Judge — January 8, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Humor 4 the Magazines || @ | PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. | Father Dooley had just tied the knot. He looked expectant, the bride looked | sheepish, and Pat, shifting from one | foot to another, looked guilty. At last he began, ‘‘I—I—don’t like to be mane, father, but I changed me clothes in a |hurry ‘and left me wages in me other | pants.” Then he added, in a whisper, “Take me down in the cellar; I’m a plumber, and I'll show ye how to fix the |gas meter so ‘twon’t register more ‘than forty per cent."’—Success, “The World’s Best Table Water.”’ Hotel Empire Broadway and 634 Street NEW YORK CITY x New Rupture Cure <= Don't Wear a Truss In the Very Center of Everything ‘4 Brooks” Appli lew dle ce. N covery. Wonderful. No obpox- AIL Aartace ears tase or transfer to doo ~ H J fous springs or pads. Auto All Modern Improvements Binds and 25 you would a broken limb. No salves, No lymphol. No lies, Durable, cheap. Sent on trial. Pat. Sept. 10, ‘01. CATALOGUE FREE |C.E. BROOKS, 2397 Brooks Baliding, Marshall, Mich. WHY MEN GROWL “ Poor Fred was bitten by a dog yesterda Oh, my gracious me! Was the dog mad “Must have been. Fred's done nothing but growl ever since.” Excellent Service —Fine Music 'W. JOHNSON QUINN, Prop. | YIELDING TO THE MAJORITY. | A Philadelphia physician, in declar-| ing that insanity was frequently pro- iia hacia ductive of sound logic tempered by wit, A Polish couple came before a jus-| told the story of a patient he once met | tice of the peace to be married. The in an asylum. — | , Many Physicians recommend Abbott's Bitters as BOOK LOVERS|~ RHEUMATISM & GOUT PROMPTLY RELIEVED BY. jyoung man handed him the marriage license, and the pair stood up before him. He came across this patient while strolling through the grounds, and, stopping, spoke to him. After a brief Copyright. 1909, by Leslie Judge Co. Hundreds of books about, but they must needs look together at one. We've all been there. And that's why this sentimental sepia print, 12x16, and costing 50 cents, will find a place in your book-comer. Other prints from 2Se to $1.00. New Print Circular tor 2 cents. Comp! | Catalogue for 10 Cents. LESLIE-JUDCE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York OF BRAINS \GARS “MADE AT KEY WEST— AMBITIOUS AGENTS will find in our tube form food flavors (saving 85) a remarkable and unlimited op- yunity to build « big, profitable and permanent make dollars by investigating “* Join hands, &Co., 9 Stuart Block, Newark, New York. peace. They did so, and the justice looked at the document, which authorized him jto unite in matrimony Zacharewiez replied the patient. * Perczynski and Leokowarda Jeulinski, “Ahem!” he said. ‘Zacha—h’m: b'm—ski, do you take this woman, ete. “Yes, sir,’ responded the young man. “Leo—h'm—ah—ski, do you take this man to be,”’ ete. ! ." replied the woman. “Then I pronounce you man and| wife, id the justice, glad to find something he could pronounce; ‘‘and I heartily congratulate you both on hav- ing reduced those two names to one.""— Lippincott's Magazine, SUCH IS FAME. When the news that Tom Johnson| was defeated for mayor was received in| the office of the Denver Times, there was not time to do more than run a scare head, ‘‘Johnson Defeated!” The papers were on the street in a few minut and a freckled Irish “newsie’’ started off, yelling joyously, “Jeff wins !'"'"—Success. THE EXPLANATION. Mrs. Youngbride—'‘Mrs. Smith says there is lots of cream on her milk bot- tles every morning. Why is there never any on yours?”’ The milkman—*‘I'm too honest, lady, that’s why. 1 fills my bottles so full that there ain’t never no room left for) ‘art! cream.’'—Woman's Home Companion. | aid the justice of the conversation on conventional topics, the id physi — = ad itrimonial paper with ad- of opinion,” GET MARRIED—wertncmente’ of marriare- * able people from all sections, rich, poor, old, young, id all men Protestants, Catholics, ete, mailed, Free. were mad, and all men said I was mad BF CUNNELS, Toledo, Oni —and the majority won.""—Lippincott's - Magarine. ‘Billiard Table $1 LY—ALSO POOL TARLER, 66, 614, #25 balls, cues, ete., free. Write catalog. 7. HURROWES CO., 534 ElmSt., Portland, Me. y you here?”’ “Simply a differenc A CHANGE AT LEAST. A change of tenors had been made in the church choir. Eight-year-old Jes- sie, returning from the morning serv- ~ ice, was anxious to tell the news. HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS “Oh, mother," she exclaimed, ‘we PAPER WAREHOUSE have a new terror in the choir!"’— Nos. 32, 36 and 96 Bleecker Street Woman's Home Companion. Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekinan Street, New York. ‘ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER HO, FOR A DAY IN THE FIELDS! Whistle that eager pointer to heel, furbish up gun and shooting contraptions, get a good friend that will “go the route,” and spend a day in “God's all out-of- doors.” You may not get any birds, but if you have a flask of “Old I. W.” along you won't miss the best part of the fun. “OLD I. W.” HARPER, Louisville comicbooks.com Pe