Judge, 1909-06-19 · page 10 of 16
Judge — June 19, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains three separate humorous pieces: **"Belinda, the Manicurist"** satirizes class pretension and male condescension. A working-class manicurist rebuffs a man's flattery by preferring tips to compliments. When he compares her to Helen of Troy (ancient Greek mythology), she confuses it with a contemporary scandal involving a woman named Helen of Troy who worked in a Troy, New York collar factory and was named in a divorce case. The joke mocks both her ignorance of classical literature and his assumption that flattery would impress her. **"Rube's Observation"** is a brief quip contrasting rural and urban life—New Yorkers exercise more because they walk less distance, so they compensate. **The remaining pieces** are short comic verses about mathematical curves and baseball, love letters, and moral platitudes—typical *Judge* filler content. The satire targets working-class characters, gender dynamics, and urban/rural contrasts typical of early 20th-century American humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BELINDA, THE MANICURIST. ELINDA, the mani- curist, had deftly running the orangewood stick around the man in the gr waistcoat, when he looked into her eyes with a beaming amile and said, “Don't you know you are pretty? I always did like blondes." “Quit your jollying! I'd rather have a tip.” “But T mean it, Yo mind me of Helen of Tre “*Who is she-—the other girl that used to work but got fired for flirting “Oh, no. You don’t un- derstand, “Did she work in a laun- dry?” “Of course not. Let me explain.” “Oh, I'm on now. She worked in a collar factory up Uncle Rube in Troy. That's a bully place, ain't it? I went up there once on an excursion to see my little cousin what had the measles. Was she your stendy?”” “No, no, girl; you don’t give me time to ex- plain, [never saw Helen of Troy in my lif bis that’s funny! How do you know about her, then? **T read about her."" “Oh, she had her nam named her as corespondent?”” “ Nobody.”* “Well, did she get her name in the papers for shoplifting?” “Of course not. Don’t be so inane!" “What's inane? I'll ask Petro, the third-chair man; he's got a Worchestershire in his vest pocket. re, in the papers! Who THE HUMAN -ENDAR. haven't met him? Well, yo re lucky, RUBE’S OBSERVATION. New York folks don't walk as far as we do in the country, but, b* gosh, they jit more exercise.” ** You mean a Wooster’s. I didn’t see H “Then whet But listen, my dear; en of Troy’a name in the papers."* did you see it, I believe you are Not at all. Helen of Troy lived two thousand years ago."” inda dropped her stick of orangewood. Her 8 expanded until they looked like the pro- verbial saucers. “Two thousand years ago!” “And I look as old as that?” “Don’t be ridiculous! You look like she looked in those days, “ Did you ever see her?” “No; but “Then how do you know how she looked? Don't try to insult me, mister! I'ma girl with a raising. Oh, ain’t men dreadful! I believe I'll give up being manicurist and learn to be a lady barber, ‘cause then if the men say too much you can put lather in their mouths, Petro, let me see the Worchester- shire what's in your vest pocket. That old mutt in the bullfrog vest said I was inane, and I think he’s insane, ‘cause that means dippy.”” VICTOR A. HERMANN. CURVES—MATHEMATICAL AND BASEBALL. 66Q)1, PLEASE excuse, my pater, dear, ‘The briefness of this letter, lectures, and my books My waking hours fetter. To-day close study of the curves My strict attentions claim."” He sealed the note, then hustled forth To sce the baseball game. Hm reexe. THE REASON WHY. LOVE LETTERS should always be typewritt In a typewritten letter there is a ring at the end of each line. MYSTR “Tis Mystresse Dollye—soc INTERESTED. As raptured poets syng Her browe is as Moralist—'* Hell is paved with good intentions."* Politician—* Who got the con- tract 2" “Thys gentylle mayde is one. R Retatro ———$—$— 2 + comicbooks.com