Judge, 1910-07-02 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 2, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents **Fourth of July safety tips disguised as humor**, satirizing dangerous holiday traditions circa early 1900s. The text mockingly suggests "safe alternatives" to fireworks—billiard cues mimicking rifle shots, overinflated car tires, garden hoses with yarn balls—while the final items reveal the satire: hitting children in the eyebrows to see "stars," tying cans to taxicabs instead of animals, and giving face powder to boys who want to play with explosives. The **"Force of Habit" cartoon** shows a subway passenger refusing a seat because he'll "get off in ten minutes"—mocking working-class commuters' stubborn habits. The large lower illustration, **"The Way New York Streets Seem to Uncle Upstate,"** depicts chaotic urban street scenes with vehicles and crowds, likely contrasting rural visitors' shock at Manhattan's frenetic pace and congestion compared to small-town life. The overall message: Judge uses exaggeration and irony to critique both reckless Fourth of July practices and urban absurdities.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A FOURTH-OF-JULY FRAGMENT THAT TELLS ITS OWN STORY. billiard cue makes a sound which, with your eyes shut, resembles the explosion of a rifle and is less dangerous than turning the gas on in the cellar and throwing a lighted match down the coal hole. 7. An automobile tire pumped too full of air and run swiftly over a jagged pavement will explode with a terrific noise. This is not recommended, however, for persons liv- ing on a small income. A cheaper method is to hire a taxicab and take your chances on a short run calculated to suit your means, 8. A studious child will find a pleasurable though rather quiet Fourth of July in reading over the very good reports received from his or her teacher during the last school term. 9. A fairly effective substitute for a roman candle, and one that is entirely harmless, consists in a length of garden hose stuffed with red, white, and blue balls of yarn placed at intervals of, say, three feet. When the THE WAY JUDGE water is turned on it will sizzle forth like a fiery spray, and the balls, as they emerge, will give an illusion not unlike the col- ored balls of fire from the old- time candle. 10. Should you desire to see fiery stars, get some member of the family to hit you on the eyebrow with a fairly stiff box- ing glove, and your wish will be immediately gratified. 11. For little girls who care more for the sibilant noises of the sisser than for the popping of the crackers, a steam radia- tor ready for action forms an excellent substitute, and can be used indoors if the day is rainy without danger of fire to your dwelling. 12. The cruel lad whoused to celebrate the Fourth by tying a tin can to the tail of some do- mestic animal can have just as much fun by making a chain of these and fastening them to the end of a taxicab. 13. A pleasant evening cele- bration for a young manwhocan afford it is to call upon his best girl and spend an hour or two in popping the question. It is just as well for those who decide up- FORCE OF HABIT. Squibbs (to passenger standing on his foot)—"' Here, sit down! ‘There are plenty of seats."” Passenger—"* That's all right. I get off in about ten minutes."” on this method of honoring the day to see . powder and require him to be content with that the young woman's small brother has been successfully fired before beginning operations. 14. If you have a son who will not be hap- py without powder, give him a box of face that; and if, in addition to this, he feels that the day cannot be made successful with- out his burning himself, place a lighted ca dle on the table where he can come in at inter- vals during the day and stick his thumb in it. NEW YORK STREETS SEEM TO UNCLE UPSTATE. comicbooks.com