Judge, 1909-10-23 · page 7 of 16
Judge — October 23, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Yarns of Captain Fibb"** is a tall tale comic strip mocking exaggerated seafaring stories. The con man jumps overboard, miraculously survives by finding a transatlantic cable, receives a telegram about an inheritance from Sweden, and becomes wealthy—absurd coincidences piled together to satirize implausible adventure narratives popular in the era. **"Just One More Kiss"** presents a crude farce: a father mistakenly kisses an elderly woman instead of his daughter goodbye at the train station, getting attacked with an umbrella. The humor relies on mistaken identity and physical comedy. The remaining short pieces—"Mint Sauce," "Might Be Contagious," and "Between Mouthfuls"—are brief observational jokes about everyday situations: artistic temperament, a nurse's confusion about contagious diseases, and dinner conversation. The humor is predominantly slapstick and situational rather than political, reflecting Judge's general satirical approach to American social life and character types of the period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uae THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. 1. “Yep, 1 wuz clean tired of life. Nothin’ but slavin’ and drudgin’ on a tramp lugger as a common seaman before the mast, and with nary cent to me name wuz enuff to drive anybody to suicide. — all 2. ——So I sez to meself, sez 1, ‘1M end it and with that [jumps overboard — Bing! like a shot 1 goes down, and Hands at the bott Ir clickin’ sound, and then I sees the great Atlant cable at me feet | — 5. —— You bet I 4, —— Well, there wuz a leak in that cable, as I could go—and and knowin’ somethin? about the cable code puts me ear to it. Ding bust me dead lights if that message wuzn't on its way to me home in Indiany fer me! Boys, it said that an old uncle of mine died in Stockholm and left all his fortune to me! — JUST ONE MORE KISS. PIOUS old citizen of Utica went to the train the other da: i with his daughter, who was leaving for college. Securing her a seat in the car, he passed out and went around to the car window to say a parting word. While he was passing out, the daughter left her seat to speak to a girl friend in the rear of the car, and at the same time a grim old maid slipped into the vacated seat and moved up to the window. Unaware of the important 2, change, the old man hurriedly put RS) his head up to the window and said, “= “One more sweet kiss, pet!’” ¢ In another instant the point of a cotton umbrella was thrust from the window, followed by the wrathful injunction, “ Scat, you i gray-headed wretch !"" He scatted, MINT SAUCE, GEE WHIZ! FROM AN ARTIST WHAT HEAPS OF ABUSE, WHEN THE TREASURY HAS FOR INITIALS NO USE! “0. @. D.!C.0.0.!" HE SIGNALS ANEW, AS HIS FOND V.0.B. IS EFFACED P.0.Q.! BUT WHY IS HIS BARGAIN SO TERRI- BLY BAD, WITH MILLIONS NOW COINED AND EACH PENNY HIS AD? NO, LET HIM NOT BLUSTER, NOR BIT- TERLY CALL THIS FATE THE ONE CUT MOST UNKIND- EST OF ALL! {. ANDERSON, saw me and threw me a life preserver! — 6, —And when I gits aboard I buys the boat on tick, sails right fer Stockholm, ar lects me money and pays the captain fer the ship and gives the boys a reg'lar fine blow-out !” es arter that ship as fast wuz a lucky thing they MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS A YOUNG matron of Baltimore, upon entering her nursery, found her youngest in tears. “* Why, what’s the matter with Harry?"’ she asked the nurse. “He's mad, mum,” explained nurse, ‘because 1 wouldn't let him sro to the Simmonses across the strat ** And why wouldn't you let him go, Norah? ** Because, mum, they're having charades, so he said, an’ I wasn't sure whether he had had them or not,"" HFULS. k's book will be about ? I should yu BETWEE MOU I wonder what Principally about ice Miss Rronx— Mr. Harlem—