Judge, 1909-07-31 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 31, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early Judge magazine: **"If Dreams Came True"** presents absurdist humor pairing historical/biblical figures with modern situations—Mary Queen of Scots worried about a "millinery peach basket" instead of execution, Samson making jokes about gates. The humor relies on incongruity. **"In Memory of Pocahontas"** satirizes a proposed monument to Pocahontas by mocking the commercialization of her sacrifice. It suggests turning her memory into a fundraising scheme where "every Smith" (referencing Captain John Smith) contributes dollars to build a pyramid—critiquing both sentimentality and financial exploitation. **"No Rest There"** jokes about the Stock Exchange charging $40 admission for exhausted visitors to sit. **Other pieces** include domestic humor ("Tabbed and Filed"), a beach girl reference to "keeping powder dry," and urban/rural culture clash jokes. The satire targets commercialism, sentimentality, and social pretension rather than specific political figures or events. The drawing style and content suggest this is from the early-to-mid 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
iage. IF DREAMS CAME TRUE. ARY, Queen of Scots, looked at the basket waiting for her pompadour. “ Anyway, it isn’t a mil- linery peach basket. Having thus consoled herself, she signaled to the cutlery expert to get busy. Traveling away from Gaza, Samson playfully asked a native, whom he met, “Are my gates on straight?” Seeing how strong the stranger was, the tried to laugh, though the jest was then ancient. THE BEACH GIRL. N BUSINESS at the same old stand, Upon the tide she keeps an She makes her conquests on the sand, And so must keep her powder dry. TABBED AND FILED. Mrs. Crawford—"* You must love your husband very dearly if you save all the letters he sends you while you're in the coun- try.” Mrs, Crabshaw—" I'm keeping them for comparison, my dear. I'm sure to catch him in a lie.” nativ NO REST THERE. Unele Ehen—*' If ye ever visit New York and git tired walkin’ around th’ city, don't ye go into th’ Stock Exchange Aunt Martha Uncle Eben dollars fer a seat!” IN MEMORY OF POCAHONTAS. (A movement is on foot to erect a suitable monument to, Pocahontas, the gallant Indian maiden who saved the life of Captain Jon Smith. — News item.) MONUMENT, of course! Why not? Let every Smith chip i Pass the hat to John’s descendants And gather in the tin! Build up a shaft to Poky’s name, And make it good and tall; She saved John Smith, first of his race, The daddy of them all! t every Smith subscribe a dollar ‘And build a pyramid! No lesser pile will do tocel- Ebrate what Poky did! WILL #, GIDLEY. SPECIAL_NOTICE. a somewhat worn eight-dollar WILL EXCHANGE silk hat, London make, in fair condition, when blocked as’ good as new, for a new straw hat, modern style, Panama preferred, Address, J. V. B.,'P. O. Hox 38907634, Newark, N. J. BLESSED BE NOTHING. GG PEWARE of Pickpockets!"” The sign Confronts one everywhere. Oh, how serene this soul of mine When at the words I stare! No cash have I to tempt the hand, No gems to thrall the eye. I walk secure in every land— Pickpockets pass me by. AN UNDESIRABLE VISITOR. Boastful stranger—* We New Yorkers never let any grass grow under our f Rural resident —" Then you git right off my lawn!" 1. & WATERHOUSE bur J. Brown (reading sign): SIGNS OFTEN ‘1 “+L suppose they mean it all right, but the wording is a little misleading. ” LL THE TRUTH.