Judge, 1909-10-02 · page 13 of 16
Judge — October 2, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple satirical pieces plus a Bell Telephone advertisement disguised as public interest content. **"The Ruling Passion"** mocks a dying newspaper editor who, despite being critically ill, denies he's losing circulation—a pun playing on both bodily circulation and newspaper readership. The satire targets professional vanity. **"The Vampire Hat"** is a humorous poem about a woman who squeezes an enormous, bat-shaped hat into her tiny apartment, damaging herself and her husband's patience in the process. The satire critiques women's fashion obsession and impracticality, a common Judge theme. **"In The Public Service"** is essentially advertising masquerading as editorial content, praising Bell Telephone's infrastructure by claiming it enables the President to stay connected while traveling. This is early 20th-century corporate propaganda presenting monopoly infrastructure as patriotic necessity. The page reflects Judge's characteristic blend of humor, social commentary about gender and vanity, and advertiser-friendly content promoting new technology as inevitable progress.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE RULING PASSION. The editor was dying, says an ex- change, but when the doctor bent over, placed his ear on his breast and said, fpoor man! Circulation almost gone!”* the dying editor sat up and shouted, “You're « liar! We have the largest circulation in the country !""—Atlanta Constitute. “ WELL The builder (to the new foreman) Where are all the hands” “Sure, I've sacked ‘em all, to shaw "em I right? The foreman who's foreman now.” THE VAMPIRE HAT. Wi mien ty Rudyard nd she bought a hat, Even as you and I! And the crown was di was flat ‘Twas smothe a | and the brim 1 in onions and things + top perched ampire bat, utton for an eye. With a anned, son where affair, u probably understand ! Now she lived in a suite, oh, trés . as you and 1, With everything, up to date and neat, Electric lighting: and steam for heat; But the width of the was scant two eet! We know them, you and I. Ob, the toil it cost and the sleep she . lost And the wonderful schemes she Planned To et that Paris creation i i her tiny flat was a erying sin! dif | should tell you, you wouldn't begin 0 re ly understand, Sufficient to say that, Woman, she did it.) being a BEGUN." In The Public Service A SUCCESSFUL CAMPAIGN. Mr. Green—*Now I'm going to tell you something, Ethel. Do you know that last night, at your party, your sis- ter promised to marry me? I hope you'll forgive me for taking her away.” Little Ethel—*Forgive you, Mr. Green! Of course I will. Why, that’s what the party was for!™—T¥¢ Bits The President of the United States works for 80,000,000 people all the time. He needs rest and change to keep him fit for his work, and yct he cannot neglect his official duties, he must always be within reach, When Washington was president he rode his horse as far as Mount Vernon and kept in touch by messenger with the affairs of state. The President to-day has a wider range and can seek the cool- ing breezes of the New England coast. The tong distance telephone keeps him in constant communication with the capital and the nation. The railroad will carry him back to Washington ina day, but usually he need not make even this brief journey. The Bell telephone enables him to send his of a nation. “ Well, Tim, getting — London Skutch, ling.) irl had a husband, slim and Now th all, as you girls could! n-he came home he heard her And he found her wedged in the narrow hall Between the hat and the plastery wa And she couldn't s id and she couldn't fall, And she And it wasn’t the shame and it wasn’t the pain ‘That burnt like a white-hot brand ; "Twas the language that her husband threw At that vampire hat with its bows of blue— His remarks I'll not repeat to you. You wouldn't understand! Did the girl discard that vampire hat? Not on your royal life! She bought another worse than that And added a foot to the height of her rat, man must be trained to things like that That's the mission of a wife! —William Cary Duncan in Good House- keeping. For a Ilustrations by James Montgomery Flagg In answering advertisements please mention Juncr. It will be appreciated. Enjoy a Personally Conducted voice instead, not only to Washington but to any other point. The Bell system performs this service not only for the President, but for the whole public, This system has been built up so gradually and extended so quictly that busy men hardly realize its magnitude or appreciate its full value. Forty thousand cities, towns and vile lages are connected by the Bell system, which serves all the people all the time, The Bell telephone has become the implement It increases the sum total of | human efficiency, and makes every hour of the day more valuable to busy men and women. The highest type of public service can be achieved only by one policy, one system, universal service. The American Telephone and Telegraph Company And Associated Companies Every Bell Telephone is The Center of the System If You Haven't Read Nervy Nat’s Adventures you've missed a good share of life's fun. He insists upon getting into scrapes. Can't help himself. And you're glad he can't, for it’s a pile of fun to wetch his maneu- vers. He laughs his way into your affections by his colossal nerve. 85c Postpaid Leslie- Judge Company 225 Fifth Ave, New York comicbooks.com