Judge — July 11, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MIDSUMMER MAGAZINE ANNOUNCEMENTS. Anybody’s: A little girl we know came to her mother the other day and asked, ‘‘ Mother, when is a door not a door?”’ The lady was frankly puzzled, nor could she restrain her laughter when her laughter explained, ‘* When it’s a-jar."” We may inquire on our own account, when is a magazine not a magazine? When it hands you a jar. Which is what our August number will do, Are you aware that the servant girls of America have almost completed the closest union known in history? that blacklisted employers will be unable to obtain service from food deliverers, postmen, policemen, or fire- men? that special offenders will be dynamited? If you have nervous prostration don’t buy the next number of Anybody’s, otherwise do— take Ermin’s word on it. Barker's: The August Barker's Magazine will be the most magnificent product of the printing press yet issued, and identical in make-up with the same number of last year. Our pleasant lady authors tell the usual stories with most ingenious variations, the Dizain of Queens gives up the customary pint of blood, and we also romise the following essays: ‘‘ Social Life among the Worms, “*How Many Children Make a Nuisance," ‘‘ Why Two Negati Make an Affirmative,” and ‘* Notes of a Journey to Hackensack. Howard Byle contributes a lunatic in full color. Cosmopolis: We feel we have only to present the opening para- graph of the great new se- rial by Mr. H. G. Bells, the most wonder- ful forecaster of future social conditions, to assure the suc- cess of our Au- gust numb “* Hitherto air- flights had been a luxury of the cry interesting article here on race suicide. You dit.” Thank you, no. [am not interested in motoring.” rich, but at last the govern- ments of northern civilization, appreciating the crisis, had enforced a wise system of taxation which eliminated private wealth, and the great accretions of national funds were applied to the enormous proj- ect of equipping each citizen with a flying machine, for with the approach of winter, sudden retreat to the gouth offered the only es- PPED HIS MIND. ALMOST SI. “ Mammy says yo" t’ cum quick °s yo" kin. Wot she wan’ me fo" ?” “ Ah dun fo'got.” “Well, yo" bettah ‘membah, chile. She wan’ watah? “No * Nope.” “Am mah dinnah burnin’? “Oh, golly! now Ah ‘membah. It sho'ly am, an’ so's de house!” FAITH IN ORATORY. , you remember a good deal about the politics of the *T suppose, Uncle J early days?” “Well, I John ©, Fren tuk much intrest in pollytics, but I kin recollect when ‘lected President.” y, Fremont was never elected.” Well, now, thet gits me. I heerd a leadin’ speaker talk the “he said if John C. Fremont wun't ‘lected the country J fall to ruin ybody would have to shut up shop. Course I didn’t take the papers; but, noticin’ thet things wi a bout same as befe cal- clated John won, So he wun't ‘lected? We thet gits me!” cape from freezing. The previous late spring saw the last lump of coal consumed. Centurion: Professor Growell’s “ History of Venus"? (the planet, not the lady) begins in the August issue. We need not point out the obvious advantages of this subject for serial treatment, Read a few hund month on a similar subject in any en- cyclopidia, and sce for yourself how little trouble you have in forget- ting it. 1 words once a@ fect Latics’ Companion: cries of articles entitled The Joya of Motherhood,’* by a pure-blooded Plymouth Rock hen, How To Improve Your Sunsets—Reader have you ever thought how bare and cheerless some of your sunsets are? ‘These articles, written by our sunset expert, will re- veal all, How To Borrow from Your Neighbors A series of eminently up- lifting: monographs on this vitally im- portant subject: “When To Return Articles," “ Backdoor Etiquette,”” “Using Other Telephones,” ete. A notable event will be a thrilling story by the world-famous Mrs. Burton Co- relli Maric Harrison, ‘The pictures are very striking. Th not seen tory when he m and was fore unhampered by convention. The results ure much better than usual. HEY'S no ac- caountin’ fer tastes in love, n the dark- braown one, comicbooks.com