Judge — November 28, 1908 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAFE Sée—"* You'll catch it, you dwefful He—*"That’s all you know, Miss Ma’s telling her club how to d_pa’s away from home COMMON EXPERIENCE, “Are you waiting for me, dear?” she said, coming downstairs at last, fixing her hat. “Waiting!’’ exclaimed the impatient n, “No, not waiting—sojourning.”” tesman, Yonkers § resourceful man,’ said Zben, “when some one hands him a lemon, is ready wif de sugar and other fixin’s to make it tol’able pleasant to —Waxhington Sta LAUGHS AND SMILES From Our Contemporaries. REVENGED AT LAST. | CAUTIOUS. “If plants have thoughts, feelings,| ‘I can’t understand why my second and emotions similar to those of human | husband is so fastidious. He scarcely eats anything. My first ‘husband, who died, used to eat everything I cooked for him.”” “i that? | | “Perhaps that's the “How the average canteloupe must chuckle with malicious glee at the look | of disappointment on the face of the person who has just cut it open!"—Chi- cago Tribune, you told your present husband ason."'—Ex, JUST HIS Luck. “William, Freddy informs me that WHEN HE SAT DOWN. “How was your speech received at his teacher has decided to advance him the club?"? asked one of Chumley’s from the sixth to the seventh grade, | friends. owing to his fine deportment and hi Why, they congratulated me very In fact, one of the members when I sat elf it was the -Youth's praiseworthy attention to his studies. “Pshaw! That's just my luck! ame to me and told me th “Why, what makes you say that?” | down he had said to him | “Thad it all figured out that I was | best thing I had ever do going to be about ten dollars ahead at | Companion. the end of this month. Now it will be ary to buy a new set of school Exchange. heartily. WONDERFUL. ne book: year go to make our piano keys,’? re- |marked the student boarder, who had |been reading the scientific notes in a patent-medicine almanac. “For the land’s sake! A QUESTION. I wonder if those old-time songs, Those songs both grave and gay, Became such painful nuisanc exclaimed ‘As do our songs to-day? the landlady, ‘Ain't it wonderful Penny Pictorial, What some animals can be trained to do?"”"—Exehange. A LOGICAL REASON. Teacher—Why do the frozen rivers and lake in spri Mothers will tind Mes. Winste bent remedy for Uh Soothing Syrup the | a bottle, SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT. “Most men get their walking papers when they are discharged,” remarked e letter-carrier; ‘but it was different “In what way?” asked his friend. “I got mine when I was appointed,”” answered the man of letters,—Chicago | News. BEEN THERE BEFORE. A widower, who was marvied recently | for the third time, and w e bride had | been married once fore herself, w a the penton of the weddir vitations, y and ce this is cixew Argonaut, Ph: Abbe grate fruit with @ little breakfast a "a Hitters as COMFORTING. The boy ON THE OTHER SIDE. “So you cling to that childish sup atition about thirteen being unlucky, * answered the other. ‘Can't away y tion iu But see how completely it is dis- proved. This glorious country started with thirteen colonics."" “Very true, But I am an English- man,""— Washington Star, HEALTH makes ness; Evans’ makes health. How are you? Hotels, Restaurant Ale sat 4 Deaters What he wished to be. Hushand—“It is a great thing—that accident insurance. I have taken out a policy so that if, for instance, I merely break my arm, 1 receive twenty-five EATING FOR THE CONE hundred dollars. Hardhead—"These children’s Wife— Wouldn't that be nice! I don’t approve of. Take that {could take a trip to the Riv bout the goose that laid the golden jfeggendorfer Blactter. eggs. How silly!”” $ | Mr. Bland—"But, madam, isn’t goose supposed to do silly things?” Boston Transcript. | Mrs, stori Then cra,’ — 2 HOW IT HAPPENED. “Did you ever find the traditional man under the bed?" queri a the epinater, veep ‘Only one plied the marri ALL VELVET. womans “We thought we heard bur- “Just made a clear million,’’ said the | glars downstairs, and a few seconds later promoter. ‘‘Sold the Steep and ( Crooked found my husband there."’—Chicago Street Car Line at that figure." “But the line must have cost you something."* “Cost me something! Say, you don’t suppose I’m chump enough to risk any the customer in the tobacc: of my own moncy on these risky deals!" me one that smokes free Philadelphia Ledger. “Can't do it, mister,” replied the = boy. ‘We haven't a cigar in the pla BRUISED. that smokes for less than five cents. May—'So your father handled him change, without gloves? Fay ps; and i NOTHING DOING. “Give me a good cigar, my boy,” said hop. ‘‘Give UNWORTHY. nd, I beg you to lend me fifty dollars," wrote a needy man to an acquaintance, “and then forget me for- ever. Iam not worthy to be remem- idea of bered.”"—Philippines Gossip. would have been orge if he had New York “My dear fi First anti-suffragist “TI their wantin’ to be like us!” and anti-xuffragint—"* Ye selves utterly ridiculous! A woman prays to get into heaven, but she fights to get into society.—Ex. makin’ —Punch, them: ‘More than five thousand elephants a} O14-Pure=Rare=Rich Ia Flavor are the essential qualities of a fine old whiskey. Sun wise f ossesses all of these qualities cause it is distilled and aged in the good old honest Ken- tucky way. Every bot sealed, with the Govern- ment “Green Stemp” up- on which is printed the exact root and Quantity of whiskey with- | yf. in each bottle. Sunny Brook Distillery Co, Jefferson County Kentucky DARLING'S VIEWS. Mother—** Well, darling, how did you leatoy, the party, and how did you like the bishop?” Effie—"Oh, it was delightful, and the bishop was as kind as kind—but, oh, mummy, the brains of a kitten Punch, The Truth Can be told about Great Western Champagne PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., ‘Sole Makers, Roles, N. V. Bald by reopen (dealorae 0, Milwaukee & Riattway wy it FLA. Minter, G1 A., Chicas NESTOR ROYAL NESTOR PORTED ‘The Original Brand of Over 30 Years’ Reputation. comicbooks.com