Judge, 1909-09-25 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 25, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces from Judge magazine: **"The Yarns of Captain Fibb"** is a tall-tale comic strip mocking exaggerated seafaring adventure stories. Captain Fibb spins an absurd narrative about searching for Captain Kidd's treasure, encountering a witch on a broomstick, falling through clouds, and miraculously landing atop buried treasure—satirizing the implausible adventure yarns popular in period fiction. **"Their Wedding Journey"** uses repetition to humorously comment on industrial progress interrupting romantic travel. A newlywed couple repeatedly tries viewing natural scenery—lakes, rivers, Niagara Falls—but freight trains constantly obstruct their view. The irony: they remain happy because love transcends these modern intrusions. This gently critiques how railroads fragment the American landscape. **"Opportunity Speaks"** features a poem contrasting Democracy's aggressive tactics (jimmying locks, shooting through panels) with Opportunity's single knock, satirizing political corruption. The final vignette shows working-class Irish characters (indicated by dialect), likely satirizing immigrant laborers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. . * It's a queer yam, We wuz on an expedition to the West Indies to search fer Cap- tain Kidd’s treasure, and we ’d been searchin’ fer six months and found nary a smell of treasure, when one day I got separated from the rest of the company, and suddenly an old woman with a broom comes up to me.— 4. —— when suddenly a blast of wind from old Roreas himself blows the cloud from under me, and ag’in I finds meself a-yin’ through space! — 2. —— ‘Come along with me," sez she, ‘and I'll show you where the treasure fs," sez she, and with that she whisks me up on the broom behind her, and we shoots up inter the clouds! Well, lads, 1 hung on fer dear life, but bimeby I could: n't hold on no longer, and I slips off, and we two five miles up in the air! — 3. —— Down I drops like a lump of lead, but arter a while I lands on something soft and I’ sees i . And there I sits, despairin’-like, how 1 wuz ever a-goin’ to git off 5. —— And I falls {so far and lands on the earth so hard that I makes a hole in the ground about ten feet deep; — 6. —and, would you believe i bottom of that hole is the chest of ‘1 we ‘d bin a-searchin’ fer six months! Y sands and thousands of dollars’ worth ! THEIR WEDDING JOURNEY. ‘0: SEE that beautiful view!"’ he cried; And a freight car came between. “Such a dear little lake, here on this side! And a freight car came between. They crossed great rivers and strove to look, But a freight car came between. They glanced at many a woody nook, OPPORTUNITY SPEAKS. UT ONCE and once only I knock at each door; If barred from admit- tance, I come never more. If eating or sleeping C77, From hunger or SHC FPN \2d|] 1 take no excuses pe MH Y And never come back. Democracy calling, But once did I knock; But in that case, further, 1 jimmy the lock. Lalso try kicking To rouse her with din, And shoot through the panels, And kick the door in. MCLANDBURGH. WILSON. MAN can wear an electric belt and still have no personal magnetism about him. But a freight car came between. They gazed at Niagara, passing by, Till a freight car came between. They caught a glimpse of a mountain high, But a freight car came between, Ard yet they were happy all the way, With every scene unseen, For love went with them all the day And nothing could come between, nei tea, BEGINNING AT THE TOP. O' Toole—* Vhat be yez doin’ up there, Mrs. Ri Riley— Howldin’ the poipe shtidy till me ould mar