ash barrel, from whose bourne no traveler returns, puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others we know not of. (Buff Cochin enters, bridling her feathers and cackling distressfully, followed by the King and Queen.) Kinc—Mad, mad, mad! she been thus? QueeNn—Since yester eve, after she had laid a small egg. (Buff Cochin drops brooding to the floor, clucking and cackling dismally.) KiNG How long hath Follow her close, Bantam, give her good watch, and see that all eggs are kept from her, for she’s too young to set. * It's surely a luxury at present prices "* JUDGE Queen—But if she persist, see that only doorknobs are allowed her; for why should she waste good eggs when they bring forty- five cents in the open market? Act III. The garden bed behind the coop. Two cocks are digging a grave and eating the seed and worms that come to the surface, First Cock—Is she to be buried in Chris- tian burial that deliberately sets on a collec- tion of cobblestones and doorknobs until ste starves herself to death and thus seeks her own salvation? Srconp Cock—I tell thee, she is, and therefore make her grave straight. Finst Cock —How can that be, unless she starved herself in self-defense? Seconp Cock—Well, the coroner hath sat on her after she sat on the knobs, but not so long or arduouslv—and he found it so, (Enter Bantam, who picks up a wishbone and gazes upon it.) BanTam—Alas, poor Spec- kle! I knew her well— woman of infinite clucks and most excellent eggs. She hath thrown dust into my eyes a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination is her final end at the dining table! My crop rises at it! (Enter the funeral cortege of Buff Cochin, including the King and Shanghai, who hide behind a slower pot.) Bantam—What fall shadows athwart “- MED was sure he wouldn't be glad, “THERE'S THE RUB." ‘Three o'clock and he’s not home yet. If I The cwife— 'd_go home to mother !"” my path? Methinks I smell a conspiracy. Wyanpotre (running from his sister's bier)—What's done by this mad cock? My father slain! (Draws upon Bantam.) The devil take thy soul and the milliner thy body! (Stabs him with a hatpin.) Bantam—And now I have revenged my father’s death and reached my own ambi- tion, too. Shanghai, who murdered the old man for gain, shall take a dose of his own medicine and disgrace a hat at four dollars and ninety-eight cents; Buff Cochin, adorned by a velvet bow where the feathers are worn off her breast, will find a ready sale at nine dollars and nineteen cents; while I will surely find myself upon one at no less than twenty-five dollars, (Dies.) ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE. Chinatown visitor—"* John, sabee, see screen—how much sabee want for him ?"" The Chinaman— What's the matter with you? Can't you speak English ?"* comicbooks.com