Judge — May 14, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Leannot tell how the truth may be: Tsay the tale as ‘twas told to me.” A MODERN FABLE President Hadley, according to a current newspaper quip, visiting a children’s school |; | in Bridgeport, recently asked a little boy who | a, Esau was. hy The lad’s reply was astonishing. ’ said he, ‘‘was the author of a book |// of fables, and he sold the copyright for a ~~ bottle of potash."" Y, THE LAST LAUGH. The Democrats of the House of Rep-| ‘‘Answering, for one side of the resentatives were so happy over the House, the parliamentary inquiry of the election of a Democrat in the thirty- gentleman from Missouri,” said Uncle} second New York district that one of Joe, slowly and with great emphasis, them had to find a parliamentary outlet ‘‘the chair will state that ‘he laughs for his enthusiasm the morning after. best who laughs last.’"” “Mr. Speaker,” cried he, just after Mr. Rucker, the Democratic repre- the House convened and the reading of sentative, flopped into his seat as if ! THAT TREATMENT CERTAINLY DOES WORK WONDE®S FOR JS SHORT FELLOWS!" “Mr. | somebody had rapped him on the head, and all the members in the cha Republicans and Democrats alike in the laugh and applause that fol- lowed. the journal had been completed, Speaker, a parliamentary inqu'ry. “The gentleman will state i plied Uncle Joe. “Mr. Speaker,” cried the man from Missouri, ‘has ‘the House heard the i cont Congress revolver record—the Greatest on world, | lim a Pinch, use ALLEN'’S FOOT-EASE.! ONE thing the wise college girl knows, Karo makes dandy fudge, butter-scotch and taffy— and that she can’t get the same goodness and flavor without it. It is a pure, wholesome sweet for all cooking and table uses—and agrees with everybody. aro “CORN SYRUP * Eat it on Use it for Griddle Cakes Ginger Bread Hot Biscuit Cook Candy Send_your name on a post card for Kare Cook Book—fitt inclad- ing fect recipes for home CAP AND GOWN SMILES TRAGIC. Setting—A Hudson River day boat, Personae—Captain; inquiring strang- “That is Sugar Loaf, eh, cap- Yes, that’s it; a splendid S.—‘‘ Any story or legend connected with that mountain?”’ . Capt.—""Sure. Lots of them. Two lovers went up that mountain one day and never came back again."” I. S.—*Can that be? what became of them?’” Capt.—‘* Went down the other side.’’ Columbia Jester. BETTER BE CAREFUL. Mother said that she'd surprise me, Come and see my college days; But I telegraphed to mother: “Don’t! Surprises work both ways.’” —Yale Record. “And, pray, “Got a thumb tack?” No; use your finger nail. ton Tiger. '—Prince- DREAM OF THE ANGLER WHO LOST A TEN-POUNDER BECAUSE HE DIDN'T REEL IN FAST ENOUGH. DECALOGING IT. | “When a woman marries and then divorces her husband inside of a week, | what’ would you call it?’” ng his name in vain.”* | ton Tiger. Prince- DID NOT HESITATE. “Did you say that you stopped at the Waldorf when you went through New York?” “Stopped at the Waldorf? Why, I couldn't even slack up, there.""—Uni- versity of Wisconsin Sphinz. PREMATURE. Professor in English literature (speak- ing of a woman who was buried alive) “She died and was prematurely buried.""—Hamilton College Concordien« sis, SOCIETY CHATTER He (after five minutes of embarrass- ing silence)—‘*Don’t you think the floor is unusually flat to-night?”"—Purple Cow. WRITER'S CRAMP. “Pa, what is writer's cramp?” “It's being cramped for money, my son. All writers suffer from it.”— Red Hen, AT REHEARSAL. Fan—What happens when the bases | are full Man-—-**A_ discord."" versity Chaparral. Stanford Uni« NOT THE ‘VARSITY SHOW. Clande—""Did you pay to see that show, or were you taken in?” Clarence— Both.” —Columbia Jester. ON SUFFRAGE DAYS. ‘Mother, may I go out to vote?"’ “Yes, if you're on the rolls. Wear your prettiest hat and coat, But don’t go near the polls.’” —Red Hen, Him—T understand that the author of ‘I wonder who's kissing her now?’ made a great mistake.” Her—"When he wrote it?”” Him—'*No; when he sold it for a song.""—University of Minnesota Minne- |haha, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com