Judge — November 20, 1909 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sean Pam Dom Panam Paton soa * Pe ucpe. SHEAR NONSENSE. A MODERN LOCHINVAR. JACOB 5 H, young Lochinvar has come |‘‘I used to court Gladys, you gave me out of the West, the sack— In all the wide country his|I went away vowing I'd never come hip is best. back. To save his good dollars, But now, passing by, I've just dropped he chauffeur had none; in to lunch, He rode unafraid, and he To dance but one two-step, drink one | is a beverage of the highest quality and purity and is rich 5. qoteall alone: celery lass of punch. in the food elements derived from barley—malt. Scien- $o plucky his light and so clever his There are maidens in Denver, more tihe'ftetilization in’ maintained at every Gage of brewine car- wealthy by far, alone m of brewi Have ye e’er heard of Smarty like young Who would gladly be bride to the young nd bottling. The answer to the beer question is Drink Lochinvar? | Lochinvar." He stayed not for wind and he stopped One wink of his eye and one word in hei BOTTLED AT THE BREWERY not for rain, ear Third Avenue, 90th to 92nd Street He flew straight along in his aero-/When they reache | the hall door, for his NEW YORK lane. airship was near, Chas Ro SIO Albin Bat ere he alighted at Rocks-by-the-|Right into the craft the fair Indy he ; seed sr Us Foe Fed ancl Oran Act: Jena 30, 1906 Sea, | “swung, His girl had consented another's to Right into the small seat beside her he be. sprung! For a man with a ninety h.-p. touring) **Let her go! We are off!" over tree-, car | ‘top and sear; Was to wed the fair Gladys of brave|“I’ll be hanged if they follow!" cried Lochinvar. | young Lochinvar. Then boldly he entered the pink onyx|There was hustling and bustling at hall, Rocks-by-the-Sea! | "Mong climbers and waiters and family | Guests, bridesmaids, and ushers were and all. mad as could be, | That Then spoke the bride's father, “My |There was racing and chasing and yell- word! Well, V say!” ing like mad, he = £2 (For the poor craven bridegroom just|There was weeping by mother and Mi atis ies faded away.) | swearing by dad, “Did you come for a match to light your While away overhead, like a luminous cigar, sta jochinvar. y} —Carolyn Wells in Harper's Magazine. iv POETICAL, Y y 3) Beet Y Y College student—‘Roses are red, violets are blue; send me ten dollars and UNG i, I'll think of you."” .o4 ee Loving father—*Some roses are red, others are pink; inclosed find ten dol- YY 2 (UN y lars, I don’t think !""—Red Hen. UA, 2 Mi Y, _ : EGGCITING. : ir, Or to dance at our bridal, young Lord | Shone the light on the airship of young Lochinvar?” | A REMARKABLE WILL. Professor—* You say they contested the will of the deceased 2” Student—" Yes, sir ; and the court held that he was suffering from halluci- nations."* | Professor —* On what grounds 2" Shident—* It appears that he left three-fourths of his property to his mother- intaw.""—University of Minnesota Minnehaha, aa a Club Cocktails 1 GG A Bor TLED DELIGHT Preceded by a delicious, appetizing Club Cocktail, the enjoyment of your “Thanksgiving dinner is increased ten-fold. Club Cocktails are an expert blend of rare old liquors, measure-mixed to exact proportions, then aged to a wonderful mellowness. Serve Club Cocktails on Thanksgiving Day and always. They're infinitely better than the made-by-guesswork kind. Just chill with cracked ice and serve. MARTINI Martini (gin base) and Manhattan F (whiskey base) are the most popular. At all Good Dealers. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Sole Proprietors HARTFORD, CONN. New York Suid a man, ‘Now there’s no use denying That yon hen is a creature most trying; She will cackle and yell So that IT cannot tell Whether she's laying or lying!" —Red Hen. ‘THE BARBER HAS HIS ‘TROUBLES. The barber (to customer whose hair is standing on end as he reads)—** Would you mind leaving that murder, sir, while I°m our hair?” —London Sketch.