Judge — June 5, 1909 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a zs JOHN A, SLEICHE! Wasreme Av) James M, Lee, Mi Ove year. or 52 ‘Thirteen wens AGENTS —Inlermationa! News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, EC. London; Brentana’s, Aveunt de Opera, Paris: Saaroach's News bachange, Mains, PEN-POINTS. IHE REAL reason why “ there are no birds in last year’s nest’? i because they are f.und on this year’s hats. Even a bird cannot be in two places at once. Why should there not be an ‘‘ unwritten law’? for the judge as well as for the jury? The old saying, “birds of a feather flock to- gether,” is certainly true in the case of the Wright brothers, \.ho also “fly together."” Jupce finds in the Western Christian Advocate the following item under the head “ Editorial Notes "": “ An automobile ix a vain thing for safely.” It may be future revisions of the Old Book will need this ver- sion of the familiar saying from the Psalms, Ruth Bryan Leavitt, daughter of William Jennings Bryan of Widow Bennett fame, is said to be planning a great convention of the Jane Jefferson Clubs of Colorado. These clubs are composed of women Democrats, organized to spread Democratic principles. Doubtless she will profit by the mistakes made by her father with his Thomas Jefferson clubs. The attention of Jupce has been called to the fact that mirrors could be more profitably employed to signal Venus instead of Mars. A future President—still in short pants—comes forward with the assertion that @ good world-wide Fourth of July celebration would probably attract the at- tention of the inhabit- ants of Mars. He offers his services free, as ter of ceremonie: These two suggestions of mother and son are worthy of thoughtful consideration, HELP FOR THE POET LAUREATE OF TURKEY. TT HE poct Inurente of Turkey is having difficulty, Jupce under- stands, in writing his pean of joy over the new Sultan. Just to help him out, Jupce would suggest the couplet : Hail, Mehmed Great, WSU WANT mH UA Magnificus— ; Nt \ | He is the Boss, the WOM Ea Bos-phor-us! With a start like , the average Amer- thi ican poet could run on for a mile without break. |__- Brunswick Bullding, 225 Fifth Ave. New York. Cabl ‘Sur months, of 20 mumve we ee nas ions payable in advance Ly draft on New Vork, or by express or postal order, mot by lava chrces WW JUDGE canvet be found at any cewe-stand, (be publishers will be ender obligations If that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. THE POLITICAL CARRIE NATION. je Address,“ Judgark.” Tel. 6632 Madison Square. P. W, Schneider, Secretary. Arthur Terry, Treasurer. idding. Chicago, Ut E. Hamitton, Art Editor, 1D WEEKLY AT 10 CKNTH A COPY. sider ity. The contents of FUDGE are orotected by conyrigh in both the United States ard Great (ain. CONTRIBUTORS mast tnciose a stamped and self-addressed envelope woth all manascrDtsy otheripise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. Vos, 20 cents: 1907, 30 cents, et as the new address, and the ledger eumber oa theit wraypet. Prom two to tbiee weeks must THE CAUSES OF TRUANCY. JHE ONLY objection to the appointment of a committee to in- I vestigate the truancy question is that its conclusions in May or June would not be the same as those in October and No- vember. The boy who disappears from school in springtime is after fish and ** The Old Swimmit 80 beautifully embalmed in imperishable verse by our poets. Any investigator who is worth his salt can discover this by waiting until Master Truant has retired for the night and then investigating his clothing. A certain damp- ness about the little shirt that lies across the chair at the foot of the bed will suggest even to a mind utterly devoid of imagination that it has been used for a towel, from which certain deductions can unerringly be made. And then an examination of the contents of the trousers pockets will disclose yard upon yard of water-soaked twine, a half-dozen barbed hooks, with here and there a fat angle- worm or two, which Sherlock Holmes would scarcely find puzzling if he were after the conviction of a culprit. But in the autumn the conclusions would be entirely different, for then, clinging to the calves of the offender's stockings, would be found the prickly spills of the chestnut burr, which are never found either upon fish or in the cooling waters of the pond. In other words, while the conclu- sion that the flounder and the trout and a sudden desire for cooling cleanliness is at the root of the evil in the spring’ is past all perad- venture correct, when the autumn breezes blow it is the lure of the chestnut that takes him from his books. As for the good old sum- mertime, it is notorious that truancy is reduced to a minimum at that season of the year, and for a reason that is obvious. There is no school in summer! This, then, brings us to the crux of the whole situation. If truancy is an evil that must be stamped out, the way to do it so com- pletely that it will never jain revive is to abol- ish schools altogether. All of which is respect- fully submitted to the board of education. OME one has said that the earth is drying up and that ina million years there will not be any more wat This should not be a cepted, however, as a val for a small boy who does not want to take his bath morning, unless the ent is prepared to him an object-lesson, as to the value of cleanli- ness, with a curry- comb. d exeu: ANOTHER picture puzzle contest next week, closes July 1st.