Judge — November 28, 1908 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE THE STANDARD OF EX. CELLENCE FOR OVER FIFTY YEARS. A BLEND OF MARYLAND'S. FINEST STRAIGHT RYE WHI. KIES. THE AMERICAN CENTLEMAN'’S WHISKEY. tak N.Y. their figures Presa, Most women ne ) to bed with them, Pears’ cleanses thoroughly, soothing and freshening. the skin. Pears’ is pure soap of gentle character. Sold everywhere. MOVING PICTURE MACHINES STEREOPTICONS (319) eu Oun mane BIO MONEY Ratertaining ROMEIKE’ ‘St Press Cutting Bureau will send you ‘aper clippings which may Ibject on DIAMONDS Cy. eee SHEARS an? DASTE-POT eee BETTER THAN DAKOTA. First lawyer—"1 wish I had been | ing in King Solomon's time.”” Second lawyer—"* Way?” First lawyer wives, Think of the divorce busine he could have thrown jn my way! Nlustrated Bits, AT THE MODERN UNIVERSITY. The university scout was making a |confidential report to the head of that t educational institution. I've done fairly well,” he said. “I've made adeal with that remarkable man with us next yea “Good !"” said the president. “What MISSING CHICKENS. inducement did you offer him? “1 haven't. missed any chick A free scholarship, of cou @ Jately,’’ said the man who had a he: year's board, and a suit of clothes. | nery, ‘Then I got that Homer boy who wears) “But pop has,’” replied the boy ne: the seven and three-quarters hat—the | door, memory expert, you remember. cost us a gold watch and fifty dollars. “How about the boy at Rome—the one who knows his Cwsar by heart?’’ “I missed him, Somebody got in ahead of me and nailed him for a scarf | pin and a pair of patent leathers. But} I signed up the young fellow who won fy | the gold medal in the debate at Demos- thenes, He looks good to me—and only cost his traveling expenses and a new Tuxedo coat."" That's fine!’’ said the president, as | —- — e ye, white r= | he rubbed his large, white hands to-| NOT’ASRALSE ALARM: | gethe r. “DT guess when it comes to an} z ” academic show-down, we'll make some! The mischievous boy of the famil “What are you talking about? Yor father hasn't any chickens. “No; but he shot at a couple of you yesterday, and missed ’em,”* THEIR USE. The college with the football team No proposition begs; When a chap hasn't any brains, They educate his legs. —Houston Post. | the boy played with his toy fire: indo: ANOT'BOR: Late one afternoon the silence w: was a man named Willie broken by shrill cries of ‘Fire! Help And he for office had a thirst ; ete., but the members of the househol But when he could not have his way, | supposing the noise came from * th: He'd always say, “1 will not play.”” Hearst, ** He had seven hundred change. would-be rivals of ours sit up|had taught his gray parrot to repeat ynder what's stung them !""—Cleve- | Many short but startling phrases, among ORIGINAL LONDON ia Dealer. ju to holler “ Fire! Help!” when CIGARETTES 5 engine ’ paid no at-| |, iv- le THE LADY OF QUALITY | ALWAYS ORDERS: | COOK’S 8 [XTRA DRY 7 CHAMPAGNE xt| forhersocial functions. Besides adding zest and buoyancy to the merry hour, its ur| elegant flavor and bouquet reflects the fine discrimination of the hostess. Served in the best American homes. Sold Everywhere. rs ly | PHILIP MORRIS Are the first | choice of those who insist upon as Id, at parrot broke loose again,’ He left one party, then another, ‘Cause his ambition would not smother, He got his own **machine"’ and started | But some of the ‘‘machine’’ soon parted, “What's wrong?” he cried. ‘By the eternal! I guess I’ got too hot a Journal -Yonkers Statesman, REMEMBER THIS PLAN. “How was it when the chief called you in to lecture you that he grew sud- denly so bland and kind?’ + the basement, from which smoke was tention to the outeries until the alarm fa . { | was rung in and engines came and flooded | 5| a quality smoke. | i } +1} CAMBRIDGE AMBASSADOR ; alter-dinner size pouring, and two plucky firemen rescued | the gasping cook, who was nearly suffo- | cated in her vain efforts to put out the fire, while calling for help. hen the family tried t> explain that they thought the cries came from the parrot, and the cook had owned up that she was polishing the stove with a fluid stove blacking, the man of the house re- marked vigorously, “‘ Hereafter, either “[ slipped my hat on to his seat, and he sat down plump upon it.""—Meggen-| kill that parrot, or use X-Ray Stove Polish—the best and safest fireproof ON CREDIT} | dorfer Blactter. | | stove polish ever made.’* No single issue of any other magazine under the sun ever had such an array of contributors as appears in the CHRISTMAS Mudge. In the first place few other magazines have the space for it. We are aware that names aren't everything, and some of the best humor that appears is the work of new and comparatively unknown writers. In this great holiday annual is the cream of everything, You've got to prove our Christmas pudding by tasting it; but just by way of indicating what is in store for you, here are a few names of those better-known bumorists who have contributed a laugh to the Christmas JUDGE, in picture, prose or verse, for your delectation. They are scarcely half of the list, and all live up to their reputations in this number for wit and jollity. WRITERS: Oliver Herford, Gelett Burgess, Carolyn Wells, Wilbur D. Nesbit, Elliott Flower, Charles Battell Loomis, Albert Bigelow Paine, William J. Lampton, John Kendrick Bangs, Tudor Jenks, Ed Mott, Tom Masson. Kobertus Love, Victor A. Hermann, F. P. Pitzer, Perrine Lambert, Roy K. Moulton, Lurana Sheldon, Edwin L. Sabin, Hugh Pendester, Porter Emerson Browne, Burges Johnson ARTISTS: Howard Chandler Christy, J, M. Flagg, Peter Newell, A. B. Frost, J. R. Bray, Louis Wain, I. C. Greening, Arthur Dove, Florence ‘Scovel Shinn, Charles Sarka, Arthur Lewis, Otto Lang, H. A. Petersen, John Conacher, Arthur Jameson, Nellie Meyer, Frederick Richardson, Jack Sears, Walt Kuhn, Will Craw- ford, Bob Addams, Aug. Hutaf, Laura E. Foster, J. H. Smith, Fred Lewis, Percy D. Johnson, Art Your rant E. Hamilton, E. Flohri, Eugene Zimmerman. ON SALE DECEMBER 2D. ORDER OF YOUR DEALER IN ADVANCE. HOTEL PIERREPONT 43-45-47 West 32d Street NEW YORK MARKY 1 meow European Pla Fireproot AGENTS —Gncnoe oiling Has Niawartictes rooted Ul Sa SEE so Darwen, @. Sampler comicbooks.com