Judge — March 13, 1909 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

@ tonic for those who wish to get better. Sold Everychere, LUYTIES BROTHERS, U.S, Agents, New York, BERS MAKE “SIDE MONEY. pat bing oot rare anrhere anda soot : COMPANY. Y, Dept. 13, ELYRIA, OM10. | KILLING TIME. CASE FOR A GOOD LAWYER. “Why ure you so sad?”” an acquaint- ance asked a young man whose aunt had just died. ‘You never appeared to care much for the poor lady.”” “I didn’t,” said the youth dolefully; “but I was the means of keeping her in @ lunatic asylum during the last five years of her life. She has left me all her money, and now I’ve got to prove that she was of sound mind.""—Philadel- phia Inquirer, A NEW GAME. The junior partner of the Wall Street |firm was slightly indisposed and the | senior partner was calling him up every three minutes. “Why do you telephone 80 often?”” in- quired a friend. Well, his temperature fluctuates considerably, and some of my customers | ate speculating on the fluctations. | Washington Herald. USELESS. “‘Mildred,’” murmured a fashionable "I heard you singing in your ne is morning.” ‘He—‘Oh, I sing a little to kill tim ‘She—"You have a good weapon.””— Boston Transcript. AGRICULTURAL EDUCATION. Farmer (to lad put to plowing for messin about all over the place like this?” Farm fad—* Wull, you told I to look at summat an’ go straight to it, an’ I bin tryin’ to foller thic ther cow till 1 be down !"— Punch THE TALENTED MILLER FAMILY. at is the Miller family oie| “The wife is writing poems that no- body will read, the daughter is painting pictures that nobody will buy, the son is composing plays that nobody will put | on the stage, and the husband is writing checks that nobody will cash.” —Meggen- dorfer islaetter, STILL UNANSWERED. } Wye “Billy, dear, I stitched up the | bole in your trousers’ pocket last night | after you had gone to bed. Now, am I Pot a thoughtful little wife?” | Hustond—"H'm! How did you know | there vis a hole in my pocket?"”—New York Tines, HIS LOVE LIKE THE OCEAN. Gero d—"*My love for you is like the less ocean.” ie Seridine—""Exactly the way I take i—' What do you mean?” dine—*With a good many grains Philadelphia Inquirer. | Philadelphia Inquirer. young man, sinking on one knee, ‘‘for your birthday gift I offer—myself.”” “Thank you," was the cold reply, IVER JOHNSON’ SAFETY AUTOMATIC REVOLVER Absolutel; dental \ accl- f against 1e88, OF ac proof agains 4 carelessn shooting. Throw it down stairs joor—or Hammer the Hammer any test you make will prove the positive safety of an, Iver Jobnson alety, Automatic Revolyer: No no “lever, t a7 Hod for you ety \feature is matic. a part of the fring mechanism, There is only onc way charge it—pail the trigge pen it shoots trac and hts bara. ‘Send for our free booklet, io sir explains thts positive safety ise $7 Mameneriess Reveiver Micuoets ta catlove ater fren rare F scaitbre centerfire, 34-10. les Le Hardwardand Sporting Good: dealereereryeterers x will not eupply- premade “lohason's Arms & Cycle Works, 183 fiver Set, Fitchborg, | Mass. ‘Now York: 9 Chambers Bu many: Plekbubea ¢ receiotot price re barrok ireate “but only accept useful presents. ""— he first timey—‘* What on earth be at, tired, an’ now I be waitin for ‘er to lie A SMOKING SUGGESTION. | The child saw Mr. Smith, wearing a silk hat and smoking a cigar, go past the house. ‘*Mamma,”’ said she, ‘why doesn’t Mr. Smith fix the draught so’s the smoke'll goup his chimney?” —Town | and Country. LITTLE MISS CRAMMER. Little Miss Crammer Held to a grammar, Devouring it all through the day, When an unknown professor Tried his best to impress her, And frightened Miss Crammer away. —Bohemian. REVISED VERSION. The members of the Women's Rights Society held their semiannual meeting in the town hall yesterday, and during the president’s address it was so quiet you could have heard a coupling-pin drop. —Four Corners Gazette. AND LEFT THE HAMMERS HOME. A sewing-circle would be a great in-| stitution if the women met to sew.— Universalist Leader. ‘THE EVERLASTING QUESTION. “Here is a button off and there i other, I have no clean collars, and my ¥ full of grease spots. What would you advise me to do?” “Why, get married.” “ Heaven on earth! I am married." —Meggendorfer Blatter, PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD Bulletin. SEVEN TRAINS AND SEVEN CITIES. From time immemorial the number “seven” has represented perfection. The ancients held that seven, being composed of the numbers “three” and “four,” representing the triangle and the square, was a sacred figure and could not be improved. The seven cities of New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and St. Louis represent the spirit of- American enterprise, and in their marts is transacted the greater part of American trade. The Pennsylvania Railroad operates seven great trains, link- ing four of these seven cities in the Middle West with the three in the East. In these seven trains is represented the highest type of railroad equipment and operation. From New York to Chicago there is the “Pennsylvania Special,” making the run “between suns,” a marvel in speed with a surprise in equipment; “The Pennsylvania Limited,” a favorite with all travelers; the “Chicago Limited,” by business men; the “Chicago Special,” the “Western Express, the “Chicago and St. Louis Express,” and the “ Pacific Ex- press,” all good trains, and all stopping at Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. To St. Louis, the “St. Louis Limited” represents the most complete service, whilst to Cincinnati and Cleveland excellent service is provided by four trains of the “Famous Seven.” A glance at the Pennsylvania Railroad time table will give you the time of these trains. .