Judge — December 4, 1909 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OIN’ through the pres- ents ye Editor received last year he found that he had three books from admirin’ friends and that each book had the fly leaf torn out. Ye Editor is not super- stitious or very per- tickler, but he has a kind of sneakin’ idee that them books had been used for Christ- mas presents before. Lafe Higgins says, by gravy! a feller can never tell what a wom- an will appreciate for & Christmas present. Last year he wanted to give his wife’s aunt a she has got eighty acres and no children, and so he sent down to New York to a mail order house for a set of teeth. When his wif nt tried 'em, they were four sizes too large and “ain't spoke to him or his wife nk Purdy wa vd for to be Santy Claus at the meetin’ . but he declined the honor unanimous. The last time Sunday school, they made him do tke thing yn the chimney. Hank went up on the roof and chimney about twenty feet, where he stuck fast. L to get out and somebody turned in a fire alarm. Wide Awake Hose Company had jone to a dance out in the country didn't back until six o'clock the next mornin’ to rescue lank, and then they couldn't get him out with the hook’n ladder, About noon next day somebody suggested that they send for a brick : himney down, and so they sent over to the next town and got a hut he belonged to the union and wouldn't work ona leya y, and it began to look as though nothin’ but an earthquake would help Hank any. Finally they blowed up the chimney with dynamite and knocked the roof off'n the meetin’ house nice pri nee, 1 house this yea anty for the nd come di dropped dowr He hollered like mason and tal THE MORNING AFTER. Mrs, Oldsved —"" Was your husband delighted with the Christmas gift you put on the tree for him ? Mr), Nezeweed—"* Yes, until he found out I had had it charged."* iage- CHRISTMAS NOTES FROM THE BASSWOOD “BUGLE.” By ROY K. MOULTON. and shot Hank over into the next town- ship, and he had to walk home in a bar’! with the mercury ten degrees below zero. Then the board of trustees sued him for the damage done to the meetin’ house. Lem Haskins ex- pects to present wife with a wringer and a washtub for Christmas which will Le quite a blessin’ to her, as she ain't been able to take in any washin’ since the old one’s wore out. Last year Lem’s wife pre- sented him with three presents—trip- lets, Rev. Hanks of the Hardshell church says he has heered a good deal about con- tributory negligence in lawsuits, but he never knowed really what it was till he see how his congre- gation acted when he passed the hat for the Christmas tree. Mrs. Anse Jim- key, our barber's wife, says she ex- pects to present her husband with a pair of shears this Chri mas. We hope this is 80, for then Anse can return our office shears which he has been using for about three months, Lute Bibbins wears quite expen- socks. He got five pair last Christ- mus which he figgers cost him $167.35, all told, not figgerin’ the cost of the genuine imitation briar pipes he give his wife's folks and for which he received nothin’ in return, Link Whipple says he hopes Santy will bring him some liquid refreshments this year, and 8o he is goin’ to hang up a rubber boot in- stead of his stockin’ as his stockin’ needs darnin’ and might leak some. Anyhow, the rubber boot will hold more. CHRISTMAS BELLS. How those bells with merry jingle Make our slow blood swiftly tingle ! Childhood's years are born again, Peace on Earth, Good Will towards Men