Judge — January 30, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SPOILED NOVEL. 1 seuel tance Hiflute—"Mark hee well, Mi She has scorned my hand and for di my power Her proud spirit: must b d Ttis your part to spirit her away to my mountain stronghold "* NIGHT QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. HY DOES a rat put in a week of strenuous work to gnaw a hole through a wall, when it could just as well ax not walk in at an open door? Find souvenir postal card for reply. Why are freight trains scheduled for noisy runs at night, with switches and turn- the most people are trying to typewriter for reply, and write 4. Hero—* Not gun artist of the S thwest.”? for company. If you can think of a bet- ter answer at night, get up and write it down, When one awakens at night with hot head and cold feet, w should he do for Reverse yourself in bed. If the conditions should prevail in daytime, dry." Why is the darkest hour just before Like the average mortal, it puts off worst until the last and cannot wait relie same vot dawn? the er. Wy does a hammered thumb nail hurt <at night than in the daytime? It bas nothing else to do. Why does a rooster begin to crow at midnight and keep it up until morning? Ask his harem. Why does a bibulous individual persist in singing when going home late at night ? He does not sing. He just thinks he does. If you should awaken precisely at mid- night, with the full moon shining in at your window, and find a mouse under your fequel—* Ha she comes Remember, Don Fandango Hitlute will brook no bungling * pillow, what would you do? Answer blue- penciled, Which is the greater economy. a match when getting up to look for s thing to throw at the leader of a cat conce: or to strike your forehead against th of the door and proceed with the hunt by starlight? This answer is in the hands of the postal department for a decision as to whether or not it can be printed. If a man should eat one pound and two ounces of sausages and two whole mince pies before retiring and not be visited by the dream ghost during the entire night, how would you account for it? On the theory that the coroner should be summoned im- mediately. to strike Oh, brave sir, you have saved my How can I repay you ?* life! Why is an unloaded gun like an alarm clock? You think the answer is that they both go off unexpectedly. That is not it. It is the gun which does that. You forget to wind the clock, and right there the gun and the clock reach the forks of the roads. CHARLES A. HARTLEY. THE VOICE. THE VOICE which calls the young man from the plo To shop and offi Cares not_ whence comes the help it seeks, nor ho Nor asks, in quest of family renown, “Boy, who are you?” For industry cares not for rank or birth, When seeking strong hands for the many tasks Which must be done upon thi Interpreted aright, the V. * What can you do? DON. CAYRKON SAPD. SMALL CHANGE. Brokeleigh—* Would you advise me to take a better half 2" Wixeguy—* Not unless you are provided with plenty of better quarters."’ busy earth. but asks, 3. Mauel—" Hist! Senora, you are in our pow- ‘er and must come with us to the mountains."” OVERHEARD AT THE ZOO. 66 LJOW long have you had a sore throa asked Doctor Monk, who had been t the suffering giraffe. had ‘em four feet long, doc- tor," tient, ‘but I guess from the feel of it this beats the record by at least six inches."* IN WASHINGTON. Representative Holdup—"1 have been advised to take a trip abroad.”’ Senator Kash —** So have 1.” Representative Holdup—" Who advised you ; your physician or your attorney ?’* summoned to tr T was just 6 Hero—* Nothing to it, Ringlets. trying the penetration of my new six gun. comicbooks.com