Judge, 1908-07-04 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 4, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humor pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **Top cartoon**: Shows wealthy boys with fireworks on Independence Day. "Little Willie Swelleye" places a giant firecracker near his face to investigate why it won't ignite—it then explodes, the joke being his comeuppance for arrogant stupidity. **"The Reason"**: A brief joke about a widow not suing a trolley company after an accident, because the jury would assume she already owed them money (implying poor reputation). **"A Reasonable Translation"**: A schoolboy humor piece where a teacher asks students to translate Latin ("Sic semper tyrannis"—"thus always to tyrants"), and a boy rudely replies "Take your foot off my neck." **"The Cord That Wasn't Lost"**: A sentimental poem about a woodman leaving his sweetheart, using clever nature puns (poplar/popular, dog-wood bark). **Right side**: Contains a Packer's Tar Soap advertisement. The page is primarily **light domestic humor and advertising**, not political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ECIAL OPPORTUNI reates’ statesmen an’ jedges an’ senatahs when Ab lived in Washin ‘ton, ” Oi suppose ye wor wan av th’ attaches there. Ah wuz ‘tached to a swell saloon."* STUNG! | eee WILLIE SWELLEYE was celebrating the ‘ glorious Fourth’’ as only boys who happen to possess wealthy parents can, Beside collection of small fireworks, he had a giant cannon cracker. sizzle,”” and a large crowd of witness the spectacle, Will an immense At promptly eleven-thirty o’clock an announcement was sent out that he was going to let her er young friends gathered in an empty lot to placed it-carefully upon an upturned brick, struck a match, touched it to the fuse, and precipitated himself to a place of sufety. The excited group waited breathlessly. The cracker failed to explode. Willie became impatient and also disgusted. With an air of superiority over his companions, he bravely walked up to the brick and grabbed up the crimson oblong with both hands, Placing the end where the fuse enters the cracker close to his face, he squinted one eye and tried to ascertain the source of trouble, ‘Then there was a terrific explosion—-but it occurred several blocks down the street. Willie discovered that the thing was no good. JUN Mt Me NEEL, ACCURATE. Agent's clerk—“* How shall I word this advertisement of a house to rent? You can reach the station from it in a quarter of an hour if you run for ten ‘THE REASON, thet thar trolley company was to blame for the acci- dent, why don’t Si's widder sue fer damages?” *Wa-al, ye see, Si was so well known that the jury would likely decide that she was indebted to the company.” A REASONABLE TRANSLATION. THE teacher was telling the class in fourth-grade geography ubout the great seals of the different states, using the pictures in the dictionary as the basis of the lesson. Pointing to the seal of Virginia, she asked, “Now, who can tell me, from this picture, what should be the meaning of these Latin words, ‘ Sic semper tyrannis "7" Bobby’s hand went up. “All right, Bobby; you may tell uw “Take your foot off my nec reply. was Bobby's minutes of the way Agent“ Advertise it as five minutes’ walk from the station."” THE “CORD” THAT WASN'T LOST. 66 PINE knot,” the woodman said; “TIL soon return to yew. The train | take on the Oakland branch Leaves this here town at two,” She saw him board the waiting train; His face was all a-bear. | They took his trunk and threw it in, As the engine got up steam. Allspruced up, home at last he came, A poplar man of mark. She met him there, und at each kiss Her little dog-wood bark. “ has a fancy-work face."* H “A what?” “A fancy-work face. Every time his per gets ruffled his brows knit.” comicbooks.com