Judge, 1909-09-25 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 25, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces: **"Judge" (top cartoon):** A dining scene where someone declares "I DO LIKE A LOBSTER," apparently judging the meal or companion. The joke's specifics are unclear without additional context. **"Oysters" (left column):** Educational satire about oyster behavior and consumption. It describes oysters as "confirmed invalids" living in beds, notes they're popular at fashionable hotels and restaurants, and includes commentary on oyster social habits—they allegedly enjoy "ring-around-a-rosy" games. The humor appears to anthropomorphize oysters as upper-class society members. **"All Profit!" and "A Stray Shot" (right side):** Brief satirical pieces about a young man profiting from a hennery using expensive feed, and a shooting incident. These are minor jokes rather than substantive social commentary. The page emphasizes lifestyle satire typical of Judge magazine's upper-class humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
& © ee TRERCS “T DO LIKE A LOBSTER.” OYSTERS. Y)~UST like confirmed invalids, oysters ~ spend their lives in beds, The principal parts of an oyster are salt water and a handsome stomach, Every oyster has a mother-of-pearl lined overcoat with the moss on the out- side. But a Waldorf-Astoria oyster gath- ers no moss. Oysters, as a rule, keep their mouths shut ; but when they have been in society too long they begin to gape. They are fond of playing games, one of their favorites being ring-around-a- rosy. In this game they join shells in a circle on aplate. They live in the ocean in summer, and during the winter months frequent the principal hotels and restaurants, where they have reserved seats on cakes of ice specially prepared for them. They are rarely met with at huskings or church fairs. An oyster is a conchologist by nature, a bivalve by profession, and an appetizer because he cannot help himself. There are girl oysters as well as men oysters, but so far as is known, one is not superior to the other. Oysters vary in size according to their circumstances and their bringing up. Some are harder to swallow than others. There is no particular rule about this. But if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. In June the oysters ought to be as rare as the days. THOMAS L. MasBON. ALL PROFIT. 66Q7OUNG BINKS is running a profitable hennery of thoroughbreds on his dad's million-dollar farm.”" “Yes, He has the feed charged to his father, their housekeeper buys the eggs ut a fancy price for the Binks table, and young Binks is the biggest egg consumer in the family.”” “ABDUL THE UNLUCKY.” F ONE poor man in U. S. A. Has got a second wit The neighbors and the papers say, “He leads a double life.”” Abdul, Sultan of Turkey, had More than a thousand wives, So with them all he led, bedad! Five hundred double lives. Rw. 8. A STRAY SHOT. “ (Hic) That ball must be froze.’ comicbooks.com