Judge, 1908-10-03 · page 12 of 16
Judge — October 3, 1908 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **satirical poetry and humor page** from Judge magazine, with several distinct sections: **Main Content:** The dominant piece, "Mates for the Mateless," is a humorous poem addressing "Rhymeless"—apparently a reader who complained about lack of rhyming words in English. The poet mockingly defends the abundance of rhymes available, suggesting the complainer is simply lazy or incompetent. **Supporting Humor Pieces:** - "Might Experiment": A joke about a millionaire asking a minister whether donating to church guarantees salvation - "Superstitious": A poem ironically claiming the speaker dismisses superstitions while actually engaging in them (knocking on wood, fearing thirteen at table) - Brief anecdotes about divorce, doctors' waiting rooms, and marital finances **Purpose:** These are light, domestic satires typical of Judge's era—poking fun at human foibles, pretension, and everyday absurdities rather than political targets. The page demonstrates the magazine's mix of verse, jokes, and advertising common to early 20th-century humor publications.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
and still keeps on p lack for friends. —E: Hoffman House MADISON SQUANE, NEW YORK MATES FOR THE MATELESS. Almont, person, in, dainty, al jaence, hardly are rhymelens peril, coffin, chil Though I'm reticent As is every word-adorner, This remark, of all the oddest, Draws me boldly fram my corner, “Rhymeless."* Ere Dorder up Is there no such stor Wide, indeed, the sh ay it at your peri 1 scoff in. mention of a chilblain r dainty, "says Mr. Will Blaine, now, ain't he? Though th rhyme He's authority u smooth or wear you Galways, Or from Atchison or Henley, Rhy re very « , ‘And the sport is anly! Words are but a sh rds are finishers of laboring canst im For a small and daily gang-wag: wy pageant; IS THE PERFECTION OF UALITY AND FLAVOR If a bard would only grab And would think inm nner their ab Would he? I rdly! ntside, insi¢ rhymes will st Turn ‘em fr And thy Why, if | had any doubts Be considerably nervous. , outside, ly serve us. change. wrape fruit, Ht taste MIGHT EXPERIMENT. A. millionaire | + lived a life of which back on it, he felt non minister at his ly, “mel so to th assured ?"* The minister replied cautiously, dying. He had he now looked too proud, Iside he muttered r © fifty thousa church, will my 1 pounds or salvation be “LT wouldn't like to be positive, but it's well worth trying.” Opine i} SUPERSTITIOUS. With me no signs or omens count; Lhave no superstitious fe “Thirteen at table’ brings n If only food enough appears. T would not fear to spill the salt, Or walk beneath a ladder’s slope I put no trust in elairvoyants, j OF what the racing men eall “dope."* Ido not s »p to pick up pins; I'm very sure "twould do no good. L often make a vapid boast, And then negleet to knock on wood. h signs and omens eut no | With me, L tell I | But when Myrtilla | I'm sure there’ Absolutely Firepreot si 1 now; her foot, nye to be a row! mercille Journal. ‘BUSINESS’ DEPRESSION, SANTAL CAPSULES Bevery couaterfe 2. yy, “The World’s Best Table Water.”’ 1 Any ublic was comp to cool hi nally, he summa said, Pr tor, and tell him if [I am not admitte in fi Th admit Post, GOOD GROUND FOR COMPLAINT. | Short wants a divors nearly lar of IN A DOCTOR'S ANTEROOM. able length of tim rei experience ‘one who has had to vit any in room until the man of med ady to re in, of Washington S' congressman some It time ago ¢ noted 1 and it the ni Hed for many w heels in an anteroom. ming exhaus' ndant, to whom he his p: nt my compliments to the do minutes I shall get well ag: physician found it conve Mr. Cushi once, “1 New York “t understand why De His wife had half a million when he married NUFF SAID. “He's got more moncy than he has “Yes, and she has every dol- sense. That's the trouble. it rich.” By James Montgomery Plage ANOTHER BRIDGE SCANDAL, Protograv nteney Send S cents for our illutrated catalogue of beautiful prints 2202: HOLDING HANDS Photogravure in sepia, 14 19 JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York Tote anppliat by the Amster oo Thin a Paubdishtng Company, comicbooks.com canseript. , tel a to call most e Every bard that writes a verse on Any subject, it is almost Time to call this London person |