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Judge, 1909-08-28 · page 11 of 16

Judge — August 28, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

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Judge — August 28, 1909 — page 11: Judge, 1909-08-28

What you’re looking at

This page combines etiquette advice with advertising. The main content is "Judge's Women's Department," where an advice columnist (Mr. Hok, editor of "The Perfect Ladies' Companion") addresses reader questions about proper behavior. The satire targets genteel Victorian etiquette through exaggerated scenarios. One piece mocks excessive propriety by advising against arm-taking, suggesting readers dye their poodles rather than bleach hair to match them, and recommending hymn books as birthday gifts. Another humorously addresses a woman who violently assaulted a neighbor complaining about her piano practice—the columnist advises she should have simply ignored him rather than grabbing his hair and slamming his head on keys, as this might "injure the piano." The engagement announcement section satirizes women's social networks by suggesting they announce engagements as "confidential secrets" spread through gossip rather than formal notices—cheaper and equally effective. The page also features product advertisements, including Kingsford's Corn Starch and Packer's Tar Soap, typical of early-20th-century magazine content.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For the benefit of our women readers in ae have entered into an arrangement with the Mc Hik Hok. Any perfect lady among our cay gv in perfect aliice of comfort, as the case may demand. the myriad homes where Junce is a favorite, famouseditor of The Perfect Ladics’ Companion, feaders who has troubles of household or heart mfidence to Mr. Hok, who will at intervals convey through these pazes SOME PERSONAL POINTERS ON ETIQUETTE, ETC. -1, It is never proper for a fetlemun to take alady’s arm, If he does 80, request him to return it at once. |> Do not bleach your hair to match the color of your pet poodle. If you insist oo having it match, better dye the poodle. This is the plan I always rec- ommend, and, if you try it, I think you sill find the arrangement entirely sa factory to yourself and friends and the retof the community, with the possible exception of the poodle. 3. ‘* Watts’s Hymns "’ or ** Pilgrim's Progress’ is a rice, safe present to give to a young an on his birthday. Something use- fol as well as instructive is the rule to |follow in such cases, and you can be re of pleasing him with either of the above. Birdie Bangs—The man who knocked lesthe door of your flat and requested Fe to‘ let up on the noise"? when you ere busy at your daily piano practice as very rude and ungentlemanly, it is ie, but you did wrong to grab him by ehair of the {head and invite him in at of the hallway, then shove his nose lown on the piano keys, and vigorously lam the cover down on his cranium. | Such a proceeding involves too much of Astrain on the temper and muscles, and, besides, it is liable to injure the piano. | trust you will remember this the next| time such an interruption occurs, Bird id, imply bolt the door, open the transom, and keep on playing harder than ever, | ind let the party who objects to your uasie grin and bear it or move out, just instead of resorting to violence, 1. I do not approve of ablishing formal paid notices of en- agements in the newspapers. for PRICKLY HEAT Chafing, Sunburn, etc. —USE PACKER’S TAR SOAP Directions for local treatment: To promptly relieve itching and smart- fgg, cleanse thoroughly with Packer's TarSoap, then apply a lather and pat oy with « tocwel, repeating as often as } ‘sited. “This not only removes acrid | *etetions, but soothes the sensitive the skin and gives im- It makes hi it look too much like a bus action, A far better plan is to an- nounce the engagement as a confidential secret toa few of your intimate lady lfttends: and depend on them to spread the news. This you will find much cheaper and just as expeditious and [satisfactory as advertising the coming Jevent in a new: 2. The bridal trousseau, of course, is provided and paid for by the bride or her parents. It is just as well in most cases not to let the intended bridegroom even know what the articles cost until after the splicing is safely accomplished. ‘The men are scary enough nowadays, good- ness knows, and it is hard enough work to induce them to stick their heads into the matrimonial noose without dangling a bill of that kind in front of them. ss trans- paper. THREE REASONS. FACH WITH TWO LEGS AND TEN FIM RS. A Boston woman who is a fond mother writes an amusing article about her ex- perience feeding her boys. Among other things she says: ‘ Three chubby, rosy-cheeked boys, Bob, Jack, and Dick, aged 6, 4, and'2 years re- spectively, are three of our reasons for using and recommending the food, Grape- Nuts, for these youngsters have been fed on Grape-Nuts since infancy, and often between meals, when other chil- dren would have been given candy. “IT gave a package of Grape-Nuts to a neighbor, whose 3-year-old child was a weazencd little thing, ill half the time. The little tot ate the Grape-Nuts and cream greedily, and the mother con- tinued the good work, and it was not long before a truly wonderful change manifested itself in the child's face and body. The results were remarkable, even for Grape-Nuts. * Both husband and I use Grape-Nuts every day and keep strong and well and ve three of the finest, healthi you can find in a day's march.” Many mothers, instead of destroying the children’s stomachs with candy and give the youngsters a ha thing in the way of sw result is soon shown in gy health, strength, 8. ind mental activity. “There's a Reason. wk in packages for the famous 1 li le_book, ** The Road to Wellvill tly increased | (CREAMY Cup Custards that melt in your mouth. How cool and good they taste on a sweltering day. It's easier than you think to make them just right. @ Ask any good cook, she'll tell you: Simply milk, eggs and so forth —and for the sake of the right consistency and smoothness you must use KINGSFORD’S CORN STARCH @ Do you know that the finest shortcake ever baked is made with part Kingsford’s? The cake itself, mind you, One-fourth corn starch and three-fourths flour give a wonderful lightness and delicacy of texture. The Book tells. Cool Desserts for Hot Weather. T. KINGSFORD & SON, OSWEGO, N. Y. NATIONAL STARCH CO., Succeniors ver read the above letter? A new one appears trom time to time. They are gen- ulne, true, and tull of human interest. IN A HAMMOCK. Two in a hammock Tried to kiss, Quickly landed istay omy snp -Lippincott's, Knicker—"So Jones has a great rev- enue-making scheme Bocker—""Yes; tax every aspirant for office.""—New York Sun. In answering advertisements please mention Juoce. AT THE SUMMER RESORT, ‘ Clara—"“What an interesting man Mr. Robinson is. He always holds one’s attention."” Charlie—"* When I saw you both on the pore h last eveniny holding something much more substantial than your attentic I thought he was It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com @ Send a post card today, and we will mail without charge our remarkable little Cook Book “F F’’—with One Hundred