Judge — August 28, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x10 ew! PEOPLE - “Trannot tell how, the truth may be J aty the tale as “twas told to m HUMOR OF THE COLLEGE CLASS-ROOM.| In the evening of the same day Dr. \VEI GILBERT, the versatile Hale attended a social function. It so editor of the Western Chris- happened that a young lady who had tian Advocate, tells, in a caught sight of the doctor taiking to the recent issue of his paper, pitcher as she was returning home in some interesting reminis- the afternoon sat next {to Dr. Hale at cences of college life when the dinner table. ‘*By the way,’ she he was a student at old remarked, ‘I saw you to-day talking to Wesleyan. {the hero of the gam “‘Asone approaches Mid-| ‘What position did he play?"" asked dletown by river a big 0 “but I building looms up in sight | “Tm not sure, said Dr. Hale, ‘on the hill, and many a luckless lad be-| think he was a batter."” sides ourselves has asked whether that| IN THE WRONG CHURCH—AND PEW. were Wesleyan University, only to be) Daniel O'Reilly, the attorney who was informed that it was the insane asylum, | prominent throughout the Thaw trial, and that he might land there later."” | was eloquel oui Mahe might s eloquently arguing a case in the In Dr, Gilbert's day Wesleyan was West Side court ‘in New York, when not much like the Wesleyan to-day. | Magistrate Wahle interrupted him with Says the doctor, “There were no sui no window-seats, no davenports piled | high with pillows, no banners and pen-| ‘Turning, the crowd saw one of the nants on the walls, no lavatories nor prison keepers carrying a lighted lan- bathrooms, no registers nor steam heat, tern dowa the aisle. no gas nor electric lights, The rooms «Yes, that's. Diogenes, all right,”” were bare of all ornament, the desks O'Reilly replied; ‘but he won't find the were simply plain tables, and the mat- man that he is looking for in a court tresses on the beds were made out of the hardest kind of corn husks. (Howe r when one had worn down in them sui _, PEBNTY OF TIME: abledepressions for his hips and shoul- Joaquin Miller, according to a story ders, he sighed neither for curled hair printed in the Philadelphia Record, was nor an Ostermoor felt!)'? once overtaken by a countryman, who the question: “Is this Diogenes?”” At that time ‘*Prexy"? Cummi gave him a long ride. Tired at length atthe head of Wesleyan. Of ‘Prexy’? of conversation, the poet took a novel in the class-room Dr. Gilbert tells the from his pocket, following, story | “What are you reading?" said the “Once, we remember, when we were countryman, reciting in Butler's: Analogy, ‘Prexy’ ‘A novel of Bret Har called upon a member of the class who Miller. was just a little wild, and who also ‘*Well, now, I don’t s er too frequently flunked, mortal being wants to “'Mr. T.,’ he said, in squeaking tones, | time with such stuff.’” ‘paes on to (looking down into the book | ‘Are you quite sure, for the next topic)--The Future Life,’ “that | am an immortal be lot prepared!’ very promptly and) ‘‘Of course you are, significantly answered T., to the amuse-| _‘‘If that’s the case, "" responded Miller, ment of us all,’ |*E don’t see why I need be so very | economical of my time."* 's,"" suid Mr. how an im- > wasting his * suid the poet, A CHARACTER READER. Years ago—before he was as famous as he is to-day—Bernard Shaw met a young lady at a dinner party who said that’ she “eould ‘ead charseter: from silibiubridehnlicialipebiaba writing. | Inwriting an article on “Aeroplane Mr. Shaw denied belief in her powers, for the London Daily Mail, Mr. H and said that at any rate she could not Wells had occasion to remark: ‘Within read characters from typewriting. a year we shall have aeroplanes capable Now it happened that the host had of starting from Calais circling over just got a typewriter, and the young London, dropping a hundredweight or lady offered to be put to the test. so of explosive upon the printing ma- The machine was brought, and Mr, chines of the Daily Mail and returning Shaw, picking out the letters one by one, Stcurely to Calais for another similar! wrote his first name. Then he discov- parcel.”” ered that he had used only capital Shortly after the article was printed letters; so shifting to the lower case, 2 friend of Mr. Wells on a rival daily in he wrote his last name. London cut out this paragraph and sent Then he handed the result to his com- it to its author with the following note Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the bent remedy for their chiklren, a bottle, panion, This was what she read:, ‘This seems a long time to wait.”’ “BERNARD shaw." ‘It's as plain as anything, he said with asmile, ‘It A “LITTLE EGG" STORY. 's your idea that, though there are ® A crowd of college-bred women were good many Shaws in the world, they are telling children’s stories the other ufter- an undistinguished lot. You alone are noon in the dining-room of one of the Hernard Shaw, and your name is great.”” New York hotels. HH id to have been told by Josephine Daskam Bacon, the author of so many delightful 8 one NEW POSITION ON THE NINE. The late Edward Everett Hale wasone stories of childhood. of the most beloved men in America, ‘*Four-year-old Virigina was fi bat evidently he was not much of a quently allowed by her mother to make baseball One time in Washington tiny loaves of bread from the little he was prevailed upon to attend ‘the scraps of dough left from the morning's Breat American game’ by an enthusi- baking. One morning she was sent to Attic friend of the diamond. After the gather the eggs. Running in with a fame he was introduced to the pitcher very tiny one she exclaimed, ‘Oh, of the successful nine—the hero of the mamma! sce this little egg; it must be day, that’s all the dough the hen had left.’"” “age. In answering advertisements please mention Junce. 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The “lovely” cows were ad- mired, the soft" sh Allittle miss of five who had no broth- “cunning” and th ers and who did not like the boys at little pigs. turning to the guide, school who teased her, especially a boy she exclaimed abruptly, * And now you named John, remarked at home, “I wish ally must show me ‘the cute little John was my boy. Do you know, if he minces! belonged to me I'd lick him whether he “The cute little what, mum?” needed it or not ‘EX PEDE HERCULEM.” their feet Come on, Billy! yer ean —London Shetch. Guttersnipe— “A cake of prevention is worth a box of cure.” Don’t wait until the mischief’s done before using Pears’ Soap. There's no preventive so good as Pears’ Soap. Established in 1780. PEARS’ It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com