Judge — August 14, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOPSY-TURVY. (itis announced that Julia Marlowe will play Hamlet next season. Word comes is that Sarah Hernhardt will shortly play Kumeo.— Theatrical items in daily payers) are topsy-turvy quite! imes rather fear, rem so very far from right, And when they say that Marlowe fair Prince Hamlet soon will play, It makes me want to tear my hair For fear that Iam fey. Will Sothern play Ophelia? Will Drew try Juliet? Will Lew Fields give us Celia With his pady yet"? Will Hare do Desdemona ‘To Marie Dressler’s Moor? Or am I just a Jonah Whose brains are off on tour? seems absurd, some of the things ‘hat in the press we see. Tean't believe the rumorings That daily come to me; And yet it’s there before my eyes That Sarah Bernhardt old The watching world will soon surprise As Komeo the bold! Will Janis give us Cassius? % Will Carter Shylock try? Miss Will fa:r Maude Adams mash us re With Marcus Antony? Offic Will Russell the tawdry midd Old gems of Father Lear? in tu Will Wilson g us Audrey? Or am I getting queer? Will Tom Wise come to anchor oaile As Katharine the Shrew? wask he Will Barrymot r To E, Foy’s Fairy Sprite? Or has my weary Thinker Gone dotty overnight? Menaler.. _ SKEPTICAL. Barlo JOUN KENDICK BANGS, “T have great expecta Hiram—he has brains.” hospi “You don't say !"" “H THE BABY. | anky AN BSGAY, mar cao BABY is a young cl It is usually spoken of happe ag ‘cute’ or “cunning.” It cannot see nor hear, but what it ‘8 in other senses it makes up in a sense of humor. Its sense of humor takes a practical turn which is not relished by the old folks. One of its jokes is to let out a how! in the night as though it were dying, and then be sound asleep mj when you have sprung out of the middle of a third ¢ sleep and dashed up to its cradle; only to howl “ again as you hit the pillow, and to be asleep again as you bend lovingly or willy-nilly over the cradle The baby considers it a good joke to be deathly sick, have MME, PooDLe \ FRENCH Mopgs. call tr quart af inso you send for a doctor, and then be as healthy as a doughnut when Washi, the doctor arrive: Babies are usually named for some one, like a rich relative ora Dutch uncle, This is where the old folks get is mostly a joke on the baby. HAMILTON Form OAL For A PROGRESSIVE DOCTOR. Chi ffer from insomnia, eh? Eat anything be- Physician fore you go to bed? Patient—* Why, doctor, you once told me never to eat any- thing before going to bed! Physician (with dignity)—"* My dear sir, that was ‘way back in 1907, Science has made wonderful strides since those TRICKS OF THE TRADE. What on earth are you doing to that painting —"*Can’t you see? I’m rubbing a piece of raw meat over the rabbit in the foreground. Mrs. Alshoddie will be here to-day, and when she sees her pet dog smell of that rabbit, she'll buy it.” A think this dress is becomi i, Jame Dachshund, ¥: "Do you "Oui, ze long wais become, veri! You have ze fi