Judge, 1909-10-02 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 2, 1909 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical items typical of Judge's format: **"The Horse Trade"** cartoon mocks a dishonest transaction—the dealer warns a buyer won't be "stuck" on the horse, but will be if he purchases it (a pun on the horse being defective). **Recipe sections** parody advice columns with absurd "recipes"—one for infant food involving excessive lime water and stirring oneself "black in the face," another matrimonial recipe suggesting couples subsist on homemade items. **"A Confession"** is a humorous poem with deliberately omitted rhyming words (marked by dashes), playing on reader expectation of impropriety while actually describing innocent moments with someone named Prue. **"The Poor Dog"** is sentimental verse about a dog's loyalty. **"As They Left Washington"** jokes about congressmen dreading post-vacation constituent complaints about their tariff votes—satirizing the gap between political promises and difficult legislative realities. The page reflects Judge's mix of political commentary, domestic humor, and satirical verse aimed at educated readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE HORSE TRADE. “TL ean't say 1m stuck on him “You will be if you buy him, sir!” TO PREPARE INFANTS’ FOOD. IX ONE pint of Dope Digesto, one ounce of cream, three quarts of pounded brown bread, one gill of es- sence of buttermilk, two teaspoonfuls of top-milk, ‘ four gallons of water and one tablespoonful of lime water. Cook on a hot stove until you reach boiling point, stir yourself black in the face, cool gradually in sterilized spoons by moving gently up and down or around the block. MATRIMONIAL RECIPE. Knicker—* Can a couple live on bread and cheese and kisses?” Bocker—* They can, provided the kisses are home-made and the bread isn’t. E WOULDN'T mind the man who tells us about his ail- ments if he ‘d take our remedies. THE POOR DOG. “1 can follow on a run, a high jump of a swim, But when my master quits the earth I say good-by to him.” A CONFESSION.* HE WAS not mine—I knew it well ! And yet so wondrous was her spell That, though he'd won and I had missed her, I caught her in the dark and — her! Nor was that all! 1 must confess The limit of my wickedness; That done, in both my arms I seized her And then and there, bearlike, I —— her! And she? Dost think she turned away And bade me cease such amorous play? Not she! She neither pushed nor shoved me, But tremblingly declared she — me! And hence it was we twain eloped. I'd won a prize I'd never hoped To win; but Cupid onward sped me, And ere the morn fair Prue had—— me! + CARLYLE murtu. * Missing rhymes not fit to print will be furnished on application by wire- Jess. Eprron. AS THEY LEFT WASHINGTON. Firat congressman—* Do you expect to have a pleas- a>t vacation?" Second congreasman—'* No; Ihave about fifteen hun- dred constituents to whom I will have to explain my vote on the tariff.””