Judge — June 26, 1909 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LITTLE ICEBERG a floating round in the liquid *Teannot tell how the truth may be depths of a High Ball made of [oan the tale as "tous told to me.” THE PROFESSOR'S PRANK. At the hour set for the funeral the| § . ERTAIN professor in a New friends and neighbors came trailing in York medical school has a| with their mourning faces and funeral habit of making notes of airs. The deceased had been laid out in the questions he intends to his grave toga and placed in the coffin! % put in the “quiz” of the |earlier in the day, so the services were | § day following. Not long|begun and concluded, yet no hearse| BALTIMORE ago a student “just hap-|came, After an hour of impatient pened" to—oh, joy!—find| waiting, the defunct Republican's the professor's sheet of brother-in-law said to the young min- RYE WUNTEp notes lying on the desk. ister, Copies of the list found a| ‘What in the world are we to do? te ‘ ready sale at twenty-five I'm afraid the hearse is not coming.” oN lied the — te b strongly suggests how to By £ 0 carry) bs keep cuol in hot weather. Auimore RY cents each, and the lucky| ‘Why,’’ confidently rey student made a rather good “get a ‘democrat thing of it. Of course, Y when the questions were duly asked, the} ‘*A Democrat!"’ gasped the astonished | & ¢ exact and elaborate. broth excitedly. 4 Yel ananand 5a Wee gon ” the professor observed, | “Why, ‘assured the preacher. | uae M asia dr enareang beaming over his glasses, “1 am de-| ‘Where I came from they always take lighted. Your knowledge on these sub-| a ‘democrat’ to carry the corpse if they jects has saved me the trouble and labor | can’t get a hearse.’” of looking up a number of points I in-| ‘Well, sir, I'd have you know that we | tended to touch ups a paper I am/don’t use Democrats down here for! _™ « uring, for a medical journal. | carters of the dead or for much of any- DOING NOTHING. v."" picking up a small notebook, | thing else. Why,’* he flared back ashe | 4 southern representative who lives) ‘* Well, den, le’s do hit togedde ‘we will get on with our regular ‘quiz’. ) turned indignantly on his heel to le in a small village says that one night| was the compromising suggestion. Mr. Adams will tell us the effect of"'— | the parson, who was quite bewildered, | nt tony ago, heuring @ noise somewhere| ‘*And 1 have always been sorry that SS a |‘‘I'd have you know, too, sir, that there |i, the neighborhood of his hen-house,|I felt called upon to interfere in 80 in- ty hiding in a closet, the lucky (2) are not enough Democrats voting in this |), arose and, under cover of a board! teresting a thing as ‘doin’ nuffin’ to- student who had found the “notes” part of Pennsylvania to act as pall- crept to the place, He could | gedder,*” the representative concluded ed lynching. bearers to a gas-filled dummy ! tiy make out a dark form, ap-| with a amile. parently trying to force the he e) door. Just then another dusky shape | IN TENNESSEE. rounded the corner and there was con- | There was a Confederate colonel, sternatio | Whose thirst it was blooming and volo- Who dat?” one demanded in a nel; ightened voice But he said with a | ‘Me. Who dat?"’ was the trembling| When the county went drigh, reply. “Such action, I think, is infolonel. “Me. What yo’ doin’ hangin’ roun’ ve ed, ese: igh, THE SUMMER MAID. Now soon the lovely summer maid > = . Nuffin’ ‘tall, Whut yo’ Will once again be Departing for the rural shade, Nuffin’. Ah ain't doin’ nuffin’, ‘To gabble on the green. neider, —Kansas City Timer. A BOTTLED DELIGHT LAST HOP! send us to the United States alive. J the duty on all roar material.”* he won't kill us, but ju not, “Phe taritf reformers have rai NOT A POLITICAL FUNERAL. EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. try a “TL have a boy in my school of whom L d,’’ said a New York teacher jut I tremble to think what In some sections of the cou -d platform wagon is peculiarly am very f¢ “democrat,” and in others it is smilingly, the more’ distinctive name, his futur spring wagon,’ by the natives. In he evince—er- crim- States these terms are found - some grave person, vailing in different localities. ‘Thus, in| who had missed the smile, inquired. northern Pennsylvania. such a spring! ‘Well, Lam afraid he may become a * In the m State it is healed a “spring, w having a history **demoer: Because they’re mixcd-to-measure, and their fine old liquors blendcd to exact proportions, CLUB ntatively. view the ot ‘ Although the incident was; and I asked this boy who was Peter tl COCKTAILS are always a better drink than any + in connection with a funeral, it serves |Great. He answered, ‘A czar of Rus wailnchivcsieae A . CLUB to show how an amusing situation was sia.’ | made-by guesswork kind could ever be. fi possible through a confusion of ‘And was there more than one Peter CockTAILs are doubly convenicnt—no fuss or the terms for this very handy wagon. the Great?’ I asked. trouble to prepare. Simply strain through cracked A few months agoa young preacher was | ‘He appeared to ponder for a moment, Psi st delicious cocktail in transferred from the northern to the and then replied, ice and you have the most de! southern district of the Stu Acoup’e| ‘**No, Miss Mary; that was ac the world, ready for instant use. of weeks ago he was called upon to in which history didn’t re Martint (ein base), Manhatten (whishey base), are the funeral of @ man ho self." "? the most popular. Get a bottle from your dealer. adical Republican and poli! " il worker. It was a strong Repub-| 5. . vverot « gum! cocktail should call for Ab G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., HARTFORD, NEW YORK, LONDON bette Hitters,” Makes the bent eee ican stronghold. > In answering advertisements please mention Juncr, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com