Judge, 1908-12-12 · page 4 of 16
Judge — December 12, 1908 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several disconnected satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"Out-Burbanking Burbank"** mocks Luther Burbank's horticultural experiments, suggesting he crossed an eggplant with a comb—absurdist humor about scientific ambition. **"One on the Lawyers"** shows a naturalized German evading jury duty, with a judge warning him not to expect leniency—commentary on immigration and legal responsibilities. The remaining sections are brief humorous observations: "She Thought So" about a child seeing an ox, "A Difficult Question" about money's indecisiveness, and "Opinions Differ" contrasting views on an actress's automobile accident. The bottom sections ("Debtors," "In Smart Society," "Wisely Wished") present short joke dialogues on predictable topics: debt, marriage prospects, and domestic humor. Overall, the page emphasizes light satirical commentary on contemporary American life rather than focused political critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OUT-BURBANKING BURBANK. “yy CARRIED through an inter- esting experiment last sum- mer,”’ says Uncle William, during the conversation after the Thanks- giving dinner. ‘I had a little gar- den, you remember, and just for the novelty of the thing I crossed an eggplant with a coxcomb.’” “What was the result?"’ asks Cousin Henry. “It grew very nicely until it was about six weeks old, when it flew to the fence and tried to crow."” ONE ON THE LAWYERS. Naturalized German (trying to excuse himself from service on jury) “But I don't understand good English!" Judge (looking at lawyers who SSS SEs < SSS S SS SS S&S 7 SS JUDGE'S FAVORITE soldier tru J that I followed you; For to your play they all keep Because the sign outside reads G itup A DIFFICULT QUESTION the widow and the bu “Why does “He isn the experience th bud has yet to get. SHE THOUGHT SO. HEN little May first saw an ox, Behind a wall that was built of rocks, She cried—her i “Just see that an’ OPINIONS DIFFER. Farmer Jones—** 1 see in the Gi tte how one of those New York bro- kera had given a ten-thousand-dollar automo- bile to an actress, No wonder his business failed, with such extravagance !"" City brother (home on a visit)—* That was economy, not extravagance."’ DEBTORS. Lecturer —* Man owes a great deal to n, ‘They are debts he ean ne f pay aiure! of owe my landlady for three months’ L Man in andienee ight y and I never ean pay her.” IN SMART SOCIETY. Mrs, Newport —* Count Knownothing, ‘ou consider that the A Ms are good enough to marry for : Coot Ab, madame, 2 not be z ty are to try the case) —"* Dor You won't hear any here NING IN“ MARCELLE Tt" only safe way to write a love letter to a woman is to tear nd put it in the stove before etal that you ‘are sending it. , widew has had, or WISDOM. There 's another wan beyand ther fines. . Milligan" Shtop where yee be, Pat GOOD ADVICE Willie, fly straig trun over by an aero- ON THE WAY. HERE was a man in Oakland, Cal., Wh F ai ack up my As far down “TP travel fast and far until I find what made Chi And if no man the thing Vilask a in Dov He traveled on to Nashvil fle wandered through the He lost his mind, he lost his v Hut found himself in old N. J. y sighed, E Wis. 1 h Columbus, Miss. ; Yet still the thing might iv Lcould get to Boston, M He walked across the Common, free, ack and ask Ann Arbor, Mich. !"" HE difference between the quick and the dead is that the quick dodge the autos. comicbooks.com