Judge, 1910-01-08 · page 12 of 16
Judge — January 8, 1910 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several short humorous pieces mocking American social customs and contemporary issues. **"The Difference"** contrasts American and British political culture: Americans "run for office" with aggressive ambition, while Englishmen merely "stand for it"—a dig at perceived American hustlerism versus British reserve. **"The Income Tax"** is the centerpiece—a poem by Horace Dodd Gaskit satirizing wealthy complainers. A prosperous man with an expensive wife, three sons in elite schools, a luxury motor-car, and charitable donations gripes constantly about income taxes despite obvious wealth. The satire targets the hypocrisy of the rich claiming financial hardship. Other brief jokes mock marriage ("Preferred the Simple Life"), recruitment ("lover of peace"), and literal interpretations of phrases. The cartoon illustrations appear to be generic period humor rather than specific political caricatures. The income tax poem likely references debates around the newly-instituted federal income tax (post-1913), mocking wealthy Americans' resistance to taxation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A PROGRAM. ‘* When the Flowers Bloom Again. Miss Tillie Schmidt. Screech Crime on the Piano Selected. Miss Maybellee Smythe. “Curfew Shall Not Ring To-night."” Johnny Grimes. Dissipation Sing-song and Prance “« Little Jack Horner.” Two Little Girls—Mildred Bjones and Milly Brown. Imitation of a Monkey ‘To be, or not to be” (from Hamlet). Wilhelm Robinson. So-called Song, ‘ I’m in Lo-o-o-ove.”” Clarisabella Jennings. Gush, Mush and Piffle “My Journey to London.”” Professor R. Simons Ransom. Excuse for a Hanging Piano Torture Distracted. James Henry Chesterfield. “Oh, for the Wings of a Dove.”” Again or Yet Tillie Schmidt. Fine Night for a Murder Address, ‘* Now Be Good."” Professor R. Simons Ransom. Vocal Blizzard Final Shudder “« School Days.”” By Remains of Audience. Unselected and Unavoidable. Ambulances and Physicians. Rest for the Weary THE DIFFERENCE. ‘THE difference between a slow-going Englishman and a hus- tling American,” said little Binks, ‘is nowhere more thoroughly exemplified than in the way they go after public office.”” “Don't think I ever noticed it,” said Dawson. “Well, it’s plain enough,” said little Binks. ‘Over here, a man runs for office, while the Englishman con- tents himself with merely standing for it.”” REVISED JINGLE. JINGLE bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the day! Oh, what a graft for the livery man Is the one-horse open sleigh! PREFERRED THE SIMPLE LIFE. Recruiting offcer—'* If you are a married man why are you trying to join the army?"” Henpek—"* ‘Cause I'm such a lover of peace."” MONKEYSHINES. OTHER, may I go out to play? Yes, my darling son. Hang by your tail on a cocoanut tree, But look out for Teddy's gun. A SEA TALE. Mr. Crab—‘ Why does Mrs. Fish weep?” Mrs. Crab— Her poor husband died of that ‘hookworm disease’ last week.’” MICROSCOPIC. Caller at new flat—'‘ Just move in?’’ Tenant—‘‘ That’s all we can do— just move in it.”” EOPLE are lavish with their advice LITERALLY TRUE. because the most of it is useless. Oyster—"' Here 's where I live from hand to mouth."’ AT IF SHE BIB HROW YOU DOWN ? want fe be kep? ap inthe air? THE INCOME TAX By HORACE Dobb GastIT. "VE GOT a wife whom I adore. She's quite a leader in her set. Her gowns she numbers by the score; Her hats are quite the swellest yet. ‘That she’s a picture there’s no doubt, Clad in her wealth of sable sacks— And yet they talk to me about An Income Tax I’ve got three boys. They're bully kids, At college and at boarding-school. Each one of them, I fancy, rids Me of a thousand dollars cool For things they cannot do without— Food, fun, and clothing for their backs— And yet folks talk to me about An Income Tax! Thave a handsome motor-car, And with it an expert chauffeur. Wherever other motors are, You'll find mine always de rigeur. Sometimes the tires go up the spout, Sometimes the carbureter cracks— And yet they talk to me about An Income Tax! I go to church, I have my club, I stand for several charities. a checkbook with a stub w my bent for such as these. I do not ladle money out, But claimants for it are not lax— And yet they talk to me about An Income Tax! I like to talk on topics new; I like to talk of many things— Of politics and skies of blue, But—wel For folks that talk to me about An Income Tax! THE TWO TINTS. 'WO COLORS in thie life do us in- Green when we're young, and gray when we are old. comicbooks.com