Judge — February 12, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE AUTHOR. (Candidates will Kindly temember that they are not Siting 08 space ate and’ tht ict adsereae to 1 DEFINE the meaning of the vague * term author, and trace the stages of the author’s deviation from the hu- man race. 2. State the advantages of the foun- tain pen over the goose quill in produc- ing masterpieces. Did the art of writing go out as the typewriter came in? 3. Can you mention any other requi- sites for the successful author besides a large supply of stamps? If so, state them in the order of importance. 4. At what age did you commence to manifest symptoms? Were you encour- JUDGE THE CYNIC’S EXAMINATION PAPERS FOR EVERYBODY. By R. W. SNEDDON. an intimate acquaintance with the work- ings of the storegirl’s mind permit you to lay down any rules for her assistance in persuading unwilling buyers at the book counter? | 9. Have you found that a photograph- ally correct study of piquant and witty conversation is ever accepted as any- thing but dull twaddle? How would you, by consultation with our leading novelists, remedy this? 10. How do you make an epigram? Detail the stages of its manifestation, and state what tobacco you use while do- jing 80. 11. Having doped out a plot from the aged to persevere by your critics? Have! you since proved the fallacy of their prognostications? 5. Quote, if possible, the first words of sustained prose or verse which you produced, and state what was the nature of your diet at that period. Also es- timate in hand power the force em- ployed to drive your foolish ideas out of your head. Give any other interpre- tation of the word ‘‘ head '’ which occurs to you. 6. Is there any reason for including the journalist under the term of author? If so, what is the view of the journalist on the subject? 7. What is your recipe for the follow- ing, and how would you set about writing: (a) An absorbing love story. (b) A vigorous and stirring tale. (c) An old-fashioned tale of mystery. (d) A tale of breathless adventure, grim lawlessness, and unbridled passion. (e) A spirited story full of light and shade. (f) An epoch-making romance vibrant with passion. (g) A front-rank novel of intense hu- man interest. (h) The story which the world has been waiting for. 8, What i it be called literature or not? the formula for its production, leaving out of account fifty-nine per cent. adver- tising? Has the binding any influence on the sale of the finished product? Does an outlay in gilt insure a commensurate return in fine gold? Also is the illustra- tor entitled to any of the credit? Does a ‘six best seller'’? Cai — | pages of the Big Three, what method | ' PACKER’S TAR SOAP Tie cleansing, antiseptic and tonic properties 1 pure pine-tar, glycerine and sweet vege- c oils have given it an exclusive character, wrth unvarying results, for over 35 year. THE PACKER MFG. CO., New York GET POWER. THE SUPPLY COMES FROM Foon. If we get power from food, why not strive to get all the power we can. That is only possible by use of skilfully selected food that exactly fits the re- quirements of the body. Poor fuel makes a poor fire, and a poor fire is not a good steam producer. |" From not knowing how to select the right food to fit my needs, I suffered grievously for a long time from stomach troubles,’” writes a lady from a little town in Missouri. “It seemed as if I would never be able to find out the sort of food that was best for me. Hardly anything that I could eat would stay on my stomach. Every attempt gave me heartburn and filled my stomach with gas. I got thinner and thinner, until I literally be- came a living skeleton and in time was compelled to keep to my bed. | ‘A few months ago I was persuaded to try Grape-Nuts food, and it had such HEADACHES | 104,254,50¢ & $199 Bottles, “*S'Death!’’ and read the ‘‘ Fencers’ | Friend,’’ or that you should have lived | the proper atmospheric life for the other E HEARD of standing on the het | - + \W And other hazing joys; . two? Is it usual to retire to an attic to We smiled indalgentiy and eatd Produce ** the publisher's delight" with er te he boyal”” out any of those ai 15. What is the great reading pub-, We read of jabbing in the ribs [lie? Where has it its abode? Have| », And punching in the eye; We laughed at all such comic squibs you ever met any of itsmembers? What| And youthful spirits high. is your impression of their outlook upon life? 16. Define an idea, Explain your method of stalking one in the primeval | wilds of back numbers, should none cross | | the shooting line of your imagination. | How would you deal with one should you run it toearth? Have you devised any method of preventing a simultaneous |use of the same idea without resorting | to a French duel? 17. State what you know of Vers| de Société, and say whether they flourish | SMALL COMFORT. in New Grub Street. Analyze the liter- Willie—“‘Our teacher says that at ary merit of the pun in the foregoing. | the rate people are cutting down the Define literary merit, and quote from forests there will be no trees a hundred | your rejection slips. yeare from now.”” | | Jimmy: ‘Aw, what's the use? Some ANENT HAZING. By Me LANDBURGH WILSON. But that no longer is the rule, | And other thoughts imbue; | Since Mary went to cooking school We take a different view. We ate the things that Mary cooked— Now in our beds we lis The doctor shook his head and looked And said we'd likely die. So now, in fell dyspepsia’s clutch, The custom sad we rue; We think it just a bit too much To haze the family, too. good effect from the very beginning | What is! that I have kept up its use ever since.| Woggs—‘‘What is the largest ship| I was surprised at the ease with which : : afloat?” 1 digested it. “It proved to be just) pw according to the amount of “All my unpleasant symptoms, the | antique furniture around, the Mayflower heartburn, the ini feeling which | used to be; but, judging by the amount Rave me so much pain, disappeared. My | of stuff Peary carried to the North Pole, | weight gradually increased from 98 to) according to the testimonia's in the| 116 pounds, my figure rounded out, my | strength came back, and I am now able | December magazines, the Roosevelt to do my housework and enjoy it. |has it beat a mile.” | Grape-Nuts did it.”” : A ten days’ trial will show any one| HER HAT. some facts about food. by EDWIN 1. SABIN. Look in packages for the little book, ER HAT is a tub, |*«The Road to Wellville.”” “There's a On her head all inverted. | Reason.”” | To write is the rub Ever read the above letter? A) When by starch so deserted. new one appears from time to, The cost was hard wrung time. They are genuine, true, and), By pepe sor the caughter rough stocking the pub. fall of human interest. With unlimited water. I'd rather be hung Than with pen dipped in bluing Scrawl on like a scrub For the readers’ construing. A clothes-pin and dub Do I feel in this folly; My topic a tub On the fair head of Molly. THE REASON, Woggs—'‘How can these fellows afford to run these ‘All you can eat | for a quarter’ restaurants?"” Boggs—*Because the customer is ready to quit after he has had about of mental treatment do you employ to complete the other sixty thousand words, without interfering with your bread an butter work? 12, Give your friends’ definition of your humor. How does it differ from your own standpoint, and state the dif- ference in terms of the dollar. 13. Do you seek your inspiration at the Parnassian Springs or the Carolyn Wells? Do you prefer when Apollo his lyre twangs or when John Kendrick a e Bangs? Frame a suitable apology to| ve cents’ worth. ‘those delightful writers for this unli-! FORESTRY. ROCK-A-BY, baby, on the tree top. If you cutdown the forests, the baby will flop; And when the trees tumble, the ba- bies will fall, censed jest. 14. Explain how you would set about writing a historical novel, a call of the wild wail, or a society scream. Is it [necessary to know anything about the lfirst except that you should say! In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. "em at all! two sir? So put up your axe and don’t chop painted inside last LOOKS SO. sun é: | smart professor will invent something to take the place of the switch and the ruler, so the kids will get it just the same.”” THE POOR we always have with us, as the rich spend the summer in Europe and the winter down South. Landlady (to lodger)—"* Are you in the bath, Voice between the splashes—"* Yes. What d’ you want?"* Landlady—'* 1 forgot to tell you I had it fresh night, sir, and it won't be dry for or three days !"" comicbooks.com