Judge — June 4, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Refreshing Sip HIGH HUNTER WHISKEY It’s Pure and Good, That’s Understood JUDGE WDIOWSHSSHSOSOSOSISOSOSOSOASVAGaS | $ @ 4 | 4 : : ] For Thirsty Lip BALL WM. LANAILAN 4 SON, attimore, Md. AAI IIIIIIIOI PRETTY MEAN. A new-made widow called at the office of an insur- ance company for the mone The manager s: madam, to hear of your loss. policy. due on her husband’s , “1 am truly sorry, ‘That's always the way with you men,”’ said she. “You are alw: chance to make a little money sorry when a poor woman gets a — Tit-Bite, SONG OF THE JOY RIDER. (As Teanyson might bave sung it) I swoop around a sudden turn, I make a careless sally, And, feeling not the least concern, Go zipping through an alley. Past thirty cops I hurry down, I lay old men and children low, I make the horses quiver; For men may come and men may go, But I zip on forever. Islip, I slide, I skid, I glance, Bold at all fret-class cates and by jobbers I bump o'er ruts and ridge I scorn the bumps and hollows; I scatter havoc through the to I sound a toot and take a chance, , , és $$ And flash across the bridges, Too gay to care what follows. VOMSODSIISAS SSSI SOM ISIS sine red tight's warning glow, The public wants me equelched, I kno . But do I heed it? Never! But do I mind it? Never! = For men may come and men may go, For men may come and men may go, But I tear on forever. But I crash on forever. 2 CAP AND GOWN SMILES a —Chicago Record-Herald, YOu BET THEY DID The little moths are never gay, Stoode—"You take the armch: They do not dance at all. Pearline.”” I wonder what they do when they y Maid ou take it, Chester.” Attend a camphor ball. E Stoode—*Well, suppose we both take Amherst Four Leaf Clover. it.""—Cornell W : ‘ ote First excited reader—"But, 1 : Lady enstomer—*Do you keep coffee he's kissing her right on the chin . in the bean? Second also (quoting) Hi New elerk— madam; this but low aim, is crime. ts is the ground floor.""—Princeton Tiger. versity Chaparral, & Hero (tearing his hair)—'I knew ‘What is so rare as a day in June?” E- I'd find the scoundrel out."” Asked Homer Keats Virgil McGraw. Ki f (in audience)—** You old man, I've been there Collector my sympath myself. Ah, adress shirt! What a meal Kill Goat—*Not for me. has forbidden a starch di Widow, My doctor Cornell “T have a long line of ancestors who were all of my trade," said the bs “Oh, sort of a bread niled the chump.— University of Minnesota Minne hahe in- she “Necessity is the mother of vention,’ remarked the cook, 4 used her night-cap for a pudding bag. Columbia Jester. “Can you tell me if John Drew as much as Anna Held? ‘0; they were playi —University of California Pelican, Mine is a trying situation,’’ re- marked Beatrice Bustle, the beautiful cloak model.—Unir Minnesota Minnehaha, have ¢ "the maiden re usually raw.’ ‘ornell Widow, are going to run vhen t! 'd stand a bet- —Princeton ker—" The! ter show running Maud ow on? solicits infohmation."” “Each bas to be stahted by a crank.”” yrnell Widow, 8 a automobile sike a new ruh- r our mathematics professor What kind of a play “T he wrote a pl could he writ “Oh, I guess he wrote a problem play.""—University of Minnesota Min nehaha. He—" Don't you think you could ever rn ti : hd ! love me? She—"I_ might; 1 learned to like olives.""—University of Michigan Gar- goyle, ROMO- SELTZER HEADACHES 104,.25¢50¢ & $190 Bottles. CURES | | me have the fly back I'll give her a currant for it." ONLY ONE. Little Jack’s mother showed him a letter from a ‘*new aunt,’ who had at- tained to this relationship by marrying Jack's favorite uncle. amma," said Jack innocently, as he laboriously spelled out the signature, “Belle Paine,’’ “does aunty pronounce her front name in two syllables?””— Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the best remedy for their chikdren. 25e a bottle, FOR REMEMBRANCE. Bill—*Since I have come back I find that I'm forgotten by all my friends."” Will—" Why didn’t you borrow mon from them before you left?""—Trenton Times, EXCLUSIVE. Astronomer—** Wouldn't you like to take a look through this telescope at the comet I discovered the other day? Second astronomer—"No, thanks only look at my own comets, "’—Fli gende Blaetter. ine Jelly when flavored with Abbett made more delightful and healthful. % tein stamps, CW. Abbott & ALL IN THE FAMILY. First fair autoist—“Did you have to pay any damages to that man you ran over?” Second fair autoist—'No. Fortu- nately he was my husband."’—Jevish Ledger. “How does un old maid giggle? “*Hee-hee-hee !""— Yale Record, — Lond MY JOKERY. (Dedicated to Esions Phave ki The hours I've spent with pen and pun Are as my bunk-house stairs to me. Each jest rejected moves me roofwart one— My Jokery! Each pun a frost, each frost a fright! My board is due, my purse is wrung! At last I reach the attic, flight by flight, And there ‘To Let’” is hung. My Jokery! Oh, editors, that cuss and spurn! Oh, bills to pay without a plunk! I hock my only shirt, and strive at ls trunk—(sweet prunes —To save my trunk! —Cornelt Wi STORY FOR MEN ONLY. “Pa,"’ a boy said to his father, “at angels men or women?"’ “Always men, my son,’ replied bi father. But, pa,’ replied the boy, ‘I batt er seen pictures of angels wearitt whiskers.” “Well,”” replied the father, “it i only possible for men to become angels by a close shave."’—Atchison Glvbe. YOUR SUMMER OUTING. If you are fond of fi roping tudy of wild animals, look up thi National Park of Ontario for your summ:r outirt A fish and game preserve of 2,000,000 acres, inte Spersed with 1,200 lakes and rivers, is av. offering all the attractions that Magnificent canoe trips. Altitude 2.000 sea level. Pure and exhilarating atmos: vere. 16% the place to put in your summer holidays. Govt hotel accommodation. An interesting a! illustrated descriptive publication tell about it sent free on application to F. P Broadway, New York. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com