Judge — July 3, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FISH STORY. Either gold fish EUROPE. teen South Brighton A: DOYOU KNOW HOW? James Montenmery: Place. Coy rhght Hm, by Judie “THE ONLY WAY TO EAT AN ORANGE?” HIS 50-cent will make an acceptable gift It for framing, print, in sepia, to any lover of pretty pictures, is a convenient 12 x 16 inches. size too, JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue NEW YORK Reflected Humor BAD NEWS FOR OUR DOCTORS. “And now that you are through col- lege what are you going to do?”’ “IT shall study medicine."’ “Rather crowded profession already, jisn’t “Can't help that. I shall study medi- cine, and those who are already in the profession will have to take their chances, that’s all.’'"—Bostun Tran- | script. A SPEECH OF THANKS. In the course of a speech not long ago | Representative John Sharp Williams i |lustrated his point by a story of an old | colored woman in Alabama, whose ex- treme age and helplessness were such that her neighbors felt called upon to supply all her needs. The aged negress was very grateful for all such attentions, and never failed to express her gratitude therefor in original language, It appearing one day that she could not sufficiently thank the son of an old friend who had brought her some choice fruit, the old woman said, “You is powerful good to a pore ole woman like me, wid one foot in de grave an’ de odder a-eryin’ out, ‘How long, joh, Lawd, how long?’ "’—Philadelphia Ledger. HINT necessary ex} the © pursuit ITS REAL EFFECT. Jacob A. Riis was talking about witty newspaper headlines. “As witty a headline as I know of,” id he, ‘was written by a youth of hteen ina San Francisco newspaper office, ‘There was a bill up to prohibit the sale of alcoholic drinks within four miles of the University of California, and this bill the youth head | ‘t*An Act To Promote Pedestrianism |among Our Students.’ "—Washingtom Star, | ethers will tnd Ms. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the Lent remedy for their chikiren, THE HARD PART. It's hard to live within one’s salary, but there's one consolation harder to live without it.—Herald and Ires- hyter. THEN “BEAT IT." “1 don’t understand how one learn boxing by correspond advertisement states, How ci can you get your practice licking Pittshurgh Observe In answering advertisements please mention Junce Liqueur Peres Chartreux GREEN AND YELLOW DAINTY DELICIOUS EXQUISITE CORDIAL OF THE CENTURIES COMING BACK AGAIN. Prisoner—*Can I speak with the con- vict Smith for one moment?” Jailer—*No; he has just left, after finishing his time. But ask me again in about a week.""—Fliegende Blaett A DISTINCTION. Some one asked Max Nordau to define the difference between genius and in- sanity. Well," said the author of “Degeneration,” ‘‘the lunatic least, sure of his board and clothe Argonaut. ‘ro your ult always borrow tackle. of his declining, after trial, no The great objecti good for the health. 3 ANGLERS. It will save London Pu A LONG ENGAGEMENT. At the Army and Navy Club in Wash- ington one most of them young men, were swapping stories of various engagements during the war with Spain and the subsequent troubles in the Philippines, | Among the silent listeners was one grizzled veteran, a naval commander of national renown, It must have occurred to one of the young men that it was peculiarly ludicrous that officers not long out of the academies should be hold- ¢ forth with respect to their exploits, this old fellow sat silent in a cor- So, turning to the vegeran, one of! oung officers blithely asked, “What the longest engay you ever participated in, admiral “It lasted three years," said the old chap, without a suspicion of a smile, “and, worst of all, the young woman married another man."* THE STUDENT'S PUZZLE. All the young men at present View directoires with alarm. If girls are one size from top to toe, Where shall he put his arm, Yale Record, It will be appreciated. ening a group of officers, | HIS CHANCE. He—"Might I be so bold as to sit be- sic " Most fellows are bolder.""— Evening Wisconsin. RETRIBUTION. “And 80 Cain cruelly slew his brother says the Sunday-school teacher. “And what was the penalty he suf- arried a woman in the land of Nod,”’ answers the tow-headed boy in the end seat, ‘and he said his punish- ment was greater than he could bear.’” ‘ change, The ‘Barber’s Guide. i:: m hotel anal detest 5 | WI"WANTERS, "E20" Norm Avenue, Chicago, Collars an Cuffs G2: BARKER BRAND, PIN Ay MADE OF LINEN fi aN 15s FoR 25¢" Sit, sizes Wizard Repeating LIQUID PISTOL vot 0 shibeat” pormenr evlectly tate carry danse of Fieve and pera itu he tehoxers toate tentang Tegal PNG cartridges required. now tn ‘one toating, AN. lors. or by gall See Rubber-covered Hale, 18. J. S. stamps. Parker Stearns & coche ky Ave, Dec Puiyn icy, ROMEIKE’S f= co ewspay will send you che. NEY. RomeiKe, i10- Street. New ‘York EARLINGTON 55 West 27th Street Near Broadway, New York SANTAL CAPSULES comicbooks.com