Judge, 1908-07-25 · page 5 of 16
Judge — July 25, 1908 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: 1. **"The Other Nursery"**: A humorous dialogue where an anxious mother consults Gottfried Gluber, a florist and tree-dealer, about her sickly child. His advice—cutting plant stems and soaking the garden hose—becomes absurdly applied to child-rearing, satirizing misguided parenting advice and perhaps the era's pseudo-scientific approaches to health. 2. **"Accurate" and "Also, Consider It!"**: Brief social commentary pieces on reliability and life choices, mocking urban anxieties and unfulfilled aspirations. 3. **"Social Blunder" and "Observations of a Sport"**: Short joke sections poking fun at social etiquette violations and sporting behaviors. 4. **"Those Inconsistent Cranks"**: Final cartoon ridiculing people who ice-bathe in winter but won't ice-skate in summer—highlighting contradictory human behavior. The page is primarily humorous rather than overtly political.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
e IT WAS THE OTHER NURSERY SHE WANTED. N ANXIOUS mother determines to ring up the A day nursery to ask for some advice as to her child. Calling for the nursery she is given Gottfried Gluber, florist and tree -dealer. The following conversation ensues : “Teatled for the nursery. Is this the nursery?" es, ma’am."" “Lam so worried about my little Rose. “Vat seems to be der madder?”” “Oh, not so very much, perhaps, but just a gen- eral listlessness and lack of life “Vell, I vill dell you vat todo. You dake Z__ der scissors und cut off aboud two inches from | —~ der limbs und “ Wha-a-at?”” “Tsay, dake der scissors und cut off aboud two inches from der limbs, und den turn der garten hose on it for aboud four hours in der * morning ”* “ Wha-a-at?”” And the receiver vibrated at her tone. “Turn der garten hose on for aboud four hours in der morning, und den pile a lot of plack dirt all around und shprinkle mit insegt powter all ofer der top "—— “ Sirerert” * Shprinkle mit insegt powter all ofer der top. You know usually it is noddings but pugs dot" ** How dare you, sir? What do you mean by such language to m * Noddings but pugs usu- ally trouble den you vant to vash der rose quid uses der und mit a breparations 1 haf for sale here Who in the world are you, anyway?" ttfried der flo- her we * Good-by. Clara dread to think of my thirtieth birthday.”” Stella~ “Why, did something. un- ant hal pen then?” SOCIAL BLUNDER. “ Why did Binks’s widow feel so indignant at his funeral ?** “The members of his volunteer hose company sent him a floral fire-extinguisher.” ‘THOSE, INCONSISTENT CRANKS. Why don't they yo ska through the ice in winter. ACCURAT Landlady—" My other tenants complained of the noise last night. You assured me that you retired eatly.” New tenant—" So do, so 1 do—early in the morning.” ALSO, CONSARN IT! P IN the mountains I would hie And have a cool time in July At some resort hotel up nigh ‘The summit. I'd have the finest time, you know. There's just one reason I don’t go— Tean’t accumulate the dough, it! ten planned # gay career at Narragansett Pier. igured that most every year Would bring it; ow, and I don't know why, But s When to the ocean I would fly, My roll of long green turns out shy. jol ding it! Last yeur I swore that 1 would go ‘To Coney for a day, you know, And take a dollar bill or so And burn it But when t Arrived I found [had to stay And hustle for my weekly pi Gol durn it! gov x. OBSERVATIONS OF A SPORT. SOME people are temporarily embarrassed all the tim Many a man goes fishing and comes home with @ hunted look. Jug not—that ye be not jugged. The best gamblers don't gamble. ‘Trumps are sometimes found in the discard. The piper has been overpaid—and we are stil dancing. AOBENT CANLTON BROWN. the briny in summer? comicbooks.com