Judge, 1908-07-25 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 25, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This *Judge* magazine page contains several satirical sketches: **"Conservative Suggestions"** mocks Theodore Roosevelt's trust-busting policies through awkward rhyming wordplay—suggesting alternative slogans like "The trust we bust" as absurd substitutions. **"Natural Selection"** is a brief joke: a father explains poets wear turned-down collars because they've learned this habit "from their experience with editors"—satirizing editorial rejection of poets' work. **"No Terrors for Him"** and **"One on the Soda Clerk"** depict absurd scenarios: a man claiming faith science immunity from poison, and another customer performing an elaborate cocktail ritual (whiskey, egg, lemon, mint, cinnamon) that bewilders the clerk—mocking pseudoscientific fads and pretentious behavior. **"Where It Belonged"** and **"A Time and Place for Everything"** appear to be brief conversational jokes about horses and sea-serpents, likely playing on tourist resort exaggerations. The page exemplifies *Judge's* satirical approach: mocking contemporary fads, politics, and social pretensions through visual humor and wordplay.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CONSERVATIVE SUG- GESTIONS. I TEDDY must It might be just The proper crust To substitute “The trust we bust."” If verbal gust Still stirs the dust, We might use Har. ** Do him fust."" “In lust we rust" Is not the wust To stral nup What has been mussed. NATURAL SELECTION. 66 FATHER, F bler’s litt do poets wear turn-down col- lars?"* “is ah my son, from th perience with editors." sked Serib- son, “* why it they ae. rex: quire man calls for help) that fellow! How does he expect me NO TERRORS FOR HIM. ONE ON THE SODA CLERK. JAY was hot and business at the soda fountain had been of plants are sprayed with?’ rush description. The clerk at the upper end was enjoying My boy, I’m a faith scientist. 1 con- hing spell when a tall, thin man in a bamboo hat dashed menthe, and partake of it freely after — in hurriedly and walked briskly up to the bar. “Just give me half a glass of water, will you?” jerked the comer, as he threw up his elbows and ‘lit’ on a stool. The clerk obligingly drew half a glass of water and slid it in front of h himself for further orders. “+A slice of that lemon—just a wafer,” it. The angle worm—* How in the world do you escape being poi- soned by the paris green th The potato bug sider the stuff creme d meals."” suggested the new: comer, with sudden inter , though slightly bewildered, complied. The ma: mon into the water and then put both hands into his of whiskey dropped. the coat pockets, His right hand brought up a and his left produced an egg. Skillfully ers blow he dumped the contents into the glass, following it imr rs of the liquor. Diving into a vest pock proved to be mint. This went in ala sprigg of green tha 1 then slightly rose on his toes and seanned the ari its and flavors before hir and clutched the A few and he seized a soda spoon from a near-by rack sean stirring the mixtur head appeared on top he withdrew the spoon, yanked the glass to his atisfying gulps. he wiped his tatly- slowly to his fect. edd at sly. When ked, as he Then he went out, leaving the clerk weak in the knees and ab solutely — xpeceh- less. TH up aygtinst the had been very latest. WHERE IT BE- LONGED. Old gent trace, that, horse of Sheedy's is a dandy. But wh HONGLER, ACTIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING Passenger—* Do you seamen often see the belong t Boy THOSE MOUNTAIN-RESOR'T GIRLS belongs to t sea-serpent Lady boarder, at same hou —* Oh, Ma. Spi John !—won't you le brown horse, Captain" Only when we'te a vl ett please pick that sweet spray of mbine on yer ay up? sir.” duty, stn” . comicbooks.com