Judge, 1909-12-04 · page 15 of 48
Judge — December 4, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains two satirical pieces about Christmas modernization: **"Christmas Modernized"** (by Henry James) mocks a wealthy miser who, learning that humans can now fly, abandons traditional sleigh-based gift-giving for a high-tech "flying ship." The satire criticizes how modern technology enables the rich to maintain selfish habits more efficiently—he'll drop gifts without stopping at houses, avoiding actual human contact. **"Their First Christmas"** depicts newlyweds where the wife gives her husband a cheap necktie (a disappointingly practical gift). His comment that she's "like mother in one respect" suggests wives, like mothers, give utilitarian rather than romantic gifts. The closing couplet—"Household Expenses" being love's worst burden—suggests marriage's financial realities undermine romance. Both pieces satirize how commercialism and practicality corrupt Christmas ideals. The era's anxiety about modernity replacing tradition and sentiment with efficiency and materialism runs throughout.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE MISER. CHRISTMAS MODERNIZED. By Henry James ex of the will snowy gtlid by valleys wide, as such used to do. No more will it picture th prancing deer in their harne gay. We dreamed these thi but they passed away, and a later tru rin the distant jar lights heat fierce eon a berg +, is forming a different plan. aus heard how men could fly, he said to himself with a doleful sigh, ** If mortals can do it, why, so must J, and it's time that the work began."? thus he’s scheming to take a trip from out the North on a flying ship, to cleave the air at a rattling clip, nor carry a deer alone. Whatever demand is made by style, he wants to keep up with it all the while; he has in his make-up a streak of guile and a pride almost too strong. With 3 and sweets he will load a craft, designed on the lines of a winged raft, with gifts in front and some more abaft, a plenty for all the k At never a house will he make a stop, but, skim- sleigh, dream This ye arctic min rewxaws and jimeracks We at the chimacy top, will let the drop, while sleep seals baby lids, Old Saint of the beard and ruddy nc season it froze—of a Cook or a Peary equipment of clothes, you'd better go slow at first. Look out for the steeples grim and high, for wireless messages flitting by, for wandering shapes in the dark- ling sky, and think of balloons that burst, Fight shy of the swish of the comet's tail that lashes space il, cach grain of its dust as big as hail—beware of that Look out for the serapers that touch the cloud, prep , “No tramps allowed,’ for two are sufficient to nd lead to disastrous jars. and of dreams odd things are done, and joys are fo pr less of fun, for many dred the color recalls. the THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS. Mr, Newlywed (looking, at the red, white, and blue necktie his wife bad put on the tree for him)—‘* Well, dearie, you are like mother in one respect.’ to give.” In wh pu give the same kind of ties that she used Or all sad things true love dispenses, ‘The worst is thia: Houschold Expenses. THE CHRISTMAS PARADE, comicbooks.com