Judge, 1909-12-25 · page 3 of 17
Judge — December 25, 1909 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page combines practical advice with satirical commentary on early 20th-century American life. **Main Content:** The top article, "How to Select Christmas Cigars" by Margaret E. Sangster, offers genuine gift-buying guidance—avoid asking husbands' preferred brands, as dealers may deceive you; choose well-made cigars of attractive shape. **Satirical Sections:** Multiple short pieces mock contemporary issues: "Fable—The Blowhard" ridicules a young man inflating his salary to impress his girlfriend. "When Congress Meets" uses repetitive verse to satirize legislative inefficiency and naval politics. "Rather Unkind" jokes about mistletoe as a marital control device. The scattered illustrations reinforce these themes—a deceived woman, a man under mistletoe, holiday-related scenarios. The overall tone treats domestic and political absurdities with light humor typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
°S iape- HOW TO SELECT CHRISTMAS CIGARS. 7p__, By Mu, Margaret E. Bangster > |e ge NOWING that many readers of the Ladies’ Home Com- € pani will desire to give their husbands a box of cigars for a Christmas present, I am going to give a few words of advice on the subject of the selection of Christmas cigars, which are especi- ally pertinent at this time. An important word at the outset: Do not go to the drug store where you know your husband habitually procures his cigars and ask for a box of his favorite brand. TI husband is tired of it. Buy him a new c Remember that the ci re man. Do not take his word on anything, as he will probs you, especially if he isa friend of your husband. ent. If the dealer recommends one cigar, buy another. were honest— ly try to Be indepe nif he hich, you may depend, he is not—your intuition on the quality of a cigar is by farasafer guide than his experience as a smoker and dealer, Choose a well-made cigar of an attractive shape. Shape is an infallible criterion of cigar quality. They may tell you that a rough cigar contains pure Havana, Do not be deceived. Cigars are made in two lengths—long and short. A safe rule is to give the long man a short cigar, and the short man a long cigar. Choose the cigar in a pretty b The box comes in handy after the quality of the cigar is forgotten. In the next issue I am going to tell how to make many useful articles from cigar boxes. Geta funcy label. A fancy label always means a good cigar. Most men, on being given a box of Christmas cigars by their wives, are so overcome by the thoughtfulness that they swear off smoking then and there. But to be sure of this result, use care in Christmas cigar selection. Follow my directions, DON KAUN. FABLE—THE BLOWHARD. NCE on a time there was a young man who made a practice of keep- ing himself solid with his best girl by telling her that his salary was about a dozen times as large as it really was. All went well until the approach of Cl itmas, when, as girls will, she began hinting about what she expected Santa Claus to bring her. Taking the young man at his own valuation, she mentioned a number of things, any one of which would have cost as much as he could earn in about six months, MORAL. A bluff is good only until it is called, JAMIS J, O'CONNELL. SLIGHTLY CHANGED. “ 'ONEY makes the mare go '’— That saying’s old enough to die; For in this modern age, you know, "Tis * Money makes the biplane fly.”” RATHER UNKIND. Ella—* 1 think it a good plan to have the mistletoe in your hair, and then you are always un¢ Stella—* Well, yes, if you can be sure as to the whereabouts of your hair. —BEWARE! The death of the tly the de: —a dor b of the woman PITY ‘TIS, ‘TIS TRUE. EVERAL bundred years ago Bards sang about the mistletoe And kiss And bliss. And every Christmas since fe their readers wince inane Effusions Like this. VALE. The last ember of the year Dec-ember. THING of beauty is always worried to death for fear she ‘Il lose it. ‘THE SUFFRAGETTE KIND. WHEN CONGRESS MEETS. HE MEMBERS come to take their seats, The town fills up with cranks and beats, idential message greets When Congress meets. The navy wants a few more fleets, Constituents want plums and sweets, And everybody cash entrents When Congress meets. The solons brim with strange con The railroads tremble at their feats, The trust that private books secretes When Congress meets. The lobbyist is on the streets, Some legislative purse repl And thus the adverse bill d When Congress meets, Some little tariff-tinker ble Some member says another cheats, Some cl ra find winding sheets When Congress meets, They fight a few small verbal heats, While mileage home the work completes; And #0 each year the tale repeats When Congress meets MC LANDAURGH WILSON, CHRISTMAS MORNING. “L wonder what fresh thing sent me that? comicbooks.com