Judge — October 2, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH MY NORTH POLE. ROFESSOR COOK was the big King Cole, Till Peary pyts him in the hole And says his doggie dogs he stole— Oh, you can’t play with my North Pole! The war is on, the kettle boils, They're bound to make good for their toils; But jealousy the record spoils, And each the other’s friends embroils. The Pole is there, they both agree; But who is gaing up to see? It won't be you, it won't be me, To sail up in the polar sea! I'd rather lecture on the Pole And let the public pay the toll; Or write a book and tell the whole— How you can't play with my North Pole! A LOYAL SUPPORTER. “I'm sick and tired of being bossed around all day by an ! I've got some money saved up and I'm going to be inde- t hy starting in business for myself. I propose She—* Now I like the stand you've taken, Harry; it certainly shows your manliness in striking out for yourself. As for your proposal, I accept. When are we to be married?’ WHY HE CRIED. 66QYJHY ARE you crying, Johnny?” “We was playing train and I was the engine. “Yes?” ** And pa comed in and switched me."" SPEED LAW SUSPENDED. Automobilious—“ 1s the automobile law enforced in this place” Cop—* Not at present, It has been tempomrily suspended.” Automobitiows—"* Indeed! Why ?* Cop—* Me watch is at the repair shoy !"” REFLECTIONS OF UNCLE EZRA. (OU HEAR a whole lot about joy. these days, but the only real joy-ride is the one you take ona steamboat when all of your wife's folks get seasick. Miss Violet Teeter expects to announce her en- agement to a prominent young society man from New York as soon as she finds out his name. He was through here two weeks acted like ready foney. After Hank Purdy saves up 1,987,538 more tobacker cou- pons, he is. goin’ to git a pianner, and probably he will git it in time for his great-grandchildren to play on. It ms as though-the hypotenuse is an animile whose only use in this world is to make life interestin’ for circus managers and expresidents. The feller that bets his money qa another feller’s game ain't half the fool that the feller is that bets his money on his own game when he ain't got any. Speech may be silver and silence may be golden, but the -.. Phonograph is counterfeit, especially if it is owned by your neighbor in the next flat. ROY K, MDULTON, sellin’ silver mine stock, “See how 's th’ the “T's shtopped. Sure ‘tis th? same as "t waz wan hou: VERSATILE DOLLY MADISON. (Dolly Madiaon was famous for her beauty, #1 er Iwen given due ereslit for her nt the invention of iee-eream, ~ Bath IH, CHARMING Dolly Madi- son, So winsome and so gay! The debt of thanks we owe to her, How can we ever pay? With her no queen could eer compare In wisdom, charm and grace; ‘Though White House dames may come and go, Her fame still grows apace. Social soft soap and taffy, both We knew were her creation; But now, it seems, with ice-cream, too, Our Dolly blessed the nation! WILL & ctw THE NEW CLERK'S REPLY. Grocer's patron—* How are your egys ing this morning 2”" New clerk (formerly employed in book- shop) ‘! They 're one of the six best sellers this morning, ma’am.”* A PRETTY girl with an innocent face can fool a lot of people. CAUSE OF REJOICING Deacon Janes—Surely the world is growing better. See how happy the children are that school has started again.” Kids—"* Hurrah! ‘The school house bas burned down."” comicbooks.com