Judge, 1909-12-04 · page 20 of 48
Judge — December 4, 1909 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains multiple Christmas-themed pieces satirizing contemporary issues: **Main cartoon**: "An Expert's Opinion" mocks explorers (likely Frederick Cook and Robert Peary, who competed over North Pole discovery claims around 1908-1909). A child complains these famous explorers never mention finding Santa Claus at the North Pole, despite their detailed accounts—satirizing their self-aggrandizing expedition narratives that omitted children's actual interests. **Secondary sections** offer brief satirical commentary: - **Christmas Shoppers**: Women shop more shrewdly than men, knowing where bargains hide - **Poor Santa**: A child's pun about dying/going home ("kin I get home alive") - **A Youthful Reflection**: Girls recognize stockings are just receptacles, not magical - **Various quips**: About Christmas presents, bad boys, and family dynamics The humor targets adult pretense, gender shopping differences, and the gap between children's actual needs and adults' Christmas mythology—typical *Judge* social satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uage AN EXPERT'S OPINION. HIS CHRISTMAS DINNER CAME TAGGING AFTER. ‘lbar D, Nesbit. t Doctor Cook, Esquimaux he took, aight up to the Lb'leeve " An’ won out in the polar rac ! Idon’t care— ‘They never ast me! 1 ‘at neither one was th I've read about what each one sai An’ not a single thing I've read Has told the one thing ‘at would show T guess I know! y've told about t An’ how the Esquim e An’ pull the sledge through wind an’ sleet An’ kill some walrussuz to eat. But neither one has told a word, { Like all the stories I have he About who lives away up t An’ just has warm fur clo’es to wear, I An’ works away a-makin’ toys For good-behavin’ girls an’ It seems to me they ought to se Old Santa Claus, plain as could be. They didn’t find his little Right at the North Pole, " The earth, nor see his reindeers stand All ready for his gay com An’ ry don’t—nor Doctor ¢ Say anything about his book That has my name, an’ when I'm good, An’ when I don’t act like I should, “L's gwine ter bring yer home sompfin fer sure, honey." An’ #0 I don’t bl Theirselves right Where the North I’ About ji Nor if they found a g O* toys, all ready f eve that they got ‘They don’t tell stack They didn’t see old Santa Claus! CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS. HEN it comes the women men. By Christmas shopping. ainly ahead of the ind the women find a place whe t dream’? of a meerschaum pipe can be purchased for twenty-five cents, and ten cigars for the same amount. Moral: Be sure to let your wife shop for you. POOR SANTA. Little Johnny (as he se being left by the deli that I'm awfully s foses, kin I yet home alive !"* A YOUTHFUL REFLECTION, «¢(CXIRLS hain’t no se a8 soon enough to hold lots of thi stop hanging up their stockings."” TWO OF A KIND. Tur: Yule-log and the fi ide dreamer, CHRISTMAS MORN. sighed the fathe “ ANK heaven T there's ningg when the ch dren don't have to be called."” A Goon X-mas present is an X-bill, Tue saddest part of Christmas is that Santa Claus has no presents for the children who need them the most. and stockings go together at time, They both hang high. Bryonp all human aid is the bad boy who is not good just before Christmas. How fortunate it is that the fruit of the Christinas tree does not take long to ripen. * Bress my soul, "Rastus done kep his word ! ii