Judge, 1910-03-05 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 5, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century American humor magazine content: **"A Delusion"** mocks a pessimistic man descending into darkness—revealed to be merely Jones tending flowerpots after spring's arrival. The satire targets melodramatic gloominess. **"Pessimistic"** jokes about an editor's dark suggestion to control population by preventing poets' births. **"Gasoline Reggie and His Auto"** is a six-panel comic strip mocking an inept motorist and his equally incompetent courtship. Reggie's car repeatedly fails (punctures, running out of gas) while he attempts romance, and his date repeatedly accepts other engagements—suggesting automobiles as unreliable status symbols and commenting on dating customs. Supporting items ridicule a poet paying by syllables instead of words, and a brief quip about women's hatpins as "concealed weapons"—referencing early 20th-century anxieties about women's fashion and independence. The overall tone is light domestic and social satire, not political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A DELUSION By C. LESLIE VAN EVERY LOWLY descending to mustiness, His remarks all laden with crustiness, His clothes begrimed with dustiness, And hands besmeared with rustiness, A form treads on a darkened stair, Down to a dungeon-like stone room, Its outlines hidden in the gloom. ** Who is the man?"’ you interrogate. ** A prisoner fed by the state?”’ “Nay, nay!"? I look you in the eye, And hand to you the brief reply, ‘No; it's Jones, after the flow’r pots. ‘Spring has come!"’ PESSIMISTIC. %»et—'*A poet, sir, is born and not made. ‘I know it. There ought to be some way of keeping down the birth rate.’” WANTS ONE ALL BY HIS LONESOME. Small boy—* Mamma, is my grandpa Jobnny’s grandpa and Harry’s grandpa and Mary's and Susie's, too?”” Mother—* Yes; and Cousin Dick's and Cousin Isabel's Small boy—* Well, that’s not fair! I ain’t going to have any grandpa at all if I can't have a whole one!”” THE PRODIGALITY OF GENIUS Telegraph operator—‘ The chap who just went out wanted to pay me eighty-five cents for a twenty-five-cent message.”” Office manager—'* Who is he? Pittsburgh millionaire?” Telegraph operato: No; he’s a poet, and he counted the syllables instead of the words."” LENT. Mrs. Benham—** We are coming to the season of sackcloth and r. Benham—* And I suppose you will want the most expensive kind of sackcloth."" AT HOTEL BIRD * Gee! I hope that old Rube docsn't blow out the gas!" DRY WEATHER. A DRINKING HORN hung on the moon Without a fear of spilling, Means that we'll have dry weather soon— The weather man being willing. NOT IMPOSSIBLE. “WHY Do women’s hatpins have such large heads?” “So that they will be plainly visible. Otherwise they would be liable to arrest for carrying concealed weapons, *T'l make a hit by giving her a dashing, racy drive through the beautiful coun- posits 4. Reggie—"' Just my luck (puff)! Ran out of gas (puff), and on a bill, too (wheeze) !"" Miss Muchmun—" 1 wonder what time it is?” GASOLINE REGGIE AND HIS AUTO. 2. Reggie —**Darn that puncture! Just when I was ready to propose, too !"” Mis Muchmun—"' My, but it's cold! Br-r-r!"" 5. Reggie—''Can't you hustle your skate a little faster? We haven't had any dinner yet."” Miss: Muchmun —" It must be ten o'clock !"" 3. Reggie—* Ding bust this the deuce is the matter with it Miss Muchmun—* Oh, hum! you got that thing fixed yet ?"” Haven't 6. Miss Muckmun—" No. I'm engaged for every day the rest of the month !"* Reggie—"* Lost again | Au dthirty dollars out besides.”* comicbooks.com