Judge — December 25, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wage THE KIND MOTHER USED TO MAKE. EAHE MOON had risen. Inspired by its lustrous beauty, Rupert had summoned up the courage to put the great question. out the last word, the fa face upward to the sky, with a As he stammered girl, turning her way look in her eye, remained silent for a few moments. “* Answer me, sweetheart !’’ he murmured. “* Your silence is torture.’” “1 am thinking what to say, Rupert,” she said at last. love you. evident to everybody else for a long tim “* There is no denying that I You must have seen what has been 3 but I—I must ask you a question before I answer yes, know. —she"’— “Oh, mother is one of the sweetest women in the world, dearest,’’ he interrupted, “ and renmtms she loves you dearly.”” “Yes, Rupert, I know that,’? she went on. ‘I need no assurance of her sweetness or of her love for me. I have met her quite a dozen times, and she has always seemed to me to be one of the loveliest of women—gracious, kindly, free from gossip, and all that ; but ’— :R ‘THE BALL WAS OVER.” “What's the matter, Porkey, did the banquet break Porcupine * No, there wasn't any riot ; only the lion neglected to provide toothpicks for the guests.”” “Oh, I see what you mean,’? laughed Rupert. ‘* You are afraid that some day mother will wish to come and live with us, and that, sweet and lovely character though she be, she will try to run your house and so make life a burden to you, Ah, you dear little thing! let me reassure you. Mother is not at all that kind, and, in fact, she said to me only yester- day, when I told her of my love for you, that if I married, as she hoped I would now that I had picked out the right kind of a girl, there was one thing that I must promise her—not ever to ask her to come and live with us. She understands fully and thoroughly believes in a wife's being at the head of her own house ’’. “No, it isn’t that, either, dear,” the girl breathed softly. ‘ Your mother would be more than welcome always in my home; but’ “Then what on earth can it be, sweetheart?”” he demanded, with a note of deep perplexity in his voice. ANSWER WHILE YOU WAI‘ Young Stony— | called, Mr. Fullpurse, to ask for your daug! Fullpurse—" If you will wait until I change my boots, I will give you my answer.” I cannot promise to be your wife until I Your mother, Rupert, dear—she-er ret RIGHT ABOUT FACE. “My son, are you aware that the indicator of the speedometer is registering backward ?”” rhat 's all right, father, we *re on our way home now “‘ Did your mother ever—did she ever make '’— she stammered. “* Make what?”" “* Pies ?*” she blurted. “Why, yes, dearest,”’ he said; ‘ but ’—— “Twas afraid of it—oh, I was so afraid of it!’’ she sobbed. “Oh, Rupert, dear, I’'—— . ‘They were, without any exception, the rottenest pies that were ever put together at that,’’ continued Rupert, shuddering at the recollection of them. A little ery of joy fell from the girl's lips. “They were, Rupert?”’ she cried joyously. “Yes, sweetheart,’’ he murmured. ‘The fact is, I cannot properly characterize those pies in the presence of the woman I have asked to be my wife!”” “Then, Rupert,’ she whispered ecstatically into the back of his collar, ** I will be yours—your own little wife forever and ever and ever. You can never throw your mother’s pies into my face.’” “ Well, I guess not," said Rupert. “If we ever got that far, a brick would be far less brutal, my best beloved!" And the moon smiled sweetly upon their first embrace. HORACE DODD GasTTT. A MODERN GAZETTEER. ROOKLYN Subway—A crooked set of nice, white lines, B printed on some beautiful, blue paper in the city engineer's office. A Perfect State of Health—The capital of the United States of Happiness, Progress, and Prosperity. “Our Large, Modern Factory "Generally located in a ram- shackle, one-story building or in the brain of a promoter. The Governor’s Seat—The spot which the Governor's son, with a commendable feeling for reciprocity, would like to paddle. Oblivion — Situated at the end of Notoriety Lane and thickly populated by some of our best citizens. Editorship — A small, despotic kingdom, bounded on the north by the business office, on the south by the public demand, on the east by bum writers, and on the west by punk illustrators. Memory Street—A thor- oughfare crossing Regret Boulevard, Laughter Ave- nue, and Nevermore Square. Fame — Fleeting jour- neys through this country are frequently taken by va- rious citizens, PRANK H, WILLIAMS, LOOKING-GLASS is more useful than a microscope in searching for beauty. ers hand.”? comicbooks.com