Judge — September 25, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t Ol'phant Alley'’s come to our house to stay An’ drive the motor-car ‘at father bought the other day, An’ keep it bright an’ clean, an’ turn the handles roun" t buzz, an’ see as all the wheels is on the en, when Alley’s had his run, We set roun’ the coach, us five, an’ has the mostest fun A-list’nin’ to the ‘citin’ tales ‘at Alley tells about, Of the motor-cars ‘at gits you Ef Onet they was a bad man, he used to say some swears, An’ when he went out walkin’, he'd put on awful airs. At cyclists 1 hear him holle an’ bad names he used to call, But when a motor runned the critterdown, they was nothin’ left at all. An’ they seeked him in among the works, an \ An’ seeked him up an’ down the road, an’ e An’ all they ever found was thist his pants an” roun’ An the motor-car'll git you Ef You Don't Watch Out. NOTES FROM THE BASSWOOD BUGLE. ISS ANASTASIA BUTTS, our poetess M on, has given up her job of epithets for the tombstone works, bee she has got tired of perjurin’ herself about the good qualiti of the late lamented of thia village, and has accepted a lucrative position with a ~ubout ; patent-medicine concern, Constable Bibbs says that disturbin’ of the peace has got to stop in this villag and he has #4 all the instruments the Basswood Silver Cornet Band. Th band expected to play at the county fair here, but the committee wanted a good crowd and put the constable up to the trick. Unele Ezra Hudnutt, who had his picture in the paper for takin’ Long Life dunnin’ letters from Western points where he used to re: ays fame has its drawbacks, all right. Hod Prentiss has received weleome news from the West. His cousin Jim, who was not expected to live, has now got a chance, The Governor of the State has granted him a reprieve. William J) as returned from a trip around New York State visitin’ his brot! Among, the points visited were Auburn, Mat- teawan and Sing Sing. Grandma Perki her hair and gettin’ a Doe. Binks, the ide. He is helpin’ make the village beautiful by dyin’ of teeth, Let the improvements go on! nary surgeon, ha: Amos Hilli- © and says sufferin’ from different com- but Amos says Doc is a liar, as the only complaint he has is that Sam Tilden wasn't elected Presi- dent, Lafe Teeter, our dentist, is engaged in pullin’ stumps on Anse Judson's west eighty and expects to get it clearedoff by fall, when he will resume hisreg is year as he has < formerly. A good many of them come, ut refuse to stay. hoy K. MOULTON, ONE OF THE B 1] Officer Hl Recruit uape- OL'PHANT ALLEY'S MOTOR.-CAR. (With apoleaties to James Whitcomb Riley.) ne time a silly cyclist ‘ud allus larf an’ grin, fun of motor-cars ‘at ‘ud stop workin’; t when goin’ in company, an’ his gal was ther, id he'd race 'ein and could show ‘em how to tear, thist as he larfed, he hadn't time to warn y was @ great steam-car skooshed aroun’ the corner, An’ it squashed them two in bits ‘fore they knowed whut was about, An’ the motor-e r'll git you i You Don't Watch Out. is lookin’ blue, An’ Ol'phant Alley says, when thing: An’ we’ vlin’ tired an’ can’t find anythin’ to do, An’ we can’t go playin’ baseball, ‘cause the ball it burst to-day, We ‘ud better stay inside the gates an’ not go out to p) d better mind ourselves if we want to live on here, » car drivers has more nor enough to make them fear, ad an’ dancin’ all about, it us Ef We Don't Watch Out ! AN ADVERTISEMENT. YOUNG man of impressive personality and only a few bad habi cently graduated from a leading university, would like a position as son-in-law to wealthy old gentleman. Has had considerable experience as a fiancé, but is in the main a home love though fond of travel. No guarantee of lady required, but father- in-law's standing in financial world must be thoroughly well estab- lished. No triflers need apply. Ph. D. Quinceton, Gazoo Oflice, New York City. Or his motor-car'll gazi sun. | elim mul cou! heat | who Iasse that | of p poke the don't ut, a coi to th Evan gular van timp es a | ante val that tant s would near hands tongs | away up to playir | coarse } able t 2 fees | and th and Ei ing to HELPING A FRIEND IN TROUBLE. ive us a lift, will you?” comichooks.