Judge — December 4, 1909 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PREFERENCE. By John Kendrick Bangs. FIDDLE, when there's care about, Is futile, good But it is better, pas ess knows; all doubt, Than harping on your woes. THE REAL BENE- FACTOR. RMED with candy and toys, the philanthropic old gentleman mounted the rickety stairs of a dingy tenement and, with a chuckle, knocked at the door of a little cripple whose pathetic letter he had only the day before read in anewspaper. Once inside and his mission and gifts disclosed, the desti- tute family had cause for rejoicing. But it was the crippled boy in a low bed in the corner that claimed the good man’s attention; and as this youth gleefully grabbed up each bright gewgaw and useful gift, his benefactor chuckled again, “How do you like your presents 2” he finally in- quired. ** Oh, they’re bully !’" ex- claimed the elated cripple. “And whom do you thank for all these nice things 2°" next asked he, standing with legs apart and swaying with satis- faction, “The man what owns the newspaper, 0° course!" was the unexpected reply. COALS OF FIRE. EChristmas evening a Sunday school pupil ap- peared at church, only to be surrounded immediately by a number of deriding playmates, “She's wearing her sis- ter’s coat!” cried one. “And she’s got her brother's gloves on!’” said another, “* Yes,’ was the retort that turned the tide of ridi- cule, ‘and I came with my mother’s blessing.”” OT Mrs. Newlywed. THE FIRST AMERICAN SANTA CLAUS. (Cackleated WELL PREPARED. * What have you done by way of preparation for Christmas ?"* Mr. Newlywed—"* 1 told the bank cashier to send you two blank check-books.”* NEW ENGLAND LIMERICKS. E was a queer seamstress of Wrentham Who broke all her bones till she bent them. She said, when they set her, “I'll go you one better" And, breaking another, she “went’’ them. There was a rich spinster of Pride's Who read all the ‘*Mar- ried’’s and “* Died"'s When her name from each list She delightedly missed, She chuckled way down in her sides. There was a bright broker of Boston Who knew every stock he had lost on; He knew all reports Of the longs and the shorts, And the horns every bear had been tossed on. A waggish young black- smith of Walpole Would vault with a well- seasoned, tall pole; And once when he fell He apologized: ** Well, spring pole 2”? iller of Dover Would fall in love over and over. When of each he grew tired And wanted her fired, He not only cut her, he clove her. A shrewd young physician of Norwood, While others were trifling, would saw wood, On the wood that he sawed He traveled abroad, As any young mam worth a straw would, There was a young girl of Pawtucket Who bottled some beans in a bucket, Her pa couldn't throt- tle His love for the bottle, And, not knowing beans, why Pa tuck it. xYZ A CHRISTMAS TOAST. OMAN—a second thought of the Crea- tor, whose second thoughts also would seem best! comicbooks.com