Judge, 1909-12-11 · page 5 of 16
Judge — December 11, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon, titled "A Blind Visitor's First Impression of the Fifth Avenue (New York) of To-Day," depicts a chaotic street scene with industrial machinery, factories, and violent action. The satire critiques the transformation of Fifth Avenue—traditionally an elite residential neighborhood—into an industrial district. The "blind visitor" device allows the artist to defamiliarize the scene, suggesting that even sightless observers would recognize the dramatic and unwelcome change. The page contains several short humorous pieces below, including "Fable of the Woodpecker and the Duck" (a moral tale) and other anecdotes like "The Forgotten Department" and "The Third Claimant." These are typical Judge filler content—light social satire and observational humor rather than focused political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A BLIND VISITOR'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF ‘THE FIFTH AVENUE (NEW YORK) OF ‘TO-DAY. FABLE OF THE WOODPECKER AND THE DUCK. WOODPECKER, looking down from his high perch on a wil- low, remarked to a Duck, who was preening his feath:rs and waddling in and out of the reeds, “Tsay, what a dull-looking, unat- tractive little per- son you are—and so conceited !"" “Not conceit- ed, merely content- ed,” replied the Duck. “* How can that be,” asked the Woodpecker, “when you have neither size nor plumage to com- mend you? Now, look over there at those handsome Ducks with the green bodies and red heads—those are what I call beautiful birds!"" “That proves,”" replied the Duck, “that the only brilliant fp “ What a dull-looking, unattractive little person you are—and so conceited !"" thing about you is your topknot, and that’s on the outside. \\ If you didn't spend most of your days with your head in a hole and the rest of your time in knocking, you might have acquired sufficient discernment to know that those Ducks, which you so greatly admire, are Decoys—mere wooden things pa and green and staked out there to catch Suckers like you MORAL. There's many a clothier’s dummy wearing a dress suit and a forty-four chest. MAUHICE SWITZER, THE THIRD CLAIMANT. ANTA CLAUS lost his way one day, And arrived at an unknown 8 He rubbed his head and he pulled his beard. “Now, where in the world have I got? “For this is a terribly lonely spot, Nothing but ice around. It is a mercy I did not stumble through— I wish I were on firm ground, “« Now, who are those sleeping, strange, strange men? Ah, ha!’’ Then away he stole. “I'm the first man up in the morning, And, Eureka! I’ve found the Pole!” ed red THE FORGOTTEN DEPARTMENT. NFORTUNATELY, the corporation has grown up minus a soul, Some day a particularly bright man will discover that to tri- umph over socialism the soul will have to be restored and brought to the same perfection as the other departmente. Then conversations like this will be heard: “I figure we can pay another five per cent. by using a newly invented adulterant and putting the price up one-half cent a pound.”* “How many times have I got to tell you, Smidget, that those ideas of yours are out of date? You know perfectly well the con- science department won't stand for 'em."* AN OBSERVER. A SISCONSIN school boy contributed the following to the col- umn of school news in the local paper: “Laugh and the world laughs with you, Laugh again and you laugh alone— The first time it ia the teacher's joke, ‘The second joke is your own.”” REASON ENOUGH. Mrs. Newlywed (weeping)—"* Henry, I am sure I have grounds for a divorce! 1 am positive that you have deceived me!"* Mr. Newlywed—" What in the world do you mean? Wiat have I done to arouse such a suspicion?” Mrs, Newlywed (weeping harder)— I—I saw a memorandum in your pocket this morning to—to buy some new ribbons for your typewriter!"’ HER ove are brilliant, her cheeks aglow, ‘As she stands beneath the mistletoe, | BEFORE AND AFTER. “ Young man, do you think you can support my daugh- ter in the way she has been accustomed “Before or since ?” “* Before or since what?"* “* Before or since the panic ?”* comicbooks.com