Judge — July 3, 1909 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Chicleis Y DELIGHTFUL “Che he Dainty int Covered Candy Coated Chewing Gum Particularl ly, Desirable after Dinner BETTER—STRONGER More lasting in avor than any other, A try—a_ test » the rest! sackets nc a Sold jn S¢,10¢ and 25¢ —a Jrenk Meer & Qn ‘Nond ta Can. The Truth Can be told about Great possessing quet and flavor that ‘connouseur received a GOL: MEDAL.” PLEASANT VALLEY Philip Morris, ORIGINAL LONDON Cigarettes | Best known by the company | they keep “ Ambassador alter-dinner “The Little Brown Box" buttons) | the sa Princeton Tiger lots cooler, Fi | Abbotts Bitters be used in making it; I getting the very best. CAP AND GOWN SMILES: | 1 WONDER. When the plays w And the plots we And the chorus gow As a chorus should, all would roughhouse show through, And the ushers ¢ two, When the plays were sound And the plots were good. We whole the 1 business by two and Now the play's risqué And the plots are worse, While the lines they say And the clothes are terse But now we loll through the whole —— sho} Are w know, Now th badder or better, I'd like to Harvard Lampoon, BROMO~ SELTZER CURES HEADACHES 104,254,504 & $199 Bottles. DIOCESE DEFINED. When Rt. Rev, Ethelbert Talbot, bis- hop of central Pennsylvania, was in London not long ago his fame as the |**cowboy bishop” brought thousands of young boys and girls to hear him speak wherever he went. In one of his talks to the youngsters, he held them spell bound by telling them of his dioces Wyoming, which was more thickly popu- lated in the old days with bears and Indians than with Christians. When he was finished with his descrip- |tion he asked the English children if any one knew what a diocese was. One ; boy promptly raised his hand. “What is it my lad “A diocese, my lord, is body of land with a bishop on top and the clergy underneath,” was the answer. A QUESTION OF LEARNING. | ‘Ke prada’, She can discourse on Beethoven | Ina manner most sedate. Winifred’s not very pretty | (L should hardly call her that), But she’s got the higher branches Of philosophy down pat. Daisy i is a perfect stunner at is what the When it comes to smiles and dimples, She has everything her way. And when she is out a- Every one admires h But of higher mathematics | Daisy doesn’t know a thing. Winifred is most proficient At domestic science, too; I'm afraid that Daisy couldn't Even make an Irish stew. | But the boys all follow Daisy, Winifred is quite forgot— Now does higher education Really pay, or does it not? “A little of this goes a long way,” said the aeronaut, as he flicked the ash from his cigar.—Harvard Lampoon. Time is money, and money is time. all the money you can without get- ting time.—Red Hen, By-by, seniors! May the cold world not treat your A. B.'s too coldly.-—Co- ¢ lumbia Spectator. Tiger. A LA CONAN DOYLE. villain!" exclaimed the as he burst in the door; ave found you out!"" contrary,"” observed criminal, ‘you have found me in.” Biting his nails in futile rage, the! baffled sleuth withdrew.—Harvard Lam- | —Harvard Lampoon. poon, “Aha, piniAl¥¥ Oe RORROWING: A dead beat is not half so bad as real live one.—Red Hen. “I got a lickin’ fer borrowin’ a quar- ter from Skinny yestidday.”” “How's that’ Distilled waters run steep.—Yale Record. A DILEMMA, The future queen—" Stop erying and hurry The « n't go in Smith, in WHY HE WAS BROKEN UP ABOUT IT. Asker—"So you married her because of her beautiful voice ard superb com- plexion?”” | Askee—""Yep."" —""Well, what happened to her And her complexion?” Ditto." — Williams C lege OVERHEARD IN BOSTON. First straphanger—"V'm glad cara are here. ul straphanger—"Yes; they are the t straphanger nt that; "8 never get on when the car is fi *thave to feel cheap if you Harvard about the new hats—The asket, the less the Every lover of a ool cocktail should insict that insures your | Harvard Lampom, aa C.F. HEUBLEIN “These pajamas are good stuff. & Bro. You'll never wear them out.”” Hartford “No; they're hardly suitable for! New York |atreet wear."’"—Cornell Widow. 4 eedea In answering advertisements please mention Jup “Well, I had t’ knock him down afore he'd lend it t’ me.""—Princeton Tiger. ‘a an alligator pear?”* Hen. “Pa, whi “Two alligators, son.""—Red Cocktails A Bottled Delight When youmix acocktail, you take chances. When you use CLUB Cock. TAILS you don't even have to mix, Just pour over cracked ice and you'll have the most deli cious and satisfy- ing drink you ever tasted. THE RESULT. “Why is it that Rosamond appears unhappy? Did she not marry a count “Yes; but he turned out to be count.""—Harvard Lampom, no Cf A RECOPD BREAKER. “That man has broken more records than any one else I ever heard of."” “A runner? “No; he owns a_ graphophon Stanford University Chaparral. Ga Ley RECTIFIED. The report that ex-President Eliot is making preparations for a hunting trip in Zululand is absolutely unfounded.— They can't help being better than the mixed at random kind. WHEN WOMEN VOTE. . L adore a big, broad- ¢ i, brainy, handsome-looking jp “Oh, darling! This is so sud- Columbia Jester, Martini (gin base) Man- hattan( whi key base) are always popular. . WHAT WAS? Miss Orange—"Do you know Poe's Raven'?”” Black—*Why, 1 matter with him?""—Har what's the d Lampoon, £. It will be appreciated. Food for reflection—the green apple. |