Judge, 1910-02-12 · page 6 of 16
Judge — February 12, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous Valentine's Day verses satirizing various social types and contemporary issues circa 1910s-1920s. **Key Satires:** 1. **"The Poet's Valentine"**: Mocks romantic poets who claim to worship women while actually lusting after wealth—the "Lady of the Silver Dollar" reveals mercenary motivations beneath flowery language. 2. **The Tailor verse**: Social commentary on poor young men's financial desperation; a tailor receives a Valentine because the suitor owes him money and needs to maintain their relationship. 3. **Vesuvius cartoon**: Absurdist biblical humor—depicts what would happen if Noah's ark landed on a volcano instead of a mountain, showing chaos and animals. 4. **Reno Valentine**: Sharp satire on divorce. A wife in Reno (then America's divorce capital) sends her estranged husband a Valentine instructing him to cut a symbolic heart in two—dark comedy about marital dissolution becoming commonplace and commercialized. The page collectively mocks materialism, debt, romantic hypocrisy, and the era's increasingly casual attitude toward divorce.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE POETS VALENTINE By JOHN NORTHERN HILLIARD i, LADY of the classic countenance And chaste, cold smile that drives men tu despair! Thou art the greatest of my present needs, For thou alone canst bring me that sw Which fickle Fortune oft denies her slaves. Thin hall be the light to guide my Along the path that leads to fam Shall gain new strength when Ih Deny me not nor d My yearning but a guile; but come to me, Oh, Lady of the Silver Dollar, and Be thou my valentine! THOSE DEAR GIR Madge—** Don’t you think he was rather extravagant to send me a hand-painted valen- tine Marjorie—" Perhaps. so, think how appropriate it was!" dear; but just FOR A POOR YOUNG MAN TO SEND TO JUDGE'S FAVORITE. HIS TAILOR, AILOR, tailor, will you be Valentine, good sir, to me? If you will I'll gladly call Winter, summer, spring, and fall, And, as nature gowns the rose, T will let you make my clo’es. CECIL KER! AS ° HELENE * IN * MADAME X.” Bright and winsome, Of grace divine ; Oh, would you were Our valentine! VESUVIUS. If Captain Noah had landed on the wrong mountain. peace Freana a fone ——— ON THE SPOT. Valentine to come. FROM A RESIDENT OF RENO TC HER HUSBAND IN NEW YORK :'S a valentine, my dear, H All the way from Reno drear, From your happy little wife When you get it, take a kni Cut the twined hearts in two One for me and one for you, One for you and one for me Are the terms of the decree.