Judge — June 4, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAXIMS. June ice mates thin skating— serve it cracked. AUl is not old that titers. NE, June, beautiful June! Time when the lover delights to spoon, Out in the light of the silver moon. Roses bloom in the gardens fair, Scattering perfume everywhere, While the summer landlord cuts his hair. Down by the soft and shimmering sea The lobster and crabs sing songs of glee, And the painter is busier than the bee. Now show pro exams, Baseball players begin to plan To win the cheers of the fresh-blown fan, Dow And umpires gay begin their calls 8 out and base on balls. Summer hotels are out for the vagrant Up in the ver signs of Binks's Pills And various kinds of Sassparills, HELPFUL suGG If you have not already done so, you will find June a favorable month in which tosecure a fiancée. The supply seems to be more ac- cessible at this time of year than at any other, but be careful in making your choice. The thornless fiancée, on the whole, gives the greatest satisfaction to the consumer. Your rubber plant may now be safely taken out of the parlor window and placed in the backyard. To insure absolute safety from cats, it will be well to surround it with a cage of chicken wire, with a mesh so small that the cats shall not be able to climb through and roost on the tender branches. If you are fond of boating, watch the papers carefully for advertisements of yachts to hire. A fine little steam yacht can be picked up now and then for the season for ten or fifteen thousand dollars a week, if you watch out for your opportunity. An old flour barrel, carefully scoured within and its exterior painted with gold enamel paint laid on in two or three coats, with pink ribbons braided in and out along the line of the hoops, makes a very fetching ~ umbrella stand for your front veranda. A good way to rid yourself at this sea- son of the year of a too persistent agent of a seeds company is to give him an order, im- mediately upon his entrance into your house, To cure our fevers and soothe our chills. Brand-new styles in liver pads Vie in the news with young college grads; And pea-green freshmen, all aglow, ors how little they know, And prank their way through the hard As happy and free as the new-born lambs. The rivers burgeon with gigs and shells, And over the hillsides and in the dells, by the side of the babbling brook, The fishermen give the trout the hook. up. §6 7 8 91011 Lah 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 YE DATES. STIONS FOR YE THE WEATHER. Rarely good, swith heary squalls in families possessing trein babies; and in the ncigh- borhood of infant asylums, Snow awill not fall in large quantities after the tenth in southern latitudes, but there awill be some rain in the wet sections. Much cet in the vicinity of seatering carts, with the | eal heavy tides on Wall Street, YE POEM OF YE MONTH. Worms that are wise keep out of the way, Lest the little lads who at hookey play, Deserting the house where they go to school, For the lure and the joy of the silver pool, Shall seize them and use them to tempt and to win The sucker and skate cn an old bent pin. Here in the place where old Cupid abides, The church bells are hailing the crop of brides; And everywhere, all over the land, Dressed up in pure white with a gay sash band, sre furbish- Zune 1910 Fa’ ieee little maidens stand up and ed up, orate And catchers Sun Mon TueWed Thu Pri Sat On Life and on Nature and Saving the 2 3:3: 1234 State, Some speaking in prose and sofffe: speak- ing in rhyme, ; For this is the splendid commencement dured and time. piney hills 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 We dream to the honk.of the drake and Blossom new 26 27 28 2930 : : the loon, We list to the toot of the windy bassoon In the village band on its practice tune, In the rare, glad days of the joyous June! MONTH. for seven hundred dollars’ worth of dandelion seeds. When he faints, have your hired man take him in your motor car to the station and ship him as freight to any point you think well of before he comes to. If he attempts to enforce the order later, no court will hold you responsible, owing to the entire idiocy of the idea, If you find the odor of the lilacs in bloom too oppressive, sprinkle the bushes every morning with a solution of creosote and gasoline, and then either move away or fasten a clothespin on your nose. This will relieve the situation immediately. NOTES ON THE ABOVE DATES. This being the month of brides, we have thrown in five Wednesdays as a special provision for wedding purposes. We cannot guarantee that they will all be clear, but we feel sure that in most instances they will be happy. We have endeavored to arrange with the Weather Bureau at Washington to have all the Saturdays provided in this calen- dar for June clear and pleasant, but the Bureau has not been willing to accede formally to our demands, owing to the nefari- ous influences brought to bear upon it by the rain check trust, whose profits on printing would be seriously affected by such a course of procedure. If, therefore, these Saturdays are not to your liking, you must blame the weather people and not our- selves. Meanwhile, we suggest that you write to your con- gressman about it. We advise consumers to make use of these dates as promptly as they fall due, It is a well-known fact that June days are soft, and this year they will be no exception to the rule, and they should not be kept until they grow flabby or overripe.